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Advice book

Whether or Not to Have a Baby

Date Posted:

Rinpoche gave the following advice to a couple who were trying to decide whether to have a baby.

Lama Zopa Rinpoche relaxing with children and students at Waterlow Park, Highgate, London, 1983. Photo by Robin Bath.
Lama Zopa Rinpoche relaxing with children and students at Waterlow Park, Highgate, London, 1983. Photo by Robin Bath.

It makes life so complicated! If your plan is to give a human body to a sentient being who is looking for a human body, and you know how to bring it up in a way that would make its life most beneficial for the world, and you have a good, clear plan – that is different. With that plan, you can manage well. But if you don’t have that plan, then having a child is just for one’s own pleasure, like keeping a dog. However, if your attitude is according to that plan from the beginning, and the material part can be managed, it’s OK. Otherwise, if you have a child, and you don’t have that plan, instead of increasing kindness, patience, tolerance, peace, and happiness in the world, there would only be more trouble. I think whether or not to have a child very much depends on what kind of life the child is going to have.