Prayers and Practices for the Deceased
Practices for Deceased Mother
Rinpoche checked and advised the following practices for a student whose mother had passed away.
I did prayers and felt your mother’s mind has passed into the intermediate state. What is needed and comes out very good for her are:
- For you to sponsor one hundred nyung näs. Either one person can do the nyung näs or many people can accumulate that number together. One place this could be done is at Institut Vajra Yogini.
- Your mother has a connection with Maitreya, so anything you offer or help you give to that project, you can dedicate the merit for her also.
- Recite the King of Prayers, etc., for her.
- Sponsor the reading of the Tengyur, the commentaries on the Buddha’s teachings. It comes out best for Thubten Chöling Nunnery, which is near Drepung Monastery [in south India], to do this.
Practices for Deceased Parents
A student asked Rinpoche about practices for his parents, who had passed away. He was worried his parents had been reborn in the lower realms.
My most dear, most kind, most precious, wish-fulfilling one,
I checked, and for your father you need the Eight Prayers at the death time to be recited fifty times by Tsawa Khangtsen [at Sera Monastery].
First discuss the appropriate offering with Tsawa Khangtsen and whether you can offer tea, etc. Please ask them to dedicate for your father and for all sentient beings.
If you can, have a Vajrasattva statue made. It should be nine inches high. Dedicate for your father and mother, as well as for all sentient beings.
With much love and prayers ...
Practices for Deceased Partner
A student whose partner had passed away asked what could be done for them to have a fortunate rebirth. Rinpoche advised these practices.
- Read the Diamond Cutter Sutra for your partner thirty times. [Rinpoche will do some and also the monks who are around Rinpoche.]
- Sponsor five nyung näs, dedicated for your partner.
- Recite Chanting the Names of Manjushri three times.
- You need to do strong tonglen practice. This is the best.
Prayers for Student Reborn in Naga Realm
Extra prayers were needed for a student who had passed away. It seems the student had been reborn as a naga.
- Mitukpa mantra: This can be recited while making water offerings to the pretas.
- Prajnaparamita: Recitation of all three texts (small, medium and large) at Drepung nunnery.
- Nyung näs: Three students can do eight nyung näs each, twenty-four in total. [Students’ names advised by Rinpoche].
Daily Sur Practice for Deceased Person
A student wrote with a query about doing sur offering practice for someone who had passed away. The student asked if the practice needed to continue every day once it was started. Rinpoche gave this advice.
I read your letter and was very, very happy that you did the Vajrasattva retreat.
Regarding your question about sur practice, it was Geshe Lama Konchog who said that once we start sur then we need to continue.
Geshe Lama Konchog used the example that if we give food to a beggar, then the next day the beggar would expect it again. Once we gave food to them, they would expect it every day. It is logical reasoning. So, you can figure it out from there.
But some people do sur just for 49 days after someone passes, and after 49 days they stop.
Anyway, you can do it as much as possible. Even if you can’t promise to do it every day, please do it as much as you can.
What to Do with Ashes of a Loved One
After her husband’s death and cremation, a student had planned to bury his ashes in the garden. Rinpoche advised it was important to first consecrate the ashes by doing jangwa, a purification ritual to benefit the deceased. Rinpoche also recommended putting the consecrated ashes in tsa tsas.
It’s very important to first have jangwa purification done by a good practitioner. By doing that the ashes are also consecrated. After that they look like ashes, but it is the same as having a statue of Buddha. The ashes become a holy object.
Then you can sprinkle the ashes in the ocean or a lake, and it blesses the water. All the creatures in the water are purified and do not get reborn in the lower realms. Or you can sprinkle the ashes on a mountain where there is wind, so the ashes are scattered in space and help any sentient being that they touch. It purifies them. You can also sprinkle the ashes in places where there are lots of insects, worms and animals, so they are purified and liberated from the lower realm.
The other good thing you can do is make tsa tsas and put some of the ashes inside. Usually in Tibet and Solu Khumbu, they make tsa tsas of the Immovable Buddha, Mitukpa. This is very powerful for purification. You can make a stupa or a buddha tsa tsa or a Mitukpa tsa tsa.
You can make any amount of tsa tsas, but without doing jangwa and just putting the ashes in the garden, there is no benefit, not only for the person who has died, but also for the family and for others. There is no benefit at all. Especially making tsa tsas has benefits—the family receives benefits and so much merit.
This advice should be kept well, so others can know this. For those who need to understand, that helps to save my time.
The student sent a photo of the nice garden where she would bury her husband's ashes. Rinpoche advised:
Probably you are thinking that your husband, who has already passed away, wants to be in a nice place, but there is no effect for your husband. That place is very nice, but it is only for your mind. If there are lots of ants or other creatures there, then it can be useful because it purifies them, as long as the ashes have had jangwa puja on them. Or, you can put the ashes in the ocean or even at the beach, where there are many tiny lobsters and there might be other animals that can receive benefit.