Other Letters

I was hesitating whether I should let Rinpoche know about this. I was worried because I read somewhere that some dakinis will ask holy beings to leave their students to go to the pure land instead.

So I did a mo in front of Guru Twenty-one Taras tsa-tsa, which was blessed by Rinpoche during this year’s Chinese New Year blessing. My mo was tossing a coin for Guru Tara to decide. Guru Tara said yes, I should let Rinpoche know.

On Monday 25 April, I went to the Buddha Tooth Relic Temple, Chinatown, Singapore, and made two vows in the presence of Guru Shakyamuni Buddha’s relics. I remembered that Shakyamuni Buddha said seeing the relics is the same as seeing the Buddha himself. I requested all the buddhas, bodhisattvas and Dharma protectors from all the ten directions and three times to witness this.

Vow Number One:

I will take eight Mahayana precepts for the rest for my life until the day I die, so that I can accumulate a lot of merit continuously and purify whatever mistakes I have done since beginningless time, for Rinpoche to recover completely in the shortest possible time, for Rinpoche to live a long healthy, stable life and for all his holy wishes to be swiftly fulfilled. I will dedicate the merits continuously for all sentient beings, so that the Guru-Buddha will continue to stay and guide all of us.

Vow Number Two:

After I complete this human rebirth, I vow to reborn:

• in the hottest hell for numberless eons
• in the hell of continual resurrection where I will be reborn and die billions and trillions of times each day
• in the coldest hell for numberless eons
• as the worst hungry ghost for numberless eons
• as animals and insects for numberless eons
• even when I am born as a human, I will have the most suffering, so to be born deaf, blind, dumb, disabled, a beggar, a prostitute, mentally ill, always sick, cancer all over the body, etc, for numberless eons.

This is so that whatever negative karma of students—including myself—and any manifestations of obstacles and lack of merit of sentient beings will all continuously ripen on me instead, and will not manifest on Rinpoche ever again.

I vow that I will continue to be reborn in the suffering states until all sentient beings are liberated and enlightened by Rinpoche. Only then will I be liberated and enlightened by Rinpoche. I also dedicate the remaining lifespan of my human life to Rinpoche.

Rinpoche, please don’t manifest any more obstacles ever again. May Rinpoche’s blood pressure and blood sugar levels be normal and stay at the healthy level forever. May Rinpoche completely recover quickly (nyur wa nyur war). May Rinpoche live a long, healthy, stable life and may all his holy wishes be swiftly accomplished. May all FPMT projects be very successful according to Rinpoche’s wishes, and may Rinpoche remain and teach us until samsara ends.

Rinpoche, please manifest your enlightened power to heal yourself.

Thank you.

To my precious, magnificent, most kind and holy guru, Kyabje Lama Zopa Rinpoche.
Thank you so much for your blessings and love. Since you stayed with us recently, my husband has had a miraculous transformation. It all started with your advice to recite the Sanghata Sutra eight times, with my family’s help. I casually asked my husband whether he would wish to help, although I thought it was likely that he would find an excuse to say no. To my surprise, he agreed to recite it once. We also invited the venerable Sangha from the center to join us.

I was very surprised when my husband completed the recitation first. He admitted that he was surprised that he could sit through the recitation, with some short breaks, because normally he had difficulty sitting down to recite prayers for more than 10 minutes. Also, he smokes almost continuously, but he hardly smoked during these three hours of recitation.

The following Sunday, after his return from an overseas trip, he agreed to recite the sutra a second time. He had the flu and would normally have excused himself, but this time he wanted to recite it, to my surprise and happiness for him. This time, he admitted that he recovered from his flu after completing the recitation of the sutra. He was astonished by his immediate recovery and, in fact, he was the one who told me about the result.

A few days later, he also received news from his boss that the company had decided to give him some stock options out of the blue. We are blessed indeed.

Then, he offered to do the third round of recitations to help me out, as I hadn't completed my eight recitations yet. I think it was an auspicious day and merit-making in the millions. Only two of us were reciting the sutra, and we finished at 2:30 am. This was the first time he did the dedication prayers completely. Afterwards, he told me he felt so good that he would go on for another hour. Also, he could sit steadily, which surprised him. He told me that he recited ten malas of OM MANI PADME HUM for the first time in his life that very same day, spontaneously, from his own side. Rejoice!

My husband said he would like to do the next Sanghata Sutra recitation this Sunday and dedicate it to your long life and for all your projects to come to fruition immediately, free from obstacles and hindrances.

Thank you so much for the miracle, Rinpoche. Thank you so much for your blessings and for showing us the path to enlightenment. You make our lives so meaningful.

May my parents, my husband, and my whole family be able to receive the teachings from you, and may you lead us to enlightenment for the benefit of all sentient beings as soon as possible. May my body, speech, and mind always please you. Please come and stay with us always.

With love and devotion,

Your student (a low, wretched, inferior sentient being saved by a most compassionate buddha, manifested as my magnificent guru, Lama Zopa Rinpoche)

In 2007, Rinpoche was about to start a Green Tara retreat in Malaysia when I received an emergency call to return home, as my father had gone into a coma. I felt desperate and lost, so a friend brought me to see Rinpoche, to ask for help. I was crying and pleading with Rinpoche. He gave me one very precious Buddha's relic for my father, and told me that my father would come out of his coma in five days.

I flew home with this precious relic, rushed to the hospital and made my father swallow it. He woke up after five days, exactly as Rinpoche had assured me he would. My father is still doing very well today, though he cannot remember his near death experience.

The doctors could not explain his recovery, as they had told us that they had done their best and to take my dad home. I said no and that my dad would be well in five days, as Rinpoche had said.

I feel so indebted and grateful to my beloved and precious guru, Lama Zopa Rinpoche.

Dearest Teacher and Friend,
I have been in the hell realms with my children for the last 18 months. At this point we have not spoken for many months. Over the years they have been angry at me for a number of things. I have not seen any of my grandchildren for over a year. It just goes on and on. I have been alternately angry, frustrated, confused, and hurt by their behavior toward me.

On Saturday night my husband and I had yet another conversation, trying to figure it all out. Again, no answers. I got out of bed and went into another room and just cried. I realized that I can get answers to these kinds of questions from my own side. It is impossible to figure out the motivations of others. However, I can try to understand my own motivation. I went into a meditative state with the question, “What was my motivation for having each of these children?”

As my mind drifted further back in time, I remembered who I was when they were conceived. I was a mess. I wanted my children to save me. I wanted them to help me to have what I did not have. I wanted someone to love me. ME ME ME. It was all about me and my needs, and, of course, when they arrived they were helpless and needed all those things from me. When I really got in touch with the feelings and thoughts of my mind from that time, I realized why my kids have always seemed so unhappy with me. That important beginning was poisoned by self-cherishing. At the moment that realization came, I felt a small explosion go off in my mind. The realization of the torment in cyclic existence hit me full on, and my heart filled with compassion for these beings. I held onto the understanding for a while, and then I trotted off to bed. When I put my head on the pillow I wished that I had memorized “Calling the Lama from Afar.” I simply said three times, “Lama Zopa, help me to banish self-cherishing from my life!” I immediately went to sleep.

In the morning when I woke up, the feeling of tightness in my chest, like dull teeth biting in, was gone! I have had this feeling for 18 months, sometimes worse than others, but always there. And now it was gone. I felt a kind of peace that had eluded me not just in this situation, but through many things that have happened in my life. I went to the Wheel of Sharp Weapons and found this:

When others find fault with whatever we are doing, and people seem eager to blame only us, this is the wheel of sharp weapons returning full circle upon us from wrongs we have done. Till now we have been shameless, not caring about others. We have thought that our deeds did not matter at all. Hereafter, let's stop our offensive behavior. (v. 23)

It seems to me that this sums it up. I am a cause of my own suffering, and it is up to me, and me alone, to become enlightened to stop this suffering for all beings.

Do you think this qualifies as a meditation on the lower scope?

Biggest love and prayers to you Dear Heart. I thank you for caring for me and never giving up on me. Have a safe journey and a safe return.

Your friend in Dharma...