Heresy and Negative Thoughts

Negative Mind
A student wrote to Rinpoche about her negative, critical mind, which had become worse after attending lamrim teachings and a retreat. She found Dharma practice difficult, because her mind was restless and there was no inner feeling for the words she read. She felt distant from the Dharma and Rinpoche, and was worried about losing contact, trust and faith. Rinpoche advised the following.

My dear Abby,
You should go to the beach quite often and walk on the sand at the side of the ocean or walk beside a river. Just relax and enjoy. The beach will help to distract your mind and help you not to think of your problems. Enjoy the sunshine, the water and all that. It will make you more relaxed. I will pray for you.
With much love and prayer...
Heretical Thoughts During Nyung Näs
Rinpoche gave the following advice to a nun who was doing one thousand nyung näs and was concerned at heretical thoughts arising in her mind. She had completed fifty-eight nyung näs.
My most dear one,
It is incredible what you have been able to do; it is amazing what you have already done.
I think what is happening with your mind is some imprints of wrong views and heresy from past lives are rising up. You should know that. Don't think that your mind is you, or that your mind is negative; you don't need to think that way. Negative thoughts can arise, but you don't need to follow or believe them.
So, please continue doing nyung näs. Also, you can do lamrim meditations in between; it is very important to do those.
Do your meditations and prostrations and think that you are purifying negative karma that you have created since beginningless time, as well as purifying the suffering result that you have collected since beginningless rebirths, as well as purifying broken pratimoksa and bodhisattva vows that you have broken since beginningless rebirths, especially negative karma collected with the guru. So, you must continue to do these purification practices such as prostrations.
When you do mandala offerings, make a strong request, from Jorchö:
Special Request for the Three Great Purposes
I prostrate and go for refuge to the guru and the Three Rare Sublime Ones: please bless my mind.
Please bless me and all mother sentient beings to immediately cease all the wrong concepts from disrespect to the spiritual friend up to the subtle dual appearances of the white appearance, red increase, and dark near attainment.
Please bless us to immediately generate all the right realizations from respect for the spiritual friend up to the unification of no more learning.
Please bless us to immediately pacify all outer and inner obstacles. (3x)
When negative thoughts come, it means you need to collect merit. One way of doing this is by reciting this prayer. After making mandala offerings, recite this prayer for the Three Great Purposes three times. Make very strong prayers to your gurus, as well as to Chenrezig and the nyung nä lineage lamas, who are all inseparable from your guru. Make very strong prayers for them to grant blessings for you to receive all the realizations. It is very important that when these thoughts rise up you do not allow them to last a long time and try not to follow them.
Once in Australia when I was doing prostrations, suddenly the thought came "maybe there is no enlightenment." It didn't last long, only a short time, not even a minute. This shows past heresy, a negative imprint. So, you should be aware of this and not follow those thoughts. When the thoughts come, make very strong prayers to your guru, think that nectar descends and purifies all your wrong concepts and that you receive all the realizations.
You can also recite your guru’s name mantra or Lama Tsongkhapa mantra (mig me...) and a strong prayer for protection. It is billions of times worse to think heretical thoughts than to fall down a precipice and die. If that happens it just harms this life. Heresy creates incredibly negative karma, no liberation, no enlightenment; it can destroy all your merits and make one be reborn in the hell realms. If one does not have heretical thoughts, and has faith, even if one’s morality degenerates, one will be reborn in the animal realm, but if one has heretical thoughts, one will be reborn in the hell realm. Therefore, remember this, heresy is a billion times worse then falling down a precipice and dying, or falling off a cliff, or dying from cancer or AIDS.
So, you must protect your mind, do purification practice, and make strong requests to the guru to grant you blessings.
Please continue doing nyung näs and let me know how you are getting on after a few months.
With much love and prayers...
Overwhelmed by Obstacles
A student wrote to Rinpoche with questions regarding her practice. She explained that she had done eight nyung näs and then after doing these felt overwhelmed by obstacles and had stopped doing all of her practices. She said she felt a lot of anger and that it was affecting other people around her, and wondered what she could do.

I think that you saw some problems in your life, and your mind was overwhelmed by that. One reason for your losing interest and motivation, for example, to do your sadhana practice, is because you haven’t been meditating, reading the lamrim, and meditating on the lamrim. That is why you have experienced these things. Because of this, the mind can be overtaken by emotions, obligations, and attachment.
Another thing is maybe you haven’t remembered the importance of and benefits of the practice. Even if you don’t understand a sadhana, if you remember or read about its benefits, then that will give you energy and inspiration to practice the sadhana, even if you don’t understand it. It leaves only a positive imprint.
First of all, from reading newspapers, watching TV, and from many other things, what we hear about is desire and delusions. Even conversations are usually about desire or delusions. So, usually, these things leave a negative imprint. It depends on how you look at these things. If you read newspapers with a lamrim mind, watch TV with a lamrim mind, thoroughly renounced, then the thought will arise in you, “Living in samsara is the nature of suffering.” Then if you watch TV, you see it as developing renunciation, seeing that samsaric pleasure is in the nature of suffering. If you read newspapers, watch the pleasures of samsara, have sex, have great wealth, or have many friends with renunciation, whatever you see is the nature of suffering.
You can watch TV with compassion, thinking how what you see is suffering. When you see the TV or newspapers, you can definitely see that the nature of everything is suffering. Everything you see becomes the teaching of Buddha and a cause for developing compassion and bodhicitta. It depends on how you look at it. The whole world depends on how you look at it. If you look at it with renunciation, the wish to be liberated from samsara, and samsara as in the nature of suffering, then you see the whole world is in the nature of suffering and is only the cause to achieve liberation. Then you begin to think how others are suffering and from that generate compassion, the wish to free them from all suffering and its causes, by oneself alone.
Also, you can watch TV with right view, so that everything you see is empty from its own side, even though it appears that it is existing from its own side. You see how it is empty because it is a dependent arising.
Normally what we do is the opposite of the lamrim: watching TV, reading newspapers, hearing people talk, whatever, so everything becomes a cause to develop delusions, attachment, etc., and it leaves a negative imprint. But the Buddha’s teachings leave a positive imprint. Even if you don’t practice the sadhana or lamrim, just listening to or reading them leaves a positive imprint. Just that! The positive imprint, which is left on the mind, sooner or later becomes a cause to become enlightened.
The Buddha gave teachings to five swans. In their next life they were all born as human beings, became Sangha, entered into the path, and then became arya beings; they actualized the wisdom directly perceiving emptiness. Like this, their delusions began to cease from hearing the teachings of the Buddha. The monks had a dog who would hear the Dharma, but didn’t understand the meaning. Just by hearing the precious Dharma, when the dog died it was born in the higher realm, the deva realm—Tushita.
The positive imprint left on the mind means in the near future you will not only be born as a human being, but will meet the Dharma, and actually understand its meaning. This enables you to have realizations. Realizations eliminate all the defilements—gross and subtle—and then you are able to achieve enlightenment and enlighten and liberate countless sentient beings from oceans of sufferings. All of this can come from having a positive imprint. It makes it possible to meet Dharma again and to be able to understand the meaning much more easily the next time. Just by listening to Dharma, you receive vast benefits.
When you practice your sadhana and read Dharma books, it is exactly the same. Even if you don’t understand them, as long as they are the unmistaken teachings of Lord Buddha, it is the same. If you don’t practice your sadhana, then you lose that opportunity to leave an imprint on your mind and to plant a seed in your mind. Then, in the future, you don’t get to achieve enlightenment. Even if one doesn’t have time to meditate, just reading with mindfulness leaves incredibly positive imprints each time. Each time you read the sadhana, because there are so many practices included in it, it leaves incredible imprints. The sadhana is tantric practice, which enables you to achieve enlightenment in one life, whereas with the sutra path it takes three great eons of future lives to achieve enlightenment.
These higher tantric practices are more powerful than lower tantra. Each time you practice the sadhana it plants a seed of the tantric path and is the quickest preparation for your future enlightenment. You can see this is incredible. The time it takes to do is nothing. You can see how important it is. It is the quick way to get out of samsara. We spend so much time eating food, drinking, and doing so many other things, but the most important thing is Dharma practice, especially highest tantra, which is so precious. It enables you to be free from samsara and all the objects of samsaric suffering and their causes as quickly as possible. Then you can free other sentient beings as quickly as possible.
So, actually, we should spend most of our time on Dharma because it is most precious, but we spend very little time on it. If you stop practicing, it takes so much longer to achieve enlightenment, and you have to spend longer suffering in samsara. Also, it is so difficult to meet the Buddha, Dharma, and Sangha in this life; it is extremely rare.
If you do not practice while you have the opportunity, then in the future it won’t be possible to practice. This life is our only chance to practice Dharma—it’s the only chance to make prayers and have pure realizations. Therefore, there is something to achieve in this life—to have pure realizations of the path. There is so much to actualize in our life.
Even if one doesn’t become enlightened or become an arya bodhisattva, still you are constantly leaving imprints to have realizations. The conclusion is there is nothing in life that is more important than Dharma practice. Even reading words of the Dharma is good to do. If you stop even reciting words, then there is no opportunity at all to leave a positive imprint. The conclusion is you have to suffer, without end, again and again, in the lower realms. Then you can’t liberate other sentient beings; you can’t even liberate one sentient being. That is very sad and you have lost the purpose of your life; you miss out on this chance.
Then, suddenly, when death comes, you realize that you are going to die, and you are very, very sad. Your life is full of regret. Instead of rejoicing in how many practices you have done there is so much dissatisfaction. When people die who never miss practicing their sadhanas, there is nothing to worry about, there is no problem, there is no fear. Their deity takes them to the pure land; it is definite.
So, spend more time meditating on your main deity, put more time into it, to leave a positive imprint, and to become closer to your deity’s enlightenment. If you have commitments for other deities then you can do a very short version of the sadhana.
There are two practices that I normally advise people to do: one is Medicine Buddha. I advise chanting one mala of Medicine Buddha mantra. Then, if possible, recite Medicine Buddha’s names seven times. If that is not possible, then just them say a few times. Medicine Buddha practice is for success. All your wishes are fulfilled. Whatever you have prayed for in the past you will receive. It is so important.
The other practice is Chenrezig. The other very important mantra is Chenrezig mantra: OM MANI PADME HUM. You should recite one mala of OM MANI PADME HUM, if possible two. The Compassion Buddha is to help you develop bodhicitta. Without bodhicitta you cannot achieve enlightenment and enlighten other sentient beings.
Also, it is very important that you practice guru yoga every day. Guru yoga practice is mind training: looking at the guru as oneness with all the buddhas. By using the quotations and logic that are explained in the teachings, you are trying to see the Buddha. By looking at the Buddha, then you see the guru. Then, through having devotion and seeing the guru as Buddha, that causes you to receive the blessings of the Buddha. You have the guru in your heart, then you receive blessings, and realizations come.
The next important thing is to read lamrim prayers. By reading the lamrim prayers you leave imprints on your mind of the whole path to enlightenment. You plant seeds of the whole path, and all the realizations. That makes you come closer to realizations, to enlightenment, and to enlightening all mother sentient beings. By reading the lamrim each day you get closer to enlightenment and enlightening all sentient beings. Also, it is very good to recite Vajrasattva mantra 28 or 21 times before you go to bed.
Sometimes, when all the thoughts and excuses to not practice come, it is spirits causing you not to practice or causing negative thoughts to arise to stop you practicing. You are trying to practice, to be pure, to live in morality, then spirits cause attachment to arise, that causes you to break your vows, or not take vows. Whatever happiness you are trying to achieve, many obstacles come. So, you have to be very careful. There are many obstacles that can arise that don’t allow you to achieve liberation or future enlightenment. You have to be wise, have strength and courage, and be able to judge so that you can carry on with your practice.
You have this precious human body, so this is the best time to practice Dharma. So you must! Also, you are not sure what will come first, tomorrow or your next life, you never know when you will die.