Having a Child with Physical Disabilities

My very dear one,
Both of you should think of the situation many other children are in. Many have great difficulties and are impaired in many serious ways. So many families have to experience more difficult situations than yours. My point is you should not think you are the only ones in this situation. Take some time and contemplate that many other parents are in a more difficult situation.

I am going to try and help you as to how to think about and relate to your situation. You should be very grateful to Buddha or God. Think, "Buddha or God gave me this small child to look after and to help me develop my spiritual practice, to purify heavy negative karma that I have created in the past. This is Buddha's gift, helping me to be free from my oceans of negative karmas, and this is Buddha’s gift for me to develop my practice and to develop full enlightenment and peerless happiness."

Think that your child is cherished by countless buddhas and holy beings—bodhisattvas. So many bodhisattvas collect vast amounts of merit in every second and actualize the path for the benefit of every single being, including your child. So many buddhas competed the two types of merit and actualized the two kayas (two buddha bodies) for the benefit of all beings, including your child. There are so many buddhas and bodhisattvas, including Guru Shakyamuni Buddha, who sacrificed his life for three countless great eons, and gave up his family and wealth when he was king; the whole point was to actualize the two types merit for all sentient beings, which includes your child. Like that, there are so many buddhas, and all of them achieved enlightenment to benefit all sentient beings, which includes your child.

Therefore, every day when you offer service to your child, this is the best offering to all the buddhas; this is the best puja for all the buddhas. This is the most pleasing offering to all the buddhas and bodhisattvas. You both should offer service to your child with this awareness and on the basis of this. In this way, your child makes your life so meaningful, gives you a lot of satisfaction, and makes your life so fulfilling. In your heart you should have the wish to benefit all sentient beings, to bring them to liberation and enlightenment, to be able to enlighten countless sentient beings from samsaric suffering and bring them to full enlightenment.

Of course, this doesn’t mean you should not try different treatments for your child, I am not saying that, there are many different methods to try to heal: traditional and alternative, and there are many different kinds of healers, not just in hospitals. So, in the meantime, you can look for different methods, see if there is anything that can help her. This way you can feel that you have tried everything.

I am very happy to hear that you are both thinking of accepting the situation, that is very important, because your child was born to you in this life, in this way, due to past karma, both your karma and the child’s karma. Karma is not inherently existent, but is formed by wrong actions created by the mind in past lives; usually they are performed without your knowing the result that you are creating. Maybe the action was performed to try to achieve happiness at that time, but it was performed with a selfish mind, a mind of ignorance, attachment, and anger. Because of this attitude it became a negative karma and the result was suffering, maybe to be born like this.

So, your child being born to you comes from karma on both sides. But this karma is not forever, it doesn’t last long, it is a very temporary situation. You shouldn’t think it is forever, because when death comes, your life is like dream, it’s gone, all your plans for the future are gone. It is good to remember this now because it helps you realize that this current situation, this life, having this child, could end at any minute.

This is a very broad way of thinking, a positive way of thinking. Your child is also a teaching for you by showing this aspect, being born like this. If we don't practice Dharma and abandon negative karma, then we can all be born like this in the future. Your child is telling all of us that.

With much love and prayers...