The Good Heart

Rinpoche: What is the meaning of loving oneself? Can you explain it to me? What does it means for people, especially for the Western outside people? What does it mean for you, particularly?

Student: There are a lot of Westerners who meet and practice Dharma but somehow, they do not always have a healthy ego, a sense of self. Somehow, they still have a kind of low self-esteem, which means a kind of self-hatred. Sometimes even after meeting and practicing Dharma for some years, they are not able to see that in themselves and heal that. I think sometimes they also need a psychologist or something else and work with that to bring some more basic happiness, a healthier ego. I also had low self-esteem when I met Dharma but I often tell people that doing my ngondro (preliminary) practices as you gave them and following your advice healed all that. However, many people don't want to do that.

Rinpoche: My question is, to love yourself, does that mean you do everything that your ego wants and desires? Generally, people think like that, but that makes only you happy. Do you see what I mean? Now do you understand? This is what common people think. Just the idea.

Student: Yes, it can be that but I think it can also be just recognizing our negative states of mind and cultivating positive ones, such as gratefulness, love and kindness. There is nothing about liberation and enlightenment in this kind of teaching as I see it, but just basic human psychology and some simple Dharma teaching on how to be a happier person, a happier ego.

Rinpoche: Generally, people’s idea is to follow what the ego wants and to get everything the ego wants, you see, then that leads to the greatest mountain of problems or skies of problems. Now the next one, even thinking about holy Dharma, supporting the self-cherishing thought, then the highest we can achieve is only nirvana, arhatship, and we never enter the Mahayana path. Following the self-cherishing thought is completely the enemy of achieving full enlightenment.

Cherishing others, at least practicing bodhicitta, is the best way to love yourself, otherwise you always create problems for yourself. This my way of thinking.

We need to do whatever we can to help others in our daily life—not only helping people but also non-human beings, including those that we can see, such as animals, and even those beings we can't see now. This brings so much happiness and success in our life, and whatever we have in mind can be actualized or even more than our mind can think of. Any benefit that we offer others and each action that we do for others results in happiness and success for five hundred lifetimes.

It's very silly only to think about the happiness of this life. That is not correct, because thinking only about this life makes everything we do become negative karma, the cause of suffering in the lower realms and the cause of problems in this life. It is the cause of so much suffering—wow, wow, wow, wow, wow! It causes so much suffering for a hundred thousand, ten thousand million billion [eons.] The suffering goes on and on.

What is happening in this life—how much suffering or happiness we experience in this life—is basically due to creating the causes in our past lives. In this life we are responsible for the happiness of all our future lives, especially ultimate happiness, the blissful state forever, the peerless happiness of buddhahood.

The Buddha said:

Any sentient being who, during the period of my teachings,
Makes charity well (even if the material is the size of a hair),
For 80,000 eons there will be great results of great enjoyment:
No pain, no disease and enjoyment of happiness.
Like that, one will be enriched with the desirable things.
At the end, you can actually achieve the result: the peerless cessation and completion (enlightenment).

Please talk to your friends, educated people and many others in the world about this, however, if they like suffering and do not want any happiness at all, that is totally different—you don't need to tell them about this. 

If possible, we should think about the happiness and suffering of others. If possible, we should do that from the heart. Of course, this is the main way or the best way to fulfill our life. Not only do we have satisfaction in our heart, but our life becomes most beneficial to others. If our actions are done with bodhicitta, then they become most beneficial for every sentient being in each realm. Especially, whatever we do with bodhicitta can cause everyone to achieve enlightenment.

This is how to make our life most happy and we will have no regrets when we die. Our mind will be very happy even when we are experiencing death. We can experience death for other sentient beings—that is the best way of dying. We can take the deaths of all sentient beings on ourselves or in our heart, and boom—the self-cherishing thought and the ignorance that holds the I and the aggregates as truly existent [are destroyed.] Then think that the sentient beings can achieve the dharmakaya.

If we know Dharma, that's a most unbelievable chance to create good karma, the unmistaken cause of happiness. This includes happiness in this life and all future lives, the happiness of the blissful state and especially the peerless happiness for all sentient beings.

People living in the world do not know about Dharma, Buddhadharma, and how it is most important to learn, reflect and meditate on this to actualize the path in their hearts. It's very important even for those people who do not believe in reincarnation and karma to practice the good heart, since they want happiness and do not want suffering.

If we practice the good heart and benefit others, everybody will love to help us. Then everywhere we go, we will make others very happy. In reality we are bringing happiness for this life and all our future lives, and we are also making other people in the world happy.

Please make this into a paper to give to people. This is your best present. Thank you.

With much love and prayers ...

My dear, most kind, most precious, wish-fulfilling one,
How is your job in the clinic? Buddhism mentions taking care of sick people, giving them medicine and whatever they need. This is the cause for others to have a long life and as a result you will have a long and healthy life, not only now, but for hundreds of thousands of lives. It continues for millions of lives.

Actions such as taking care of sick people, giving them food and medicine and so forth, helping them with a good heart; also helping people who are suicidal, helping them to be free of suicidal thoughts; or saving animals who are going to be killed by buying them and liberating them; these actions are the cause of long life. Also liberating animals from the dangers of being killed has the effect of being healthy and having a long life.

It’s most important to do things with a good heart and to think that our purpose is to serve others, to free them from suffering and problems, and to bring them all the happiness. If you can think like this, it creates the cause of temporary happiness and ultimate happiness, liberation from samsara and ultimate happiness—the total cessation of all the obscurations and completion of all the realizations. Think that the purpose of our life is to serve sentient beings. We are the servants, not only of people, but even insects, animals and so forth.

We receive all our happiness from other sentient beings and have done so numberless times from beginningless time until now. We will experience this in the future, up to buddhahood, therefore they are the most kind, most precious, most dear, wish-fulfilling ones.

Also Buddha, Dharma and Sangha came from sentient beings. By relying on Buddha, Dharma and Sangha, we will become free from rebirth in the hell realms, hungry ghost and animal realms, we will become free from samsara, free from lower nirvana, and we will achieve everlasting happiness, peerless happiness, buddhahood, the total cessation of all the obscurations and completion of all the realizations. This happens by relying on Buddha, Dharma and Sangha, and that comes from every single sentient being—every hell being, hungry ghost, animal, human, sura and asura being. They have been our mother numberless times from beginningless rebirth.

This year's mind came from last year’s mind, this life's mind came from our past life’s mind and that mind came from the previous life's mind and so it continues, from the one before. It goes on and this is how mind is without beginning. Similarly, our ignorance, anger and attachment, all the delusions, have no beginning. That’s why we say [the continuity of the delusions] has no beginning, but it has an end. It can end by practicing Dharma, by actualizing the path, then we can end the suffering of samsara.

Therefore every sentient being has been our mother numberless times and has been kind in four ways. Our mother gave us our body, especially this human body, so that we can learn and actualize Dharma, and we can become free from samsara. Our mothers have been kind from beginningless rebirth, by protecting our life from many hundreds of dangers every day. We have been protected by the mother. Our mother endured many hardships, day and night, even giving birth to us. She endured many hardships day and night for us. Lastly, our mother gave us education. Thus our mother has been very kind from beginningless rebirths, numberless times.

Similarly, regarding this life's mother, it is not the first time she has been our mother. We have had different bodies numberless times, so she has been our mother numberless times from beginningless rebirth. It’s the same for everyone. In Buddhism it says everyone has been our mother numberless times, therefore they are most kind, most precious, most dear, wish-fulfilling.

Think, “I am here to serve others who are my mother, in order to free them from suffering and bring them happiness.” That’s how to live our life. That’s the happiest, most beneficial, most meaningful life, if we can think like this about every sentient being.

I am sending you this motivational card with advice from His Holiness the Dalai Lama about having a positive motivation and about the purpose of our life. It’s very good if you can think about this every morning when you wake up. It’s very good for you to achieve peerless happiness, the total cessation of all the obscurations and completion of all the realizations.

Please give my regards to your parents. Give them my prayers, with much love and prayers to them and to you. Thank you very much, I hope to see you soon.

Now I am leaving for Kopan Monastery in Nepal for the Tibetan New Year and also for the enthronement of the ex-abbot of Kopan Monastery and Kopan Nunnery. He passed away from cancer and now has reincarnated back. His Holiness the Dalai Lama has recognized the new incarnation and I am going there for the enthronement.

I hope to see you soon. If there is anything I can help with, please let me know,

With much love and prayers ...

My most dear Jessica,
I was happy to meet you and have a talk, to come to know you little by little. You are a very sincere person trying to make your human life as beneficial as possible for other sentient beings. That is the most important goal of life.

If we always do that every day, just in our normal life, when we are eating, sleeping, walking or talking—if everything we do is for others, for the numberless sentient beings—WOW! What happiness, joy, the best life! It gives meaning to everything we do, even going to the toilet. Can you imagine!

Then, when we do traditional practice, sadhanas, prostrations, offerings or any other practice, even retreat, for sure it becomes for other numberless sentient beings. This is the most meaningful, happiest life, bringing the quickest enlightenment in this life.

It comes out very good, best if you can do shi-nä retreat. That doesn’t mean right now, just that you need to study the shi-nä text. For that retreat, you need to choose the place, which has to be checked. Study the clear explanation of shi-nä in Liberation in the Palm of Your Hand. There may be other texts also.

With much love and prayers...

What you are doing here is the most important work in the world. In your life, the most important work is to help others with a good heart, with love and compassion.

Helping others is the most important thing—more than anything else. All your wishes for any happiness will succeed. All good things will come to you because of that.

Every action with a positive or negative mind has consequences as a result. Actions done with a good heart—without anger, without ignorance, without desire, without attachment— result in happiness. Happiness comes from good actions.

Other beings need our help so much. It is best to think of others’ happiness. By doing good things for others—if we help others with a good heart, love and compassion—this results in happiness.

Making others physically and mentally happy, this one act makes both you and others happy for all your future lives. This brings happiness to the whole world.

My dear Janine,
Meditate on the shortcomings of the self-cherishing thought, as explained in the lamrim (Liberation in the Palm of Your Hand, the Lamrim Chenmo, and the Wheel of Sharp Weapons.)

Watch the mind in everyday life, how it causes obstacles, not allowing your actions to become the cause of enlightenment. Not only that, but it doesn’t allow your actions to become the cause of liberation from samsara, not allowing you to become the cause of happiness in future lives.

This means it becomes only non-virtuous negative karma, which causes only suffering.

The other part, which is very IMPORTANT, is to meditate on the kindness of sentient beings, who are extensive, are like a mother to us, and kind (the seven-fold instruction of cause and effect).

Try to realize how these beings are so incredibly precious. The more you realize this, the more your attitude to sentient beings will be caring and cherishing. Then, the action of working for others will come naturally.

Doing Vajrasattva retreat at Kopan comes out best for you.

With much love and prayer...