General Advice for Sangha

My most dear, most kind, most precious, wish-fulfilling one,
It’s so important to have compassion and bodhicitta for sentient beings and to be free of the eight worldly dharmas, to be free from attachment to this life, to food, clothing and reputation (this is the most difficult one). The eight worldly dharmas are to dislike not receiving happiness, not having pleasure, to feel discomfort or dislike for a bad reputation and uninteresting things, and to not receiving gifts, like at the birthday time. Then to have attachment to this life, to interesting things, to praise and [a good reputation], to these things.

So how to be free from that is by doing much meditation on impermanence and death, as well as on the eight freedoms and ten richnesses. Each has a benefit and contributes to developing in this life the three great meanings.

Thus each month, each day, each hour, each minute becomes meaningful, we are able to see that we can achieve the three great meanings, that this life is highly meaningful, it doesn’t last long and it’s difficult to get again.

Also, in relation to meditating on impermanence and death, we need to do the nine-round meditation on death: that death is definite, the time of death is uncertain and nothing helps at the time of death except Dharma. Separating from materials, from friends and from this body—these three don’t help. Only Dharma helps at the time of death, in order to be free from the lower realms and to get a perfect human rebirth again, to not fall into the lower nirvana and to attain enlightenment. Nothing else is important, so we have to let go in order to practice Dharma.

With the realization of impermanence we can do this—not just listening, reflecting and meditating, but having this realization all the time, when we are walking, eating, sleeping, etc., then every action becomes pure Dharma.

For us ordinary beings, we think the topics in the lamrim of compassion and bodhicitta are good, but without realization of impermanence and death, renunciation, without giving up attachment, we can’t have those other realizations. We also have more problems, and we tend to follow worldly people which means working with attachment to this life. Then we start to think that to give this up, it seems like being in prison. Our vows become like being in prison and we want to give them up, thinking they are bad. There is no freedom from samsara but we think it is freedom. It’s what we call freedom, but instead we are born in the lower realms, in samara or lower nirvana, and we are not free from that. Being reborn in the lower realms and in samsara, that is what we call free.

So in this way the mind has lost interest in the benefits of this life. We don’t feel it and it just becomes words and then what we think is freedom is totally wrong freedom, it is the prison of samsara forever. Therefore meditation on impermanence is very important.

From the eight worldly dharmas, attachment arises easily and very strongly, and we easily lose our vows. We think that the other person who we are attached to is fantastic. Then our vows are finished anytime. We think this person we are attached to is mind-blowing. We want to have sex immediately and we think that this is the best way. In this way, our life as an ordained person is finished. Then after everything is finished we think, “Ah, I shouldn’t have done that.”

We think it’s a good thing for the self-cherishing mind and attachment and the I, but then our life becomes worse with a boyfriend or girlfriend. Sooner or later they don’t love us or they love others, then we hate that person and then we really suffer or even commit suicide. We don’t think about karma or we think that suicide means no more problems, but then there are the lower realms and suffering. Because we make the problem so big, or if it is a spirit harming who made us do that, and then it is so easy to commit suicide.

When the person we decide to be with leaves us, then what? We never think far into the future, only now. That’s attachment and the self-cherishing thought.

So impermanence and death meditation is very important. It protects us from suffering in samsara in general, from negative karma and from suffering of the lower realms. So you need to continue this meditation, not just for one month. Then you need to develop the three principal aspects of the path and then to practice tantra.

So for you, stay with Geshe-la if you can, then there will be less distraction. Then you can go better and better to enlightenment for all sentient beings. That’s how you can use your life for sentient beings.

With much love and prayers ...

My most dear, most kind, most precious, wish-fulfilling one,
Thank you very much for your kind letter expressing all your thoughts to me. As you expressed to me, of course I am responsible for helping you and guiding you in whatever way I can.

You expressed your thoughts about other things, but one thing was the thought of sex arising in your mind.

One way to think about sex—when sexual thoughts arise—is by looking at it as the cause of samsara or in the nature of suffering. [Attachment] is the cause of oceans of suffering in samsara. We look at the suffering as pleasure; we don’t see it as suffering. We look at it as just pleasure, real pleasure. There are two different ways of looking at it, so in this case we can look at the attachment to sexual pleasure.

As you know, the teachings on emptiness talk about the ultimate truth of the I. There is no real I. We can check what has been appearing and what we have believed is real from beginningless rebirths. Due to that [wrong concept] there is so much suffering. There are oceans of suffering of the six realms from beginningless rebirths.

Still the I appears as real, but it is merely imputed by the mind. The five aggregates that we have now appear as real, but the opposite is true—what we have is merely labeled. The aggregates appear real, but that is totally opposite to the truth. We believe that one hundred percent and then we suffer again in the oceans of the six realms’ suffering without end.

In reality when we check or examine this, the real I is not there. The real I appears to us and we have believed in that one hundred percent from beginningless rebirths up to now, but we can’t find it from the tip of the hairs down to the toes, neither inside nor outside, not even on the aggregates.

The mind which is attached to sex and so forth is only a wrong concept, that which believes in the real I, but in reality that real I is not there. The omniscient one, the Buddha cannot see it and even arya bodhisattvas cannot see it. They directly see that the real I is totally empty. They cannot see the real I. They see that it is totally nonexistent and what exists is merely labeled by our own mind and exists in mere name.

That mind which realizes that the I exists in mere name and is merely labeled by the mind; that most subtle mind seeing the I like that does not get attached to sex. Only the wrong concept, ignorance, does.

What is merely imputed by the mind appears as the real I and then we believe it exists, that it is true, that it is the real I. We believe that is the real I—that the merely labeled I is real. So the I appears as the real I and then we believe in that. We think it is one hundred percent the real I.

Due to that concept, even though sexual pleasure is merely imputed by the mind, it appears as pleasure and we believe it is pleasure. Then attachment arises on the basis of the king of our ignorance—the wrong concept, holding the I that appears as real. We hold that as real and then attachment arises because of ignorance.

If somebody interferes with the object of our attachment, then anger arises. The king of the delusions is ignorance, holding the I as real. In reality the I is merely imputed by the mind, but it doesn’t appear in that way and we don’t see it that way. That is a totally wrong view and due to that anger arises. So you can see clearly that attachment and anger come from the root, ignorance. Now you can see that very clearly.

It is a total hallucination. The objects of our anger and the objects of our attachment are a total hallucination. It is like watching TV or a movie and believing it is real. This is a very good meditation or analysis.

Lama Tsongkhapa explained in the Lamrim Chenmo, the great commentary on the lamrim:

Exaggerated by ignorance, we see things in that nature, as particularly beautiful and ugly.
Then anger, attachment and so forth arise.
The way of apprehending things using these wrong concepts can be eliminated by logic.

Also there is a quotation from the Four Hundred Stanzas:

Attachment and so forth arise because the nature of phenomena is exaggerated by ignorance.
The delusions arise especially by following and exaggerating what is beautiful and ugly.
Anger and attachment are no different from ignorance,
And they arise by depending on ignorance, which is the only principal.

There are more shortcomings [of attachment to samsaric pleasure.] Even if it is pleasure, it is not ultimate happiness. It is samsaric pleasure, therefore it is the suffering of change which is in the nature of suffering. So the pleasure is in the nature of suffering. The pleasure is only for short time, just a few seconds. Then as a result we have to experience the general sufferings of samsara, like the three types of suffering, the six types of suffering and so forth, and particularly the suffering of the lower realms.

You should reflect on that and remember that this is nothing new; there is nothing new in pleasure, for instance, we have had sexual pleasure with numberless sentient beings, with every sentient being, not just one time, but numberless times from beginningless rebirths. We have suffered and experienced the oceans of suffering of the six realms from beginningless time. If attachment to that is not renounced then we will have to suffer again without end. That is our future. That means when we are attached to sex we have to suffer without end.

For just a few seconds or minutes of pleasure; for one or two minutes of pleasure we give up liberation from samsara and nirvana for ourselves. We give up happiness forever—liberation from samsara and ultimate happiness forever, blissful peace forever. We also give up being able to liberate numberless sentient beings of the six realms from the oceans of samsaric suffering. We give that up for those few seconds or minutes of pleasure. And we give up buddhahood—the peerless happiness, the total cessation of mistakes and completion of realizations. This means we also give up every sentient being, the numberless sentient beings, for them to achieve the peerless happiness, the total cessation of all the obscurations and completion of all the realizations.

The last thing, as mentioned by the Buddha in the Sutra of One Hundred Actions [Tib: lä gya pa]:

It causes nonvirtue—to always to be accustomed to that and to be familiar and arise with that. (1)
Also in the future one relies on nonvirtue. (2)
And one engages in nonvirtue. (3)
And one follows nonvirtue. (4)

I added the numbers after each sentence. So this quotation is in regards to karma. This is what happens to our karma if we follow the attachment to sex.

The Buddha said that the karma continues all the time and expands, so it never ends and we suffer without end. We experience endless samsaric sufferings. As I mentioned before, that is a huge thing, what the Buddha said, that even this karma ties us to samsara and creates continual suffering.

There is another explanation to understand [sexual pleasure] from the side of tantra.

Males and females both have white bodhicitta. If white bodhicitta comes out it is like blood from the dakinis’ heart coming out. They are not happy and feel extremely great loss if we cannot control the white bodhicitta.

It is said that white bodhicitta is the basis of bliss. The dakinis cherish our great bliss the most—more than their own heart’s blood; more than themselves. If great bliss is generated it cuts the gross and subtle all-conceptual mind. The result is achieving the three kayas by attaining the illusory body.

If we just practice Mahayana sutra without tantra it takes three countless great eons to achieve enlightenment and to finish collecting merit for that. Tantra has four levels: Kriya Tantra, Charya Tantra, Anuttara Yoga Tantra and Maha-anuttara Yoga Tantra. The illusory body is attained through the practice of Highest Yoga Tantra.

According to Maha-anuttara Yoga Tantra we can achieve enlightenment in one lifetime. The method is by attaining the illusory body, thus finishing our negative karma and creating all the merit in one life. This is what we need to do to achieve the three kayas.

So you can see [having no control of white bodhicitta] becomes an obstacle for this to happen, therefore the dakinis are displeased, not happy. You have to know this is what cheats you. It is an old habit from beginningless rebirth. It is one old habit that we have been habituated with from beginningless rebirth, under the control of attachment.

In tantra there is a need for attachment to develop bliss but here it is done totally with attachment. The wisdom of great bliss cannot realize emptiness if you can’t control the white bodhicitta but lose it. This becomes an obstacle for both males and females. This is from the side of tantra, for you to understand.

If you have anything else, please write to me and when I have time, I will try to answer you. I am sorry this took quite a long time, but as I have time, I will write to you.

With much love and prayers ...

My dear one,
Thank you very much for helping to bring these people into the Dharma and to enlightenment, and in general for benefiting sentient beings. Also in the past you were trying to benefit others so much. Thank you very much for all your good actions of body speech and mind; your virtuous actions benefiting sentient beings.

Here there are some important corrections to being a good person, to bring happiness to all sentient beings and not harm them, and to be a good Dharma practitioner. The Buddha taught on the three levels [of the path] to not develop pride or arrogance and to respect others; for oneself to be humble and to serve others. Oneself should be the servant to all.

Just as we respect the buddhas, then why not respect all sentient beings? Even those who have no knowledge, those who haven’t gone to school, those who know nothing, it is still very important to respect them and to be humble. All our past, present and future happiness came from all sentient beings, therefore they are the real object to be respected and they need to be served.

It is said in the teachings that if we follow pride it is as if our bowl is upside down, therefore nothing stays in it. It is said that we usually have mountains [of pride] and there is no flatness, thus no qualities of the human being stay; no Dharma qualities can abide. When we are full of pride, we don’t receive any benefits or qualities, especially Dharma, particularly good conduct and character. Also the teachings mention the shortcomings of pride. As a result we are born into slavery and poverty as a person who can’t do much in this life.

Also in the Bodhicaryavatara [Ch. 8, v. 125] it says in more detail the mistakes of the self-cherishing thought: “If I give this to others, what am I going to use for myself?” Thinking of the I is a very ungenerous thought.

The Dharma king of Tibet [Lha Lhama Yeshe Ö] is a great example of this. To eliminate the issues that were obstacles for Dharma in Tibet he invited the great Atisha to come there. The Dharma king went to India to find gold to offer Atisha—you know the story—and later he died in prison, thus he gave up his life to benefit others. It was a very pure offering to benefit others.

Another example is the medicine and food you give to others, even if there is not enough for yourself, don’t hesitate to give to others.

All the happiness of the world comes from cherishing others,
And all the sufferings come from desiring happiness only for oneself.
     - Bodhicaryavatara, Ch. 8, v. 129

Cherishing the I more than others is the basis from which all the suffering arises. So this is one paragraph, then in the Eight Verses it says,

When in the company of others,
I shall always consider myself the lowest of all,
And from the depths of my heart
Hold others dear and supreme.

First of all this means treating everyone the same—even monks or lay people, or those who don’t know Dharma, anybody. You can’t disrespect them or look at them as low. According to Mahayana practice, you must treat them as high or supreme. You never know who can be a buddha, so you should respect everyone. There is a teaching where you look at sentient beings as buddhas. I did see this text. By looking at them as buddhas, then you get the benefit of doing exactly as if they were buddhas, so you collect inconceivable merits. Even animals can be buddhas; you can’t tell.

We see His Holiness the Dalai Lama as getting sick and so forth, but that doesn’t mean he isn’t a buddha. We cannot use that reason to say he is not a buddha. His Holiness the Dalai Lama was predicted by the Buddha, Meaningful to Behold.

Gelong Lekpai Karma served the Buddha for 22 years, but during that time Lekpai Karma never saw him as Buddha; he only saw him as a liar. From the Buddha’s side, he was already enlightened eons ago, but the Buddha only appeared to Lekpai Karma as a liar. When the Buddha went to receive alms, one girl offered him a bowl of food and the Buddha predicted she would be enlightened. Lekpai Karma thought the Buddha was just flattering her; he thought the Buddha lied to her. He had more faith in his Hindu guru. He told the Buddha this guru was sick but he misunderstood what the Buddha told him, then the Hindu guru died. The Hindu guru was reborn as some kind of preta making noise.

So while the geshe, who has completely finished his study, is present, when he is giving blessing you should not do any kind of activity like blessing with the hand or even accepting respect from others. It is said in the tantric vows that you can’t do this in front of the guru; you can’t give blessing. So I don’t do that. I don’t let them pay respect to me in front of the guru. You cannot give blessing while he does, unless he asks you to. It becomes strange. It’s like you are asking people to pay respect.

Thank you very, very, very much.

Lama Zopa

One other thing is that if there is an elder monk who can give refuge, then you don’t need to give. In certain places where there are no other monks, then it is permissible. Otherwise if there are no other teachers or elder monks, and students from their side want to take refuge from you, and they request you, then it’s OK, but not that you ask them. 

So sincerely respect the older monks, as it is advised in the vows in the vinaya [monastic rules]. Accepting prostrations from younger Sangha is OK, but you should offer prostrations to those who are older than you and in that way you earn merit. In the future lives, for thousands of lifetimes in the future, you will be respected. Like those high lamas, like the king, everyone will serve you. The result will be that you are respected for thousands and thousands of lifetimes.

My very dear one,
Please wear this very short zen. It doesn’t mean you are going to get shorter, not at all! Don’t misunderstand. HA HA HA. Maybe [wear the zen] when you do prostrations and any other time you like. Maybe when you go to bed!

With much love and prayers...

Rinpoche: One time in Varanasi, when Kyabje Trijang Rinpoche was teaching Liberation in the Palm of Your Hand from his notes, I was invited to his room and asked to scratch his back. I did it just a little. I thought, what unbelievable fortune I had, that he gave me that opportunity to accumulate enormous merit through that action. Hence, perhaps now, today, that is why I have to scratch my back.

Nun: Rinpoche, if that created so much merit, why is the result an itchy back that needs scratching?

Rinpoche: It was incredible purification to do that action. The result now is from that opportunity to create the cause to purify.

My very dear one,
I was very happy to receive your kind letter.

That is very important, what you discovered during retreat, discovering one’s own life, one’s own mind—that is the benefit of retreat. By doing retreat one can discover the mistakes in one’s mind and then they can be changed, that is how realizations come.

It is just like with a seed, having soil, water, and worms, then with all the conditions, slowly a stem comes out, and after some time then the flowers and fruit. The flowers and the fruit are like the discovery, the foundation is like the clearing of the ground before you plant crops.

Don't worry about the money that has been offered to you. It belongs to you and the important thing is when you give teachings to not have the motivation or expectation of money offerings, to not think about that, to not think like it is a business. It is very important to not think of money offerings at all. If the thought comes about money you should abandon it, kick it out, like in football, soccer, or cricket. When I say cricket I don't mean you have to run and catch the thought, don't misunderstand me. You shouldn't kick the thought out and then run after it and catch it.

I saw on TV a man run so far to catch a ball that he went over the wall and his head hit the ground. So, this tells you that instead of doing meditation I have been watching TV. I am giving you this information because you didn't have TV in your retreat, except the TV in your mind, that was showing karma and many things. So, if that thought enters then it will be like doing business.

You can use the money to build a retreat cabin, or for traveling to teachings. You can do whatever you want with the money. Or you can use it to eat chocolate ice cream. You can eat half and leave the other half for another person... I'm just teasing. Or you can divide the chocolate ice cream into four, so one is for me, one for your friend, one for your enemy, and the fourth is for you.

It is extremely good to do retreat again and again. The fact that you have the desire to do long retreat means usually that what you did is effective. If your mind gets bored or isn’t interested in doing long retreat then it means the retreat hasn't been very good.

We can discuss what to do later. For now, travel around giving teachings for a while, then we can discuss again. Also, sometimes the answer might come out in your heart.

With much love and prayers...