Difficulties Meditating

Dear one,
Thank you for your kind letter. Sorry you have difficulties when you meditate. Sorry you have these interferences. When you experience these think that the past negative karma of harming others or holy beings has ripened as obstacles to meditation in this life, interfering with Dharma practice and meditation.

You can think this is good, because it is purifying past negative karma. In the Guru Puja, composed by Panchen Losang Chokyi Gyeltsen, Verse 96 says:  

“Please grant me blessings. Even if the container, this world, and the contained sentient beings fill up with the result of negative karma and rainfalls of undesirable sufferings are happening, may I be able to see that as finishing the cause of undesirable suffering and be able to use the unfavorable condition on the path to enlightenment.”

Use this not only for this problem, but for any other problem in this life. The minute you have problems think like this.

Whether it’s a problem or not has to do with concepts, your way of thinking. For some people the same experience is very positive, happy thing, but for other people, the same experience becomes a problem and the worst thing in life. So, it depends whether you put a negative or positive label or interpretation on it.

My essential advice is to use this problem for this very special, powerful bodhicitta practice of exchanging self for others. It involves taking sufferings and the causes of sufferings of others on oneself, into one’s own heart, giving them to the ego, the self-cherishing thought that never allowed you to achieve enlightenment and liberate all sentient beings from the ocean of samsaric sufferings, as well to enlighten them. The self-cherishing thought is the thing that always tortures you, is the great demon abiding in your heart, and has tortured you from beginningless rebirths, and caused you to continuously experience all the suffering of samsara from beginningless rebirths. So, take on all the hell beings’ sufferings, the hungry ghosts’, the animals’, humans’, suras’, asuras’, and intermediate state beings’ sufferings, including every single problem of this life, even the unhappiness in dreams. Besides the failure to have realizations of the path and achieve liberation for oneself, take on any failure, lack of success and any comfort in this life, like instead of gaining praise you receive criticism, instead of receiving material goods, you don’t receive them, failure in business, and so forth.

You destroy this self-cherishing completely, so it doesn’t exist even in name, and give away one’s own body, possessions, all past, present, and future merits and their results, all temporary and ultimate happiness, liberation from samsara, and enlightenment. Make charity to all sentient beings, the numberless hell beings, hungry ghosts, animals, suras, asuras, and intermediate state beings. Then offer the pure land, which has all beauty, no suffering, only pure enjoyments, such as Amithaba pure land or any of the Buddha’s pure lands that you wish to reincarnate in. You can think of Maitreya Buddha’s pure land, Milarepa’s, Heruka’s, or Vajrayogini’s pure land, and so forth, where everything is wish-fulfilling; even the trees are wish-granting and wish fulfilling. Also, what you offer becomes transformed into the realization of the path to enlightenment in their hearts. They are not only liberated from their sufferings and the causes, but all their defilements are ceased and they become enlightened. Their minds become the dharmakaya and their bodies become the rupakaya. When you think of enlightenment, you can visualize it in that way. Then rejoice: “How wonderful it is that I have enlightened all sentient beings.”

This is the most important, beneficial meditation, the heart of the Mahayana teachings. Each time when you generate compassion for others and take on their sufferings, it purifies unimaginable negative karma, defilements, causes of sufferings, sicknesses, and so forth. Then each time when you give to others, you collect vast amounts of good karma, merits, and causes of happiness. When you offer your body and every possession you have to others, you collect vast amounts of merit, with all the resultant happiness up to enlightenment. Every time you do this practice of giving, you collect so much merit. Practice this taking and giving from time to time, and, most of the time, think: “I am experiencing this problem on behalf of all sentient beings” or think: “I am experiencing this problem for all sentient beings.” Because you take on the suffering and problems of all sentient beings, you purify inconceivable defilements and negative karma, create vast amounts of merit, and become closer to enlightenment each time.

According to my observations, you may have been affected by some black magic. It seemed this way according to the methods that came out as beneficial for you to use. So you should keep this substance called rue, which dispels and destroys others’ black magic substances. I will send you one.

You should practice Black Manjushri, which is an antidote to black magic. You should wear two other protections: the vajra armor protection and Black Manjushri protection. You should receive the blessing protection called kago.

It would be helpful to keep a special text by Padmasambhava in your house called Ser Wo Nada (The Golden Light Drum Sound). I can make a photocopy and send it to you.

At the moment these are my suggestions. A geshe can perform the kago for you. First, try all this advice. If, after having tried all these things, it is still happening, then request the geshe to perform the puja called Chay Grol.

With much love and prayer,

Lama Zopa Rinpoche