Confession to the Guru

My most dear, most precious, most kind, wish-granting one,
Thank you very much for your kind letter. Yes, you explained your life and difficulties. I advise that it’s a very small thing, and it can be totally changed from negative to positive. Because of the mind, there is nothing that can’t be changed.

Please listen to this story about the great yogi Milarepa, who became enlightened in one life, in a brief life of degenerate times, through tantric practice based on the common path. This common path is based on the three principal aspects of the path—renunciation, bodhicitta and right view—and the root of this is correctly following the virtuous friend.

According to Milarepa’s story, after his father died, his mother was badly treated by the aunt and uncle, who took all their wealth. Milarepa’s mother advised Milarepa to practice black magic, so he went to learn black magic. He made a hole in the ground, where he did the practice for seven days. Then rocks fell from the mountain onto the relatives’ house, where they were having a wedding party. Then all the people and the animals died. More animals died than people, because they were in the downstairs part of the house.

Milarepa felt sad after that and then his black magic lama advised him to see the guru Marpa. When Milarepa went to see the guru Marpa he didn’t have anything to offer, so he offered his body, speech and mind in order to receive teachings. Marpa accepted, but in order for Milarepa to be purified, Marpa didn’t gave him any teachings for years. If Milarepa came with other students to receive teachings and Marpa saw him there, then Milarepa would get kicked out. Marpa also beat Milarepa and only scolded him; he never gave him teachings for years.

Also, he advised Milarepa to build a nine-story tower three times. Milarepa had to make it by himself, without any help from anybody else. He built the first tower and then he was advised by Marpa to take away all the stones and return them to their original places. Then again, he had to build the tower and again take the stones back to their place. Then again, for the third time, he had to build the tower. In total he built this nine-story tower three times and he carried all the stones back to the original places twice.

The final tower still exists, but I haven’t seen it. On one pilgrimage to Tibet we came near to the place, but we didn’t see it as there was no time.

Marpa was an enlightened being, I think Heruka, but he appeared as a farmer, with his body covered in dust, He worked in the fields with his wife and appeared as an ordinary being.

After building the tower three times, Milarepa’s back became like an animal skin, and even bluish in color. So Marpa’s secret mother pushed Marpa to give teachings to Milarepa. He accepted and gave teachings and initiations. Marpa was a buddha, so he also manifested the mandala and did everything. Marpa actually wanted Milarepa to become enlightened more quickly, and through bearing more difficulties he could become enlightened quicker.

From this story of Milarepa you can see your own mistakes, the ones you believe you made, are nothing compared to what Milarepa did in his life. So your life can be positive, even if your life in the past was even more negative than it is now. It can be more positive in the future, so you should be happy about this.

It is said that all beings can become enlightened. Why? Because we have buddha nature. It’s not that we are enlightened, but the ultimate nature of mind is pure, even though we falsely apprehend [the I] as real, thinking its nature is truly existent, existing from its own side.

We believe this, but it’s a total hallucination. It doesn’t exist in that way at all. That mind is a false mind, but that doesn’t mean that the I doesn’t exist; it exists very subtly, by being merely labelled the mind. So it does not exist at all from the object’s side, but from the mind’s side. So, empty of existing from its own side as real, that is buddha nature. The mind is not oneness with anger; it is just temporarily obscured. The mind is not oneness with attachment; it’s just temporarily obscured. Also, the mind is not oneness with ignorance; it is temporarily obscured.

The ultimate nature of mind is totally pure. It is called buddha nature and because of that, all beings can become enlightened. Not all at one time but at different times. This means whatever suffering exists, we can be free of that. Of course there is a method to be free of that, and if we use the correct method, we can be free of any suffering, so we should feel great happiness for this.

It is said by the great bodhisattva Shantideva that if something can be mended; if it can be fixed or treated, then what is the use of worry. That means if there is a method, then just do it, instead of spending the life in worry.

Also, if something can’t be changed, for example, wanting the sky to be gold or wanting our house to be gold, if it can’t be managed, then there is no benefit in worrying about that. It’s better just to accept [our situation] and then to be happy, instead of worrying about something we can’t do.

This is great advice. In reality, ultimately, there is no difference between sentient beings and the buddhas. Conventionally, due to the all-obscuring mind, there is the Buddha, who is free of obscurations, but ultimately there is no difference.

So there is practice for you to do. My advice for you is to do Vajrasattva purification, to recite the long Vajrasattva mantra 400,000 times. You can do this in retreat with four sessions per day or even while you are working. During those times you can do some practice and count the mantras, and at other times you can do retreat of three months, one month or two months and in this way you will be able to finish it within a few years. It’s also good to read the commentaries on this practice.

One thing you should know is that life is very short, like lightning. When there is lightning you are able to see everything, then when the lightning is finished everything is gone. Death is like that—we see everything around us and then it is gone. It feels like this when we don’t have realizations. Without realizations like this, then death can happen anytime, and without realizations it seems like everything in life is a problem.

So there is Vajrasattva purification practice for you to do in order to lead you on the path to enlightenment. Then after you become enlightened you can free all sentient beings from suffering and bring them to enlightenment, like that.

You can bring every sentient being to enlightenment, to buddhahood, so you should be very happy to do Vajrasattva. Remember that you are doing this practice for every sentient being—every hell being, every hungry ghost, every animal, every ant, every mosquito, every one of the tiniest insects, everyone. Your retreat is for every human being, black, white, red, brown, whatever, for every sura being, every asura being. So you should be very happy, you should be the happiest. If your whole life is dedicated like that, then your life is for everyone, to bring them to happiness, to stop their suffering.

Also every day you should read the book by Khunu Lama Rinpoche Vast as the Heavens, Deep as the Sea: Verses in Praise of Bodhicitta. I hope in the future to give a commentary on this book, and if possible, you should try to get the commentary on this also. This text is from my guru, the great, great bodhisattva Khunu Lama Rinpoche. So please get this book. If you can’t get it or have difficulties finding it, let me know and I can have it sent to you.

You should try to read as much as you can each day and if possible, read the whole book. If that is too much, then read half or whatever you can manage, and continue on the next day.

If I have further advice, I will send it to you, but please start with this.

With much love and prayers ...

My most dear, most kind, most precious, wish-fulfilling one,
I’m very, very happy to receive your kind letter, and yes, I understand you have had many difficulties.

Regarding your observations, if it’s a correct [divination] then it’s OK, but if it comes out wrong many times, then it’s better not to do it. If you’re doing it for yourself maybe it’s OK, but if you’re doing it for others, it becomes very dangerous [if you’re wrong]. If it comes out bad then other people won’t like you, they’ll be angry to you and many problems will arise. Also, it becomes telling a lie.

You have to say, “According to my observation.” You have to say that. That means there can be a different observation by someone else. So you can say, “According to my observation it is like this.” This is correct. If you don’t say it like this and then your observation is not correct, it becomes telling a lie. Before you do [a divination] for other people it has to be correct, which means that it’s OK for them to do something; that it’s right for them. Or that they should not do it and it’s bad if they do it.

Regarding the difficulties, if we compare our lives to hell beings we have incredible peace and happiness, and no suffering at all.

I want to quote Nagarjuna’s teaching, Letter to a Friend:

[86] However much suffering there might be in this (world)
From being violently stabbed for a day with three hundred spears,
That doesn't even roughly (approach), it doesn't even match a fraction
Of the tiniest sufferings in the joyless realms.

[87] Even if you experience extremely unbearable sufferings like that
For hundreds of millions of years,
So long as your destructive force has not been depleted,
You'll not be parted from (that) life for that long.

When three hundred short spears are very heavily put through the body, there’s no need to say how painful that experience is, but there’s no comparison at all with even the smallest suffering of the hell realms. This means a small hell suffering is far beyond that. The hell being’s suffering is unbelievably, unbelievably, most unbelievably, unbelievably great, and, we experience the most unbearable suffering like that for eons—for ten million eons or hundreds of millions of eons.

The next verse, I don’t remember the exact words, but the meaning is that until we finish the cause of the suffering, the karma, we’ll be never separated from a life that is suffering. If we think well about this quotation, the highest and worst suffering of human beings, when it’s compared to a hell being’s suffering it is nothing and our lives are incredibly peaceful and happy. We have to know that. We have to compare and we have to think like that.

In this way we can enjoy our life. The kindness of sentient beings is one thing and there is also the kindness of the guru. All our happiness is a benefit of bodhicitta; it came from bodhicitta, therefore it came from sentient beings. You have to remember this.

It said by the great bodhisattva Shantideva:

[6: 42] Previously I must have caused similar harm
To other sentient beings.
Therefore it is right for this harm to be returned
To me who is the cause of injury to others.

If we didn’t harm others in the past, nobody would harm us. When someone gets angry just by seeing us—they dislike us as soon as they see us and harm our body, speech and mind—whatever suffering we experience is the result of giving harm to others in the past. The past could be in this life, it could be this morning or yesterday, very close, or it could be numberless eons ago.

It’s important to remember often that all the different sufferings are the result of our past negative karma. This reminds us to practice Dharma. In the past we didn’t practice Dharma; that’s why the negative karma was created and the result is happening now.

This reminds us to renounce negative karma, since we don’t like suffering. We want happiness; therefore we need to practice good karma. We come to that conclusion. Whatever suffering, difficulties, problems we’re experiencing, we should come to this point—we need to abandon the cause of suffering and practice the cause of happiness, virtue.

It also said in the Bodhicaryavatara by Shantideva:

[8:135] If I do not completely forsake it
I shall be unable to put an end to suffering,
Just as I cannot avoid being burnt
If I do not cast aside the fire (I hold).

As long as we don’t drop the fire, the burning cannot be stopped. That’s the example. If we don’t give up the I, the suffering cannot be stopped. Especially for us, [who think there is] the real I, the truly existent I that exists from its own side, that exists by itself, what’s called the real I in everyday life.

Those are the words from philosophy, from the text. So that’s the false I, actually. That means it’s most unbelievably worthwhile to give that up because it is false, it does not exist, even for that reason.

By believing that it is real, true, then all the delusions arise. Ignorance, anger, attachment and all the rest of the delusions arise. Then it motivates karma, then we experience suffering—the oceans of suffering of the hell beings, the oceans of suffering of the hungry ghosts, the oceans of suffering of the animals, the oceans of suffering of the humans, the oceans of suffering of the suras, the oceans of suffering of the asuras and the oceans of suffering of the intermediate state beings all arise. That’s what we have experienced from beginningless rebirth until now.

If we don’t realize emptiness, that the I is empty, it does not exist, we have to experience the oceans of suffering of each realm without end again. Not only that, this ignorance, this delusion, this self-cherishing thought—all our suffering came from that.

Misfortune, everything, all the harms to all sentient beings are caused by following this [self-cherishing] and the wrong concepts. Like this, we harm the numberless sentient beings, who have to suffer. They’ve been suffering since beginningless rebirths and they will have to suffer again unless [we abandon the self-cherishing thought.]

This self-cherishing thought, this ignorance is most unbelievably, unbelievably harmful, dangerous, our worst enemy. It’s something to be abandoned right away; we can’t wait for even one second. The reality is like that.

As Shantideva said in Bodhicaryavatara:

[8:136] Therefore, in order to allay the harms inflicted upon me
And in order to pacify the sufferings of others
I shall give myself up to others
And cherish them as I do my very self.

If we don’t renounce the I, our suffering cannot be stopped. In order to pacify our own suffering and the sufferings of others, we must give ourselves up for others and cherish others as we do ourselves. This is the basic practice, the most important practice in our life until we achieve enlightenment. And not only in this life, it’s also the most important practice in all our lives until we achieve enlightenment. If we want to achieve enlightenment and free the sentient beings from samsara and bring them to enlightenment by ourselves, this is what we should practice.

When you think of His Holiness and recite His Holiness’ name mantra with meditation, with understanding, think numberless buddhas are guiding you and other sentient beings through the manifestation of the holy body. His Holiness’s holy body is guiding you and sentient beings. So with one-pointed concentration on that, thinking of his skies of kindness, then recite the mantra. Next, from His Holiness light rays are emitted with compassion, purifying you. Think you receive all the realizations up to enlightenment.

When you think of me, think of the numberless buddhas guiding you through my form. You can think that they are bringing you from the lower realms, from samsara, and bringing you to enlightenment, from lower nirvana to enlightenment. Their kindness is like the sky; each kindness is like the sky. Think nectar is coming, with compassion, and is entering you, purifying all the defilements and negativities collected from beginningless rebirths up to now. These negativities are purified and at the end, you receive all the realizations. Think that.

I’m not saying that I’m an enlightened being or that I have realizations; I’m not saying that. It’s numberless buddhas who are guiding you through this form that you have the karmic connection or link with, so think like that. It’s the same as with His Holiness. With that meditation, you can recite my name mantra. That is great, great, great.

At the moment, until you have stable realizations, it will help to be able to see [the guru] in that way. This is the very essence of guru yoga meditation.

For the success of all your wishes for happiness, there are pujas, there are wealth vases, and there is the making of offering tormas for wealth-giving deities. There are many different deities and methods.

However, according to my experience, growing over many years, little by little, by making offerings to the gurus and helping sentient beings, through that, I’m able to give more and more help to the sentient beings who need help, and also to the monasteries and monks.

Sera Je Monastery has thousands of monks and I used to give food for many years. A food fund was created with five million dollars, and now they’re supposed to get money from that. [Read more about the Sera Je Food Fund here.] Besides that, I’ve been helping the khangtsens, the small sections of the monasteries, with building, making houses and so on. There are many, many projects. Also building monasteries, lay people’s projects and schools, Tibetan refugee old folks’ homes—there are many, many projects.

We recently bought several ambulances, and [provide help] in different places. At the Panchen Lama’s monastery of Tashi Lhunpo, the abbot came here and asked us for help, so we decided to offer toward their expenses each year and for their debating place. We have offered funds already [US$430,575 for the debate courtyard and US$36,412.50 for the library]. Then one Mongolian family gave $100,000 and said they will [give the rest] when their business develops.

Gyume Monastery is also making a food fund. It seems they need a million or two million dollars or more. They didn’t calculate, they didn’t inform us, but Roger and Ngawang Sangye, a monk who lived at Sera, calculated this, so we offered probably $400,000 and the rest is left [still to be fundraised].

We already helped build many, many holy objects. We built a big stupa in Thangme, where I was born in Solu Khumbu, on the back side of the mountain. That was done last year, about a year ago. We did so many things.

We are able to do all these things due to making offerings to the gurus and helping sentient beings in the past.

From my experience, I want to tell you that success is by helping even the ants. For example, don’t step on the ants on the road. Watch for them and when you sit down, see if there are any animals there. This is according to Vinaya. You have to watch.

In Washington I started to make charity to the ant nests. There are two monks in Washington, at Buddha Amitabha Pure Land retreat place, and one monk goes each week to make charity to the ants. He spends several hours; sometimes there are hundreds of ants nests and sometimes less. The food we give them is tsampa mixed with water blessed by Padmasambhava’s mantra. This is a special mantra to achieve enlightenment very quickly. His Holiness’s mani pills are also crushed and put in the tsampa, which is dried and sprinkled over the nests. Then each week we bought many hundreds of worms used as fishing bait. I think now they’re liberating crickets and other insects.

In Aptos, we buy fishing worms and sometimes other animals. Each week we save them from being killed and we liberate them. We use the blessed water and put it on them and take them around the stupa to purify them. Each time we take them around the stupa, relics, tsa tsas and other holy objects, which creates the cause of enlightenment. It’s most unbelievable, unbelievable. 

We try to help even animals, to liberate animals. The problem is we don’t have a place [large enough] to keep all the animals. We liberate animals many times, so we’re thinking to buy a big piece of land to keep the liberated animals. We’ve been looking here in Nepal for a long time. We also have an animal sanctuary in Ladakh, so there are many, many projects. We are also helping people, even the little that we can do to help people, to save them from problems. We help even the insects, the animals, as well as people.

As much as possible you can help others, then in your life whatever you wish to happen will happen. Without effort it will easily happen. Anything you do will succeed, difficulties won’t happen or they become less and less. You should live your life like this, then you will be saved from even small problems and others will be saved from that too. So you should do whatever you can. 

Besides reciting OM MANI PADME HUM and so forth—with bodhicitta for the numberless sentient beings, for all the sentient beings—you can also read the Golden Light Sutra and the Arya Sanghata Sutra. You said you're reading these texts. That’s incredibly good, unbelievably good.

The Arya Sanghata Sutra collects [so much merit.] I’m not going to repeat it, but it’s unbelievable, unbelievable. Wow, wow, wow, wow, wow. It brings unbelievable, unbelievable, unbelievable happiness and success. You can’t believe it yourself.

As long as the Golden Light Sutra is in this world, Buddhadharma is there. It’s unbelievable. When the Golden Light Sutra disappears, then Buddhadharma in this world disappears, it is said. So that’s unbelievably good.

You received very good advice from His Holiness. Definitely His Holiness is giving you advice, even though you didn’t see His Holiness and you didn’t talk to him. This happens to many people.

There’s a Tibetan nun who practiced Dolgyal; actually she didn’t practice it, but she used it for business [success]. She was advised by His Holiness not to do this practice. She had a dream of His Holiness and he said, “Abandon Dolgyal; don’t practice it.” She had the dream, but she didn’t [follow the dream advice] because her father was very much following Dolgyal, by following another lama, and then she followed too, even though she was advised not to.

Lama Felix, who teaches Dharma at his center in Singapore, with two or three monks helping him, was practicing Dolgyal. Then he had a dream of His Holiness, who said, “Do not practice Dolgyal.” This happened to several people I know. It’s incredible, unbelievable, that His Holiness sees them and talks to them. It’s incredible. You are so fortunate.

It’s true, [it’s best] not to gamble, while. at the same time those people are screaming that they have difficulties in their life, no money and so forth. They do all those things that waste money, like spending so much on smoking and drinking, wasting so much money, but if they stopped, they would save the money spent gambling. It’s ridiculous to waste so much of their money and then they don’t have any money left. Ridiculous. Also, there are those who are drinking or making fermented drinks.

Padmasambhava explained in detail about the incredible evil beings, the females. Their period came out [on the ground, then a plant grew from that.] Then they made prayers [for the plant to be smoked and for it to cause harm in the future.] Then came opium, [also tobacco and other substances] for cigarettes, for sniffing. The leaves, the poisonous leaves which grow near Lawudo, by smoking them there is a very bad result. [Smoking] chases away all the protectors from the white side, the virtuous side. Those protectors who like to collect virtue and help sentient beings go away.

Then evil beings from the black side come, the spirits and so forth. Then it causes wars, disease, unbelievable, unbelievable dangers of the earth, landslides, earthquakes and so many things, land problems, also unbelievable fire that even the whole government cannot stop immediately but only after many months. Numberless animals die as a result, so many small ones and even big ones, and even human beings.

There are so many dangers from wind, cyclones, tornadoes, whirlwinds and so forth, which all destroy people’s houses. Also floods, tsunamis, so many problems, including floods which take away the houses. [Smoking] causes all this; it harms the nagas and landlords who are not people but spirit beings, all those. It causes so many harms—what happened recently in America, China, Japan and so many countries, all those things.

Smoking is very bad for the environment, it’s worse for the environment. Also the fermented drink, chang, all this came from the bad, impure substances. Buddha explained about the shortcomings; it’s unbelievable.

It is said in the Mindfulness Sutra that as a result we are reborn in the crying hell and those who helped pour the wine are reborn around the crying hell. That means we are trapped there for eons. There are no doors or windows; it’s an iron house, totally oneness with heat, red-hot, unbelievably hot, but we don’t die for eons and eons. Then there’s another one, the hell of great crying, which is even hotter than the iron house, and if we escape from that, there’s yet another one, it's unbelievable.

So we should never do that. If we love ourselves, we can never do that and we don’t energize others to drink wine. We generate compassion for others who are creating the cause of the hell realms.

I’m thinking to make a book about the environment. People talk about the environment so much, but what they say is really nothing. The danger, the harm of smoking cigarettes, sniffing [substances], taking opium and all these things are the worst, so I’m thinking of making a book on these things, and to have it translated into other languages, English and so forth. Basically it will contain Padmasambhava’s quotations, so people can print out the quotations, put them in plastic and put in restaurants and offices as much as possible, then anyone who wants to practice can. Not everyone will believe it, but some will. There will be certain people who will stop smoking, drinking and so forth, so it’s good to help them.

Medicine Buddha practice and OM MANI PADME HUM are common practices, so you should do these. Also do prostrations by reciting the Thirty-five Buddhas’ names. Lama Tsongkhapa did so many hundreds of thousands of prostrations with the Thirty-five Buddhas’ names, then he had realizations like rainfall.

As you’ve been doing, continue Vajrasattva practice with the remedy of the four opponent powers before going to bed. You can look in books that explain these powers.

We have to understand the importance of Vajrasattva. We need to purify by reciting Vajrasattva mantra, either the long one twenty-one times, or the short one, OM VAJRASATTVA HUM, twenty-eight times. Otherwise, today’s negative karma becomes double tomorrow, then the next day it becomes triple, and it goes on like that, increasing more and more. Wow, wow, wow, wow. Then after fifteen days we have created so much heavy negative karma. When it increases like this, it becomes the same as having killed one human being. Even if nobody knows that we’ve killed a human being, each day the negative karma is increasing. Today’s negative karma increases by tomorrow [if we don’t purify it].

Today, if we create negative karma with body, speech, and mind; if we’re motivated by anger or attachment to this life, then it becomes nonvirtue. It doesn’t have to be that we killed a human being, a big thing; any action done with anger or attachment becomes negative karma.

Then after fifteen days, by increasing day-by-day, it becomes equal to killing a human being. So you can imagine the reality—wow, wow, wow—it’s unbelievable. That one negative karma increases day-by-day, and after fifteen days that one negative karma becomes 18,184, so it increases that much. Just one negative karma increases from today, for example. So like that, after fifteen days it becomes the same as killing a human being.

You see, there are many negative karmas collected with body, speech, and mind, many in twenty-four hours, and they’re increasing day-by-day. They’re double today, triple tomorrow, and it goes on and on. Wow, wow, wow.

Then after fifteen days, it’s like creating the karma of having killed many human beings—not just one, it’s like having killed many human beings. After eighteen days [it increases by 100,071 times], so by the time we die, if we never do Vajrasattva, even one negative karma becomes like a mountain. One small negative karma, like an atom, by multiplying, it becomes like a mountain, so heavy, unbelievably heavy.

It increases, it multiplies, so by the time we die this one negative karma has become like a mountain. One negative karma increases like that. There are so many negative karmas every day created with body, speech, and mind, so then we have so many mountains. With all this negative karma collected we will go to the lower realms and suffer for eons and eons. There are not even the worldly pleasures in the lower realms, only the most unbelievable suffering. That is materialized and fills the whole sky, like that. Wow, wow, wow, wow.

Therefore, now we are human beings, so now, each day, each hour, each minute, each second, is so precious, unbelievably precious. The opportunity to abandon the cause of suffering, negative karma, and collect virtue is so precious, unbelievably precious. So we must practice Dharma and not waste time. We must practice Dharma; this opportunity is so precious.

Therefore, recite the Vajrasattva mantra—twenty-one long mantras or twenty-eight short ones, whichever you recite, that number has the power to stop multiplying today’s negative karma by tomorrow, and to purify today’s negative karma as well as negative karma collected in the past. It’s unbelievably, unbelievably important. The Vajrasattva practice is so good, and with the remedy of the four powers it becomes the most powerful purification. So please continue.

If you can, please recite Jampel Tsenjö, Chanting the Names of Noble Manjushri. That much I’ll tell you now.

Thank you very much.

You should not resign; please help the center. In my observation it’s bad if you resign and good if you can help. Thank you very much. You are most welcome to enlightenment. Goodbye samsara.

Please study Liberation in the Palm of Your Hand from beginning to end and read it eleven times. Do effortful meditation following the lamrim outline twice from beginning to end, then do effortless meditation.

Thank you very much. Also please take care of your child.

With much love and prayers ...

My most dear, most kind, most precious wish-fulfilling one,
Thank you very much for the clear explanation of what you did. That’s very good that you confessed everything. I understand your situation, your past experience.

There is the famous yogi from the past, not a monk, but a lay person, Milarepa. After his father died, his aunt and uncle took all the materials from the family and gave them such a hard time. Then Milarepa’s mother requested that he learn black magic and he did this, learning from a teacher. He dug a hole for seven days and made retreat and then with the power he attained, he sent the mountain rocks rolling down to the place where his aunt and uncle lived. They were having a marriage party and the rocks killed thirty-seven people and many more animals, which were downstairs under the house. They were all killed.

After doing this, Milarepa was so upset and then his black magic teacher said, “If you want to practice Dharma, in order to practice Dharma, you should go and see Marpa, who is not an ordinary being.”

Then Milarepa went off to find Marpa and when he found him, he offered his body, speech and mind to Marpa. He had nothing else to offer in return for teachings, food and a place to stay. Throughout his time with Marpa he never arose heresy.

Marpa asked him to build a nine-story tower by himself, with no one else helping, then after he had finished he had to take all the stones back to where he had originally taken them from. So Marpa asked him to do this three times—to build such a tower and then tear it down again. One tower still exists in Tibet, although I haven’t seen it. If you do pilgrimage in the southern part of Tibet, at a place called Lhokha you can see it.

Actually, Marpa wanted Milarepa to experience even more hardships in order to become enlightened more quickly—even though he did still get enlightened in his brief lifetime—but the wisdom-mother of Marpa requested Marpa to teach Milarepa and Marpa accepted to teach him. So Marpa manifested as the deity and the mandala and gave him teachings and then sent him to the mountains to practice.

During that time Milarepa underwent many hardships, having no pleasure in the happiness of this life, only eating nettles, no chili, oil or salt, just nettles cooked in a clay pot. Even that clay pot broke because so many nettles were cooked in it; even the outside broke but somehow the inside was intact, so he still used it.

Milarepa underwent many hardships. He bore all this in order to become enlightened and so many yogis did likewise. Milarepa became famous in the East and the West and because he became enlightened he could enlighten so many other beings, he enlightened so many sentient beings.

I am using this example because definitely we can change. We can change just like Milarepa. He killed so many living beings but he followed his guru without anger or heresy, even though Marpa beat and kicked him when he came to teachings with others. He would get kicked out. This was in order to purify his negative karma created since beginningless time.

Marpa was an enlightened being, which means he completed bodhicitta, he completed compassion, he completed the development and the understanding and realization of emptiness, he had direct perception of emptiness. He was free of all the gross and subtle [obscurations] and he was an enlightened holy being with perfect power to benefit sentient beings in whichever way was most beneficial for them.

I am talking about Milarepa’s life story because you can also change, you can do like this. In early times you can do like this and then become pure. You can become enlightened in a short lifetime of degenerated times.

Please understand what you really have to know—that life is short and this human life is so precious. It is only one time, it doesn’t happen all the time, plus it is very short. Death is definite, the time of death is uncertain and at the time of death material things don’t help. We are going to be separated from surrounding family and friends, and we can’t take anything to the next life, not even our own oceans of jewels. Also the body, we can’t take it to our next life, none of these things. We can only take the practice of holy Dharma if we have done that practice in this life.

So, this life is very short. There is confession, and you can meditate strongly on the shortcomings of attachment, sexual misconduct and the benefits of morality. Think about this and study every day.

You can even become a monk. Even though before there was so much sexual misconduct, done so many times before, by becoming a monk you can slowly become pure over time. If you become a monk you can purify so much and collect so much merit. It purifies [negative karma] not only from this life but also from beginningless rebirths. You can talk more about this later and ask questions and it can be discussed with other elder Sangha members or geshes so you can understand what that life actually means.

With much love and prayers ...

My most dear, most precious, most kind, most wish-fulfilling one,
Thank you very much for your kind letter. So finally you realize you should confess; this is very good. This is the way to enlighten your mind; you purify because you want to purify and you had the thought to purify. Of course, you have to think of the negative karma created since beginningless rebirths. It’s very, very good that you finally recognize that you have created so much negative karma and you want to confess to me. That is the way to generate the path to enlightenment.

With your palms together, reciting the Confession to the Thirty-five Buddhas with prostrations—that is really good. Reciting the Thirty-five Buddhas is extremely good. It is most important for you to have concentration, thinking that you are prostrating to Buddha, otherwise it is just exercise.

If you can do three long prostrations, it is incredible, incredible, incredible. Do full-length prostrations if you can, because however many atoms are underneath you when you prostrate, that many times you create the cause to become a wheel-turning king for one thousand lifetimes. Even if there is one atom below you, you create the cause to become a wheel-turning king one thousand times. Also, if your feet are flat or your hair is long (but since you are a nun this is not the case), however many atoms are covered, that many times you create the cause to be a universal wheel-turning king for one thousand lifetimes. Wow, wow, wow, wow, wow! Unbelievable, unbelievable, unbelievable! The benefits of prostrations are actually more than this, as explained in the Lankavatara Sutra [Tib: lang kar sheg pä do; Wyl: lang kar gshegs pa'i mdo].

We should dedicate our merits with bodhicitta, for numberless sentient beings. We need enlightenment to do perfect works for sentient beings, so we dedicate our merits like this. Then if anger and heresy arise they do not destroy the merits, because of this bodhicitta. It’s like when trucks take stones from the mountain, they don’t take all of the mountain; it just becomes less. Also, dedicate with emptiness and then the merits don’t become weak.

You can dedicate in this way:

"Due to all the past, present and future merits collected by me, the past, present and future merits collected by numberless sentient beings, the past, present and future merits collected by numberless buddhas, those who do not exist from their own side, that are a hallucination, not nonexistent at all, but a hallucination, may the I, which doesn’t exist from its own side—the I which is not nonexistent, but exists in mere name—may this I become a buddha, which appears like that, the way it exists, like a hallucination, in mere name. May I lead all the sentient beings, who appear real—who are not nonexistent, they exist in mere name—and bring them to buddhahood, which appears real—it is not nonexistent, but exists in mere name—by myself alone, who appears real, but is a hallucination, not there."

You should meditate like this. I am explaining like this for you. If you don’t dedicate for enlightenment, then anger and heresy arise and the merit is lost, like that. It’s so dangerous and it destroys your liberation and enlightenment. Even if you can’t prostrate, you should put the palms together and visualize, not just one body, visualize many long, tall bodies filling space. You can visualize them as Thousand-arm Chenrezig if you have the initiation. Then with a very large body that covers the whole ground, prostrate to the Lama Chöpa merit field and if you have taken teachings from His Holiness the Dalai Lama, then all are embodied into one and one manifests as all. This is guru yoga.

Or if you are prostrating to a thangka, think the guru is all the buddhas, so you can do like that or you can use the Lama Chöpa merit field. At the very beginning is the bodhicitta motivation, you know that, and remembering impermanence and death. Think, “Even today, even in this session, I can die.” Then with bodhicitta and putting the palms together at the four places—crown, forehead, throat and heart—make prostrations. If prostrating to a statue, think it is a manifestation of the guru, then with your hands in the four places think you are prostrating to all the buddhas, Dharma, Sangha and to all the gurus.

As you go down, think that the Buddha, Dharma, Sangha, numberless statues, stupas and scriptures, are all the guru. When your forehead touches the ground, think, “I prostrate to the numberless buddhas, Dharma, Sangha.” Then the numberless causes of enlightenment are created. Think you are prostrating  to all the statues, stupas, scriptures, every single holy object in China, Tibet, Nepal, India Burma, Sri Lanka, everywhere, and think they are the guru-buddha. This collects the highest merit and is the most extensive purification. Amazing! Amazing! Amazing!

You have to know how to do Dharma practice. If you do prostrations, then you purify quickly. Recite the names or you can even do it with a recording if you haven’t memorized the names, but there is much more merit by reciting the names. Many people use a recording, but they don’t get the incredible merit of reciting the Thirty-five Buddhas' names.

In Lama Tsongkhapa’s life story we don’t hear much about Vajrasattva practice, so one time in Dharamsala I asked my guru, Kyabje Denmo Locho Rinpoche, and when he answered, he answered publicly. He said just one time reciting Thirty-five Buddha names with the four powers, by doing it well, we purify the five heinous crimes (killing one’s mother, killing one’s father, killing an arhat, drawing blood from a buddha and creating disunity amongst the Sangha.) All of these get purified. Otherwise, they cause us to be reborn in the hottest hell for eons, but by doing the Thirty-five Buddhas practice our negative karma is totally purified, totally purified. That is why Lama Tsongkhapa did so many hundreds of thousands of prostrations. I thought he did less, but actually he did much more. Then realizations come like rainfall.

At night-time recite the long Vajrasattva mantra twenty-one times, or twenty-eight or more times. Or, recite the short Vajrasattva mantra, OM VAJRASATTVA HUM, twenty-eight times. Otherwise our negative karma increases, doubles, triples, like that. It’s so important to do this with the four opponent powers. Not only that, it purifies today’s, yesterday’s and past negative karma. Wow, wow, wow!

If we don’t do Vajrasattva practice, then after fifteen days the negative karma created increases by 18,184 times. That means even if there is no story of our having killed a human being, each negative karma of body, speech and mind increases to be equal to killing a human being. So many! It becomes like killing so many human beings and after eighteen days, our negative karma increases by 100,072 times, it’s so heavy. Then by increasing day-by-day, by the time we die, one atom becomes like a mountain, so heavy, then we are reborn in the hells for eons. This is just for this life, forget about past lives. So now we can see that Vajrasattva done with the four powers gives us incredible protection. That’s how we protect ourselves from the lower realms. We can’t think there is a God that protects us from [experiencing the results of our] negative karma; we have to purify it.

Also if you can, read lamrim texts, especially Liberation in the Palm of Your Hand. There are so many lamrim texts, but Liberation in the Palm of Your Hand is Pabongka Dechen Nyingpo’s experience, therefore it is so powerful.

If you don’t want to fear death, the intermediate state and the lower realms, please read the Sutra of Great Liberation. At present it is only in Tibetan. If you can, read that; also presently it is being translated by one monk, so the translation will come soon. Otherwise please read the Golden Light Sutra, Arya Sanghata Sutra and Vajra Cutter Sutra, like that. [Note: The Sutra of Great Liberation has now been translated into English and is available from FPMT Foundation Store.]

Do prostrations visualizing the merit field and the holy objects. Merit depends on the number of bodies visualized and this becomes the cause of enlightenment. Unbelievable, unbelievable, unbelievable!

Purification depends on how much regret is felt, for the greatest purification. Then it makes the negative karma become thinner. There is also an emotional mind of regret. Similarly, with bodhicitta, when there is too much anger, attachment, self-cherishing mind, grasping, holding the real I, the negative emotional mind is there.

Thank you very much. Welcome to enlightenment through this purification.

With much love and prayers ...

P.S. Even though there is no lineage from the Buddha concerning gelongma ordination, if you are sincere and follow [the vows], then you create good karma. This is compared to taking the ordination for your reputation or in order to sit at the front or to have the name of gelongma.

An example is one nun who was an abbess of a nunnery in California in the Chinese tradition where they had 364 vows, which she sincerely followed. Then she joined the Tibetan tradition and was staying in Aptos. If a gelongma goes out alone without another nun, by doing this, they break a secondary vow. The other nuns at Aptos didn’t have the thought to help her, or maybe they didn’t know, so they didn’t go out with her when she went out. So then the nun would take the dog with her when she went out. She tried to follow her vows like that for a long time. If nuns live in a nunnery then they can follow the vows more easily, of course. Now she has big land in Washington and because she lives there alone, she has to now go out alone. So, if someone is taking gelongma ordination for protection against the delusions and with the motivation to benefit sentient beings, then this is very good.

My most dear, most precious, most kind, wish-fulfilling one,
I’m so happy that you express what you need and how things have been, but first I’m happy that you tried to help. You shouldn’t expect, when you work for others, that everyone will listen to you, and will be humble to you, and that everyone will praise you as though you’re the Buddha, or some kind of best or highest person.

I always advise directors that when they become director, they should expect to be the one who receives the complaints, or to receive complaints from many people. They should expect that.

When you become the object of criticism, when that happens, actually when you become the director, then it doesn’t matter much when that happens. It doesn’t make you upset or angry because you expect it to happen and you don’t reject the criticism, but accept it. If you reject it, then generally a problem arises. If you accept the mistake or problem, there’s peace, so much peace and happiness.

For example, in the Eight Verses by the Kadampa Geshe Langri Tangpa:

When, out of envy, others mistreat me
With abuse, insults, or the like,
I shall accept defeat
And offer the victory to others.

Think, “When others complain, I will offer them the victory. With a jealous mind they criticize me and do unworthwhile things at that time. I take the loss upon myself and practice offering the victory to others.”

So it says in the commentary that even if you didn’t make the mistake, but somebody else did, if somebody complained that you did it, then you happily accept that you made the mistake. So you take the loss on yourself and offer the victory to the other person. In this way it helps in this life, also for all your wishes to be more successful and for more happiness in your life.

By doing this one time, then just from that one time so much success and happiness comes in your future lives—probably for five hundred years—and your wishes come true. Then like that, for thousands and hundreds of thousands of years, it goes on up to enlightenment; it brings you to enlightenment. You will have unbelievable, more and more happiness and success.

Then in the future, if you make this mistake, someone else will take the loss and offer the victory to you. In this lifetime what you did, then the result is that other people will take it happily, like that, then you go to enlightenment. It’s unbelievable. And then after enlightenment, you will be able to liberate numberless sentient beings from the oceans of the lower realms’ suffering, and from the oceans of samsaric suffering, and bring them to peerless happiness, enlightenment, buddhahood. This result is incredible. Wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow.

So you need to wake up now by understanding this. This is like a ringing a bell, a big bell that everyone in the country hears, even in the caves and in the forest. Even the ants can hear it, not only the people.

Please read my book on Bodhichitta, and the book by my guru, the great bodhisattva Khunu Lama Rinpoche, The Jewel Lamp: A Praise of Bodhicitta [published as Vast as the Heavens, Deep as the Sea]. Please read these books often, again and again. It’s also good to study Bodhicaryavatara, and there are also commentaries. Read about the benefits of bodhicitta again and again in Bodhicaryavatara. It’s good to read this book, starting from the beginning and reading it to the end. It’s always good to read and to study all the time, wherever you go.

I received the lung from Kyabje Khunu Lama Rinpoche. He told me about the refuge qualities of Buddha, Dharma and Sangha, and the defects of the Hindu gods, Indra, Brahma, and so forth. [See also pp. 69–70, The Nectar of Bodhicitta.] [The followers of these gods] in all their lives, like in their family life, have so much attachment, anger, and ignorance, jealousy and so forth, again and again.

The Buddha’s life didn’t have these things and it was the opposite. The Buddha only has great compassion embracing all sentient beings. It’s incredible. And he is omniscient, knowing everything directly—past, present, future. He can directly read the minds of numberless hell beings, numberless hungry ghosts, numberless animals, numberless humans, numberless suras, and numberless asura beings at the same time. It’s like that, the Buddha can directly read the minds of sentient beings.

The Buddha can see all the different karma, the different suffering and delusions, everything, and how to guide each sentient being to enlightenment.

So all this should be based not only on reading what is in the newspaper; the idea is to apply it to your mind whenever you can. It should be like that and not like reading the world newspaper every day; not like that.

The whole thing is based on what the purpose of life is. If you don’t know the purpose of life, then you care about everything else instead. You have to know the very essence, the purpose of life, then you live your life based on that.

The purpose of your life is like this, not just for the happiness of this life; that is not the special purpose of having a human body. Even tigers, rats, spiders, scorpions and snakes have pleasure of this life, so that alone is not special. Even ants are keeping so busy looking for food and looking for happiness. Like that, other insects are so busy looking for happiness and food. That’s nothing special and doesn’t fulfill the purpose of taking a human life.

So, what is special? Living with attachment to the happiness of this life is nonvirtue, then actions done with body, speech, and mind, all three are negative actions, and the result is only suffering.

So even if we do meditation with that motivation, reading Dharma texts, meditating and reciting prayers, that action becomes nonvirtue. With that motivation, any action done with body, speech, and mind becomes nonvirtue, and it causes so many problems not just in this life, not only that, but the result is suffering in the lower realms. Not just for one minute or one second, but for eons, for a long time, and it’s not sure if we can even hear a human voice for eons.

Instead of seeking happiness for this life, we need to renounce the happiness of this life  [and seek] future lives’ happiness—future lives means not one, but numberless, until we’re free from samsara. That happiness is really, really important, because it’s not just one life, two lives or three lives, but numberless, until we’re free from samsara. It’s amazing. All those future lives are so much more important than the happiness of this life, which is only for a few years, a few months, a few weeks, a few hours, a few minutes or a few seconds.

So we need to do the actions of our body, speech, and mind with that motivation, not seeking the happiness of this life as the main thing. The main thing is the happiness of our future lives, almost, we can say, for numberless future lives, until we’re free from samsara, so our motivation is for all these future lives’ happiness. That’s amazing, amazing; that makes sense, that is Dharma, that is the very first Dharma, the basic, positive action.

So that motivation doesn’t have attachment. We need to understand that if we don’t cling to this life’s happiness, and instead, we seek happiness of future lives, that is positive, that is Dharma, that is virtue. So then the actions done with our body, speech, and mind become virtuous, and the result is only happiness, not suffering; there is no lower realm suffering.

So that’s the first purpose, the first meaning of the human life, how to live the life. That means with the mind, whether you’re a beggar or a millionaire that depends on the mind. Whether you live a nonvirtuous life, a non-Dharma life, or a virtuous life, all depends on the motivation. It doesn’t depend on how much money you have, or how much ice cream or pizza you have, or how many drugs, hashish, you have.

Now, the next meaning of life, instead of seeking the happiness of future lives, which is still samsaric happiness, we have to let go of that, we don’t have attachment to that, we become free from that attachment.

The main thing that we’re looking for is ultimate happiness, liberation from samsara and the oceans of suffering of the six realms forever. What we are looking for is ultimate happiness, [not just] the happiness of future lives, which is still samsaric happiness, a way of using the human life. The actions of body, speech, and mind done with that motivation—seeking ultimate happiness, liberation from samsara—become the cause of ultimate happiness, liberation from samsara forever. It’s amazing, amazing.

Now the third meaning of life, instead of looking for that, we renounce that lower nirvana, the ultimate happiness of liberation. We renounce that because it is not what we’re looking for. What we’re looking for is great nirvana, buddhahood, peerless happiness, the true cessation of gross defilements and subtle defilements, and completion of all realizations, sang gye in Tibetan.

As I mentioned before, after we achieve this, then we can do perfect work for sentient beings, freeing them from the lower realms, freeing them from the whole entire suffering of samsara and bringing them to enlightenment.

To do perfect work for sentient beings we need to achieve enlightenment. [We need] that thought to achieve enlightenment, for oneself to achieve enlightenment, then having the thought to free all the numberless sentient beings from the oceans of samsaric suffering and bring them to perfect enlightenment.

His Holiness often says that the thought to benefit sentient beings comes from compassion and the thought to achieve enlightenment is wisdom. That is so important, otherwise we can’t do perfect work for others.

The third motivation is the main one, so this is the greatest meaning of our human life, and this is what we should think of every day. We should generate this every day in the morning, first thing in the morning. When we eat food, when we go to sleep, when we go to the toilet, when we are walking, anytime, this is what we should have, as much as possible.

The basic practice, the attitude of the buddhas and even bodhisattvas is that however the earth is used by sentient beings, it’s for their happiness, in all kinds of ways. The different houses, companies, airports, trains, cars, skiing, so many different things, are all for the happiness of the sentient beings. Water is used by sentient beings in so many ways for their happiness. Fire is used by sentient beings in so many ways for their happiness. Wind is used by sentient beings in so many ways for their happiness. The sky is used by sentient beings in so many ways for their happiness.

So like that, use the examples from the Bodhicaryavatara and from Nagarjuna’s teachings. So it is up to the sentient beings how they use you for their happiness. Think that you have given your life; you have given your body, speech, and mind, your possessions, all the three-time merits, everything to the sentient beings, to all the six-realm sentient beings, everyone. Think there’s not even one ant that’s not being given to, dedicated for. There’s not even one mosquito that you didn’t dedicate for. There’s not even one person, there’s not even one crocodile that you’ve not dedicated for. So you should live your life for the sentient beings and do everything for the sentient beings.

Even if you take medicine, your life is to benefit others. Also if possible, you can pray to Medicine Buddha, knowing the benefits and reciting the mantra. You can pray and take medicine with the motivation for your life to be beneficial for all sentient beings. So even when you take medicine, it’s for benefiting sentient beings. Even if you go to the hospital, the dentist, anything; or if you have diarrhea and go to the hospital, it’s for the sentient beings; anything, cancer treatment, food or sleep, it should be like that. Everything you do is for sentient beings, not for yourself.

This is the main attitude we should live with for our whole life, day and night. This is the [cause of] happiness. If we’re able to do this, unbelievable happiness comes from this. Even if we die, we die with happiness; even if we’re sick, we’re happy; whatever happens, we have so much happiness. This is mentioned in The Jewel Lamp: A Praise of Bodhicitta, by Khunu Lama Rinpoche.

Otherwise, when we’re with people, at the beginning we want to help them, then when we get involved in the organization, any organization, when it can’t benefit the old people or the kids, whatever it is, then we get crushed, our ego gets crushed, crashed, like a car crash. There’s so much crash, because of attachment to others or anger toward others; there’s so much ego, then we crash and we end up with everybody as enemy.

Because of our self-cherishing thought, other people’s self-cherishing thought, we make everybody the enemy; we make the whole organization, the members, the people, everyone becomes the enemy. We think they don’t like us, but we have made them dislike us. We don’t know that we’re the one that made them dislike us. It’s like that, but we don’t think that way.

So if we live life generating bodhicitta in the morning, if that’s our purpose in life, then as I said before, how the buddhas and bodhisattvas live their lives, then we can give and cause so much happiness for our wife, our husband, our children, our family, our neighbor, our own country, the world, and then all the six-realm sentient beings. We can give them so much happiness.

Just a small example, there’s a very famous man, the richest man in the world, Jeff Bezos; after he and his wife were divorced, his wife donated billions of dollars when the COVID19 virus started. She gave the money to people who needed it, so that is really incredible. She gave so much, it’s really good, and also now her husband is giving donations. It’s incredible. It’s a small example, but they gave so much happiness to others and to the world. Wow, wow.

If our attitude changes, instead of cherishing the I, we cherish others; instead of letting go of others, we let go of the I, where the suffering—past, present and future—all the suffering of samsara, came from. When we follow the self-cherishing thought, then we’re under the control of that, then that makes us harm the numberless sentient beings and cause them to suffer.

Therefore, by cherishing others, we receive all the happiness from others. If we cherish others, if we let go of I and cherish others, then from that, all the happiness comes. Immediately we change our mind there’s happiness in our life; we find happiness and that happiness develops and develops every day.

When we develop this attitude, we can achieve all the happiness of this life and in all our future lives, as well as liberation and enlightenment, and then we can bring all the happiness, especially enlightenment, to numberless sentient beings.

One thing I didn’t answer: the motivation of cherishing I, letting go of others, that itself becomes an obstacle to achieving happiness.

In the Bodhicaryavatara, the bodhisattva Shantideva says:

[8:131] If I do not actually exchange my happiness
For the sufferings of others,
I shall not attain the state of buddhahood
And even in cyclic existence shall have no joy.

If the exchange of oneself for others is not done, we can’t achieve enlightenment. Even in samsara we will have no happiness, and even the happiness of this life won’t succeed.

For example, servants won’t listen to us or do work for us, and leaders won’t give us wages or prizes, and the works of this life don’t succeed.

[8:132] Let alone what is beyond this world—
Because of my servants doing no work
And because of my masters giving me no pay,
Even the needs of this life will not be fulfilled.

Then we think, “It’s not me; they judged me, they did this to me. That person made the mistake.”

Wow, not only did we make the mistake, but also, we said somebody else did it, no question. We think, “I didn’t do this,” and we give the problem to another person. We take the profit and we give the loss to others. At that time we’re creating the biggest obstacle to achieving happiness in this life, and then that’s the cause of not achieving happiness in all our future lives and for our wishes to not get fulfilled.

We will always have obstacles, not only to achieving ultimate happiness, freedom from samsara—that doesn’t happen. We will have so many obstacles, we can’t achieve that, and then no question of attaining the peerless happiness, enlightenment. That comes from bodhicitta, cherishing others; it never comes from the self-cherishing attitude, the self-cherishing thought, which is the worst enemy of bodhicitta.

If we want to help others, to help sentient beings, that means we want to give them happiness, to cause happiness to others. In that case, it depends on our mind, changing our mind, letting go of the I, from where all the suffering comes, and cherishing others, from where all the past, present, and future happiness comes, including enlightenment.

So giving all the happiness up to enlightenment to all sentient beings is up to our mind; it’s done with our mind. And we have to start to cherish others, for our mind to cherish others. Please remember this.

In the Bodhicaryavatara it says whoever wants to save or guide oneself and others should exchange oneself for others, and practice this secretly. Write this down in your prayer book, or in big letters in your room or in your office, whether it’s a company or whether it’s a center.

[8:120] Thus whoever wishes to quickly afford protection
To both oneself and other beings
Should practice that holy secret:
The exchanging of self and others.

This verse contains so much. In our life we think about success for ourselves, [not] success for others, so if we want that success, then what we need is the bodhisattva practice—exchanging oneself for others. That’s the answer. We don’t need to get lost in all the thinking, “Oh I can’t manage.” No, the answer is right there. The great bodhisattva Shantideva mentioned this in the Bodhicaryavatara.

This is the most practical answer and the method to achieve happiness and success for oneself and success for others, success for numberless sentient beings, not just one person. The answer is there in our life; the answer is there right now. It depends on our mind, whether we change the mind or not, whether we follow the self-cherishing thought, grasping at the self, the I, cherishing the I, all the time I, I, I. We’ve been doing that since beginningless rebirths and that’s why we are still suffering in samsara.

We have to know how to benefit others, this is what I’m explaining, so please read this motivation first thing in the morning, my motivation, The Method to Transform a Suffering Life into Happiness (Including Enlightenment). I tell many students to do this. It was prepared a long time ago, many years ago, but I have elaborated a little bit at the beginning and at the end, for some Tibetan people to do in the old folks home in South India.

You must do this practice first thing in the morning. It contains so much of the Bodhicaryavatara on how to live your life in the most positive way, the happiest way. To live your life for others, as I mentioned before.

There’s another book called Bodhisattva Attitude: How to Dedicate Your Life to Others, with words, quotations. It’s similar to that, for example, how to think when you take off your shoes, when you sit down, when you go to the toilet, all those things.

Since we don’t have bodhicitta, it’s very good to learn how to do everything with bodhicitta; that's very good. If we have bodhicitta, then naturally everything that we do is done with bodhicitta. Naturally everything is done with bodhicitta.

So now for your purification, according to my observation, I suggest you do 400,000 Vajrasattva mantras. You can do some in retreat with more sessions, and if you’re working, sometimes just do one or two sessions, perhaps in the morning and the evening. You can do some recitations of Vajrasattva mantra with prostrations, or sometimes when sitting.

If we live with bodhicitta motivation, then every action of body, speech, and mind that we do becomes a cause of enlightenment, the highest happiness, so then there’s not much to purify, so it helps, it’s incredible.

The person who’s angry with us, who doesn’t like us, our enemy, that is our yidam, so that helps us develop bodhicitta, compassion, patience, and then that makes us to achieve the path to enlightenment. Then we’re able to cause all the happiness up to enlightenment for every sentient being, every ant, every mosquito, every single sentient being.

So then regarding the shamatha meditation object you can use Tara, but visualize a tiny Tara on the tip of your nose. The smaller it is then you’re more able to control the mind from distraction. Don’t close your eyes when you meditate; just close them enough to see the tip of your nose and keep your posture straight so that if a grain from the tip of your nose were to drop, it would drop to the navel, like that.

Or you can use the breath going in and out as the object of meditation. Normally that’s an easy way to achieve shinä.

If you visualize the Buddha, then you collect the most unbelievable merits—amazing, amazing—you collect merit almost like the atoms of the earth by looking at the Buddha, the holy form, so you can do that.

The best, the clearest teaching on shamatha is in Liberation in the Palm of Your Hand. I was told this by my guru, who had complete experience of the whole lamrim. So study that, meditate and study that.

Thank you very much. You are most welcome to enlightenment. Goodbye samsara and most welcome to enlightenment.

With much love and prayers,

Lama Zopa

P.S. If you can, do the extra beginning and end of the morning motivation (The Method to Transform). If you can do that with the prayers every day, then start with that. That’s really so good, really good, even you just do that.

My most dear, most kind, most precious, wish-fulfilling one,

I am sorry for the many eons of delay it took to reply to your email.

You need to do Vajrasattva practice and to particularly focus on purifying the negative karma collected with the guru, so that is purified. Every day do Vajrasattva mantra: one mala, half a mala or twenty-one times.

Regarding losing your faculties, if you can, recite Chanting the Names of Manjushri. That will help. Visualize orange beams emitted from Manjushri, like sunbeams totally filling your body, purifying all the defilements, which are in the form of darkness or dirt or liquid. Think you are totally filled with wisdom light and have achieved unforgetfulness [recovered your memory].

Make strong prayers to Manjushri for that to not happen. Make strong request.

With much love and prayers ...