Anxiety and Panic Disorder

My most dear, most kind, most precious, wish-fulfilling one,

You should read my book Transforming Problems into Happiness.

You also need to practice White Umbrella Deity. If possible, you should do the sadhana. There’s a longer one, but you can recite the short prayer and at least recite the mantra by visualizing White Umbrella Deity. Think that you are under the guidance of White Umbrella Deity. Nectar beams emitted from you totally eliminate all the negative karmas, spirit harms and defilements collected from beginningless rebirths. You can recite some mantras, then think of all sentient beings.

You should think, as said by Buddha and particularly as the great bodhisattva Shantideva said,

If I didn’t harm others, nobody would harm me.

This is the first thing you should think whenever obstacles arise, whatever you encounter. The very first thing you should think is that this is caused by harming others. Basically in Buddhism, the root is that if somebody is harming you, it’s related to yourself. It’s not that you’re perfect but still somebody is harming you. Not at all. That’s not Buddhism. Immediately, whatever problem comes, the first thing to think is that it’s the result of having harmed sentient beings in the past. It’s the result of that. First think that.

Lama Atisha came from Nalanda to Tibet when there was degeneration of Buddhism there, when there was so much misunderstanding about how to practice. People thought that if you practiced sutra you couldn’t practice tantra and if you practiced tantra you couldn’t practice sutra. Lama Atisha was invited to Tibet [by the king, Lha Lama Yeshe Ö, who sent a gold offering and translator to Lama Atisha in India.] But the first translator, Nagtso Lotsawa, didn’t get to even inform Lama Atisha; he didn’t even get to see Lama Atisha.

So then again the Dharma king, Lha Lama Yeshe Ö, went to look for gold in different parts of Tibet. Near Nepal there was an irreligious king who captured the Dharma king and put him in prison. So Jangchub Ö, the king’s nephew, went to see the irreligious king to offer him the gold, but the irreligious king said gold the size of the head was missing.

Then the nephew went to see the Dharma king, Lha Lama Yeshe Ö, who told him, “Don’t give him even a handful of gold, but send everything to India to offer to Lama Atisha and invite Lama Atisha to Tibet.” So he sent a message to Lama Atisha, saying, “I will die in prison to spread Dharma in Tibet, but may I be able to meet you in the future life.” He sent a message to Lama Atisha like that, and later died in prison.

So another group went to India with all the gold, and because Tibetan people are the special objects to be subdued by Chenrezig, the Compassion Buddha, he manifested in the form of a child sometimes and sometimes as an old woman or man, and gave advice to the group. At that time there were no cars, nothing, and they had to go just on foot. Sometimes Chenrezig manifested as a child to warn them there was the danger of a wrong path, a wrong road, then he would guide them on the right road. Sometimes he manifested as an old person who told them, “Keep quiet. Don’t talk so much about inviting Lama Atisha, because there are obstacles.”

Finally they reached India and were able to see Lama Atisha, and they informed Lama Atisha what happened in Tibet, all the misunderstandings and degeneration of Buddhism there. Lama Atisha listened to everything and then he checked with Tara. Whatever Lama Atisha did, he asked Tara. Then Tara said, “Your life will be highly beneficial in Tibet, but it will be seven years shorter.” So Lama Atisha said, “I don’t mind.”

Then Lama Atisha went through Nepal and into Tibet. So then Jangchub Ö, the king’s nephew, explained the situation to Lama Atisha. Lama Atisha then wrote the Lamp for the Path to Enlightenment. All the Buddha’s 84,000 teachings are divided into three: Theravada, Mahayana sutra and Mahayana tantra. So, all those are integrated into the lamrim, and all those are not contradictory. They were regarded before as contradictory, but they’re all for one person’s graduated practice to achieve enlightenment. Lama Atisha emphasized that, then he wrote the Lamp for the Path to Enlightenment, and lamrim, the graduated path to enlightenment, the title happened after that. So all the wrong conceptions were completely eliminated, dispelled, like that, and Buddhism became very pure.

Then Lama Atisha’s guru, Dharmarakshita, wrote The Wheel of Sharp Weapons. Lama Atisha had 157 gurus, and among those were two root gurus. One is Dharmarakshita and the other is Lama Serlingpa, from whom he received the complete teaching on bodhicitta.

Lama Atisha travelled for thirteen months on the ocean by boat and then spent twelve years studying with Lama Serlingpa. Every time Lama Atisha heard Lama Serlingpa’s name, tears would come out, his hair would stand up and he would prostrate, putting his palms together. 

Another root guru is Dharmarakshita, who wrote The Wheel of Sharp Weapons, which says it’s very good to remember this when obstacles happen. There it’s related to sickness, but you should relate it to any problem. When you have unbearable pain, that is because you have harmed the bodies of the transmigratory beings. Now take every sickness, every pain of others on yourself.

Lama Atisha’s guru, Dharmarakshita said,

When I get unbearable suffering, unbearable pain,
That’s the karma of having harmed other transmigratory beings. 
The wheel of sharp weapons is turning on me.
(This means it’s the result of having harmed others).
From now on, I will take every single being’s pain on myself.
(This means letting others be free from the oceans of samsaric suffering).

Also, the great bodhisattva Shantideva said in A Guide to the Bodhisattva Way of Life (Bodhicaryavatara),

[6:47] My own karma persuaded others,
Then I received this harm from them.
Therefore, [when others harm me, they create the cause]
To be lost in the hole of the hell.

This is a very important quotation that you should remember every day, the first quotation and then this one. The first one is if a problem happened, it’s the result of your past karma of having harmed others. So the second quote means that instead of getting angry with those who harm you—the people or the insects that bite you—instead of getting angry, harming them back or killing them, you need to develop compassion. There’s no way to harm back or be angry; instead you give whatever help you can. So, this is to develop compassion.

What it’s saying is that it’s your karma from harming others that persuaded them to harm you this time. So that’s due to the previous karma. Then, that affects the person, who is now here in the human realm, but then they’re lost from here, where there’s incredible advantage. 

The human body is more precious than the sky filled with wish-granting jewels. Not only gold and diamonds but wish-granting jewels. This human body is so precious. By meeting Dharma, we purify negative karma, and by creating good karma, we can achieve a deva or human rebirth. Then by practicing morality, meditation and wisdom we can be free from the oceans of samsara and we can achieve ultimate happiness, liberation from samsara. Not only that, on the basis of that, we renounce the self-cherishing thought and we don’t fall into lower realms and then we achieve the great nirvana, the total cessation of obscurations, gross and subtle, and completion of realizations (sang gyä), buddhahood. We receive that for sentient beings. After that we liberate numberless sentient beings from the lower realms and free them from the oceans of samsaric suffering and lead them to enlightenment. That’s really [possible as a] human being. If we receive a human rebirth, we can do that. It’s most unbelievable.

So, because they’re harming you, then they create negative karma, so that causes them to lose their human body and be reborn in the hell realm. The hole is used as an example of those hells, where they’re experiencing that suffering for an unbelievable length of time, even eons. All that means you harmed that sentient being, that’s the evolution, so that’s totally your mistake. Therefore, the only thing to do is generate compassion for them. There’s no choice. You can only help in whatever way you can, even by reciting one mala of OM MANI PADME HUM. You have to help that person not to be reborn in the lower realms. To purify their negative karma, you do whatever you can.

Kadampa Geshe Chekawa said in the Seven-Point Thought Transformation:

Put all the blame on one. 

That means all the sufferings of the past, present and future are caused by the I. Therefore, whatever problems we encounter every day, we must recognize that immediately and put all the blame on one, the I, the self-cherishing thought. This means any problem, any disease, any undesirable thing, immediately we put the blame on the I.

Toward all others, we meditate that they’re incredibly precious and kind.

The Extensive Kindnesses of Sentient Beings

I’d like to explain the extensive kindnesses of sentient beings in these three ways.

1. All Our Happiness, Including Enlightenment, Comes from the Kindness of Sentient Beings

I’ll present the first extensive kindness of sentient beings in this way. A sentient being is any being with a mind. When we hear that term, we shouldn’t think only of those beings who have a human mind, but any being in general who has a mind. The definition of mind is “that which is clear and perceives objects.” Therefore a sentient being includes even the smallest organisms that we can’t see with our bare eyes but only through a microscope.

When someone is angry with us, harms us with their body or speech, dislikes us, is cruel to us, says nice things to our face but insults us behind our back, makes us feel disgusted or belittles us, because we interpret that being as harming us, we think of them as bad and call them “enemy.” Now, instead of getting angry with them, try to see that sentient being as having a suffering, obscured mind. From that, great compassion arises, and from that great compassion, bodhicitta arises. From that, the numberless bodhisattvas arise. From them, the numberless buddhas arise and from them, the numberless holy actions of the buddhas arise.

The actions of a buddha are called trin lä in Tibetan. Since this is an honorific word for “action,” I translate it into English as “holy action.” There are two kinds of holy action. One type exists in the buddhas’ mind and one exists within us sentient beings. The buddhas’ holy actions that exist in us are all our virtuous thoughts. From our virtuous thoughts—the buddhas’ holy actions—come all the happiness we have experienced from beginningless rebirths, all the happiness we are experiencing now and all the happiness we will experience in the future, including our future enlightenment.

Of course, before we achieve buddhahood, there is our virtuous thought—the buddhas’ holy action—the wisdom directly perceiving emptiness, the ultimate nature of phenomena. This is the true path that is holy Dharma. When we generate that wisdom, we become an arya Sangha. Then, when we complete the merits of virtue and merits of wisdom, we achieve their results, the holy body and holy mind of a buddha, the rupakaya and dharmakaya, and become a buddha. After we become a buddha, we cause other sentient beings to generate the true path, the wisdom directly perceiving emptiness, in their minds, at which time they become arya Sangha. Also, after we become a buddha, we cause numberless sentient beings to become buddhas.

So, all that and all our three-times happiness comes from the buddhas. Buddhas come from bodhisattvas, and bodhisattvas come from bodhicitta. Bodhicitta comes from great compassion, and great compassion comes from suffering obscured sentient beings. So, that means great compassion also comes from this specific sentient being who dislikes us, who doesn’t love us, who harms us with their body or speech. So, we can see now, very clearly and logically, that all our past happiness from beginningless rebirths, all our present happiness and all our future happiness totally come from this person, the one we call enemy.

Also, that we can achieve the Dharma (the absolute Dharma of true paths and true cessations), become a Sangha (an arya Sangha who has directly realized emptiness), then become a buddha (a fully enlightened being), and then cause numberless sentient beings to achieve the Dharma, become Sangha, and then become a buddha, all come from this person who we call “enemy.” Therefore, this person is most unbelievably precious for us. They are precious in the same way that money is considered very important and precious by everyone in the world, whether they are a king, a president or a beggar. This is because if people have money they can get whatever pleasant things they want.

Another example of something precious is land. This is regarded as precious because if we have land we can build a house on it or we can sell it. Because we can do so many things with it to achieve happiness for ourselves and others, land is regarded as very precious. Similarly, this person is most unbelievably precious. In fact, they are beyond precious.

These are just a couple of brief examples that show how this person who we think of as an enemy is precious and kind, but actually their kindness is way beyond these examples. This person is most precious, most dear, most kind and wish-fulfilling because from them we achieve all the temporary happinesses of this and future lives, the ultimate happiness of liberation from samsara, and the peerless happiness of the state of omniscience, buddhahood. The kindness of that person, if it materialized, would fill limitless space. Just as space has no limit, there is no limit to the kindness of that person.

So, the conclusion is that we receive all our past, present and future happiness, including enlightenment, due to the kindness of every hell being, every hungry ghost, every animal, every human being, every asura and every sura, each and every single sentient being, even the ants, mosquitos or tiny flies. Therefore they are most dear, most precious, most kind and wish-fulfilling. That all our happiness, including enlightenment, comes from sentient beings is one of the extensive kindnesses we receive from sentient beings.

2. All Sentient Beings Have Been Our Mother and Kind to Us in Four Ways

As I mentioned in detail above, all sentient beings have been our mother and kind to us in four ways: they gave us a human body (especially a perfect human rebirth with which we are able to meet and practice Dharma), protected us from many dangers, bore hardships for us and educated us in the ways of the world.

3. Shelter, Food, and Clothing Come to Us from the Kindness of Sentient Beings

i) Sentient Beings Suffered in Order for Us to Be Able to Have Shelter

The house we live in, which protects us from the elements, came to us from the suffering of many sentient beings. Many insects, such as ants, and many small animals, such as mice, were harmed and even killed to build the foundation of the house. On top of that, many human beings worked hard and created much negative karma to build it.

ii) Sentient Beings Suffered in Order for Us to Be Able to Have Food

Our food and drink also come to us from the suffering of many sentient beings. For example, the tiny sentient beings that live in water get killed in order to provide us with water that is safe to drink. The small insects that live on vegetables, fruit, grains and so forth, get harmed and killed in the production of food for us human beings. If we think back in time, even one grain of rice came to us from another grain of rice that came from another grain of rice and so on. Thus we can see that numberless sentient beings suffered even for this single grain of rice, let alone how many suffered for a plate of rice.

Also, the people who worked to produce the rice created much negative karma by harming and killing those sentient beings and, due to that, they will suffer and experience much harm in the future. Wow, wow, wow. Numberless sentient beings suffered and worked for our food. Therefore, if we eat it with attachment, just for our own happiness and just for the happiness of this life, that would be terrible. If we eat it only thinking of our own happiness and never think of other sentient beings’ happiness, and, in particular, the happiness of those who suffered and worked for that food, that would be very selfish and cruel.

Therefore, we should eat food for sentient beings, to be able to work for sentient beings with our body, speech, and mind in order to free them from suffering and achieve happiness for them. We should eat it not only to free them from the lower realms and bring them to a higher rebirth, but to free them from samsara and bring them to the everlasting happiness of nirvana. And not only that, we should eat it to free them even from that lower nirvana and bring them to great nirvana, enlightenment, the total cessation of both the gross and subtle obscurations and the completion of all realizations. This one time that we have received a human rebirth and have met the Mahayana teachings, we have this incredible opportunity to be of benefit to others. We are so fortunate, so fortunate, so fortunate to be able to do this.

iii) Sentient Beings Suffered in Order for Us to Be Able to Have Clothing

Our clothing also comes to us from the suffering of sentient beings. Of course, there’s no question that clothing made from animal skin or fur comes to us as a result of the killing of animals. Likewise, in the case of silk clothing, many silkworms were killed to make it. Those animals suffered so much for us to have this clothing. Then, on top of that, other human beings killed the animals and in doing so created much negative karma.

As well as clothing that comes from animals, we also wear clothing that comes from plants. It too comes to us from the suffering of animals and people. During its creation, many insects and small animals were killed in the fields, and many human beings worked hard and created negative karma to make it.

In short, if we examine any piece of clothing we wear, we will see that much suffering was involved in the process of making it. Therefore, the pleasure and protection that comes from wearing clothing is the result of many sentient beings experiencing harm and many people creating negative karma. It did not happen without causes and conditions; many sentient beings suffered and were killed for the clothing that we wear.

So, there’s no choice—we have to work for sentient beings. We have to stop harming sentient beings and instead do what we can to benefit them. This is the very foundation of Dharma practice.

You must really meditate on this again and again until you feel the kindness of sentient beings ever more deeply. The more you feel their kindness, the more the thought to harm them will naturally stop. You will come to a point where you won’t dare to harm others ever again.

In essence:

First, the sentient beings who were angry or harmed us are the source of all our happiness from beginningless rebirth, including enlightenment, everything.

Second the kindness of the mother in four ways.

Then, the kindness of [sentient beings who gave us] the happiness of protection for our body by having a house. When the house was built, so many sentient beings were killed, harmed or created negative karma.
Then for our survival each day [sentient beings give us] the happiness of eating food, drinking. For our vegetables and so forth, so many sentient beings, tiny sentient beings, all get harmed and killed by spraying, and even if we don’t use sprays, still by washing our food, we’re causing harm. For one grain of rice, so many human beings worked at many different times, and so many sentient beings were harmed and killed. This one grain of rice came from another grain of rice, and for that so many sentient beings worked very hard, then were harmed and killed. So, for thousands of years, for numberless grains of rice, numberless sentient beings suffered and were killed or died for this rice.

If we eat just for our happiness, only for that, it is terrible, most terrible, ugly. Therefore, if we are eating this food, there’s no choice, we have to benefit the sentient beings. We can see that numberless sentient beings died, were harmed and created negative karma for this one grain of rice, all that.

Besides that, for the animal skin clothing or shoes, there is unbelievable suffering and so many sentient beings are killed. Even the clothes made of animal skin or fur, so many sentient beings worked for that and killed or harmed other sentient beings so much. So that’s how we have the happiness of eating food and the happiness of wearing clothing and so forth.

Meditating on the kindness of others means like that. So meditate on their kindness, which includes all these basic meditations that I’ve introduced.

Also, Lama Serlingpa said,

The I is the root of all the negative karma, so the I is to be abandoned immediately.
Others are the object of your enlightenment, so they should be cherished immediately.

There are 424 diseases that are harming us, and there are 360 spirit possessors and 1,080 interferers. All those are harming the I, the self-cherishing thought. Including the 424 diseases, including pain, all these are harming the I, which means they are extremely positive, not negative. The main enemy to bodhicitta is the self-cherishing thought, the I, so all these are destroying the enemy, the self-cherishing thought, the I. Then what happens is we’re able to develop, to arise bodhicitta, cherishing others, and from that we can achieve enlightenment. So then we can bring every sentient being to enlightenment after we ourselves achieve enlightenment.

So all these things are benefiting us. All these are normally regarded as negative or bad, but actually they’re the best thing, the most precious thing, because they destroy our enemy, the I, the self-cherishing thought. The benefits that we get by harming the self-cherishing thought, the I, are incredible, more than skies of benefit. All the things that are regarded as harming us are unbelievably precious and benefit us because they destroy the enemy, the self-cherishing thought, which doesn’t allow us to achieve enlightenment and enlighten sentient beings.

Therefore, in reality all these 424 diseases, the 360 spirit possessors and 1,080 types of interferers, all these are incredibly precious support.

It is mentioned also in the Bodhicaryavatara, “If you’re holding fire in your hand, and you don’t let go of the fire, the burning can’t be stopped. Similarly, if you don’t give up the I, the suffering cannot be stopped. Therefore, to pacify the suffering of yourself and to pacify the suffering of others, give yourself up for others, and cherish others like yourself.”

[8:134] If all the injury,
Fear and pain in this world
Arise from grasping at a self,
Then what use is that great ghost to me?

[8:135] If I do not completely forsake it
I shall be unable to put an end to suffering,
Just as I cannot avoid being burnt
If I do not cast aside the fire (I hold).

[8:136] Therefore, in order to allay the harms inflicted upon me
And in order to pacify the sufferings of others,
I shall give myself up to others
And cherish them as I do my very self.

And in the Lama Chöpa, Guru Puja, composed by the great enlightened being Panchen Losang Chokyi Gyaltsen, it is mentioned:

[LC 91] This chronic disease of cherishing myself
Is the cause giving rise to my unsought suffering.
Perceiving this, I seek your blessings to blame, begrudge,
And destroy the monstrous demon of selfishness

Here it is saying that cherishing the I is the cause of all the undesirable sufferings, all the things we dislike, the conditions, even black magic, all the obstacles, misfortunes. Therefore we’re asking for blessings to be able to destroy this self-cherishing thought, the great demon.

Not only do we think that all the problems are caused by the self-cherishing thought, the great demon, but we give all this back immediately to the great demon, the self-cherishing thought, and destroy it, just as in an outside war a bomb is thrown right on the enemy, destroying it, making it nonexistent. Similarly, we destroy the inner enemy.

If we don’t have the inner enemy, there’s no outside enemy. Every outside enemy is destroyed by destroying our inner enemy.

As Nagarjuna said,

As long as we destroy our enemy by killing them—this means the outside enemy—the outside enemy does not finish but only increases more and more. But by killing the inner enemy, anger, then all the outside enemies are killed. They don’t exist; we don’t have them.

According to Lama Chöpa, we not only stop harbouring the enemy, but all the problems that arise, we give them back, like throwing an atomic bomb on the enemy, then according to the deeper subject, we destroy the self-cherishing thought. It’s an incredible practice if we can do that with our problems, our health problems. That’s an incredible practice.

In the Lama Chöpa it’s mentioned,

[LC 92] The mind that cherishes mothers (the sentient beings) and places them in bliss
Is the gateway leading to infinite qualities.
(That means up to enlightenment, all the qualities of the buddhas and bodhisattvas.)
Seeing this, I seek your blessings to cherish these transmigratory beings
More than my life, even should they rise up as my enemies.

This is an incredible practice, the best psychology, the best meditation, the best Dharma practice, the best medicine. That means leading even one sentient being to happiness is the door to receiving infinite qualities, including enlightenment. It is mentioned like that, so it’s unbelievably precious to cherish even one sentient being. It’s unbelievably, unbelievably precious. It’s the door to receiving all the qualities of the buddhas and bodhisattvas.

I think I have spoken quite a bit, so I’m sorry. I’ll stop here. If you can read this advice again and again, it’s so good. It’s an unbelievable practice. Thank you very much. Also, please let me know.

Also, this is very good when health problems come, if you can do tonglen. You can think you’re experiencing all sentient beings’ suffering. When you experience the problem for numberless sentient beings that can help stop it. Even if you don’t do the actual practice, even just thinking that way can help.

Thank you very much, billions and zillions.

My most dear, most kind, most precious, wish-fulfilling one,

For anxiety, it is very good to look at yourself as empty: subject empty, action empty, object empty.

Empty doesn’t mean nothing; it means empty of existing from its own side, it means that. Mainly it’s looking at the creator, oneself, as empty of existing from its own side, totally false. There’s you, but [the view that] you are existing from there is totally false.

We come into existence because there’s the valid base, the aggregates, and then the valid mind labels “I”, so like that, the valid mind focusing on the aggregates then merely imputes I. The mind not only labels I but also merely imputes I. We can start with the label and then finalize that, then the subtlest thing is merely labeled, that’s it. Nothing exists from its own side; no I exists from its own side, nothing.

If we think there is something real from there, anything from there, anything real, that is a total hallucination, totally non-existent. That’s what we should meditate on even for lifetimes, for many lifetimes, many years, months, weeks, days, always, so have mindfulness of that.

After training the mind like that, as we realize this, just as the I, action, object, samsara and nirvana, hell and enlightenment, happiness and problems, all that, exists, then we see that what exists is like a mirage.

It’s like the very hot sun heating the sand and when we cross there’s no water at all, but after some time, when we have crossed the sand and then look back, there’s water running in our view, so like that. We know there’s no water at all; we just realized that when we came there. When we look back, there’s [the appearance of] water, but we know there’s no water, that it’s a false view.

That’s what mindfulness of the I, action, object, everything, the whole thing, is. That’s how we should come to see our life, so there’s no basis at all for attachment, anger, ignorance, pride, jealous mind, all those things. So that’s fantastic. There’s no basis to arise any delusion because there’s no basis for the object of ignorance, the root of samsara, the root of the oceans of samsaric suffering holding the I, action and object, all the phenomena. They appear as something real from there, but all those, for example, the I, are not true.

As I mentioned before, on the valid base, the aggregates, the thought which is focusing on that then labels, merely imputes “I”. Therefore, that’s all that exists, the I is not more than that, there’s nothing slightly more than that. Anything, the slightest thing more than that, appearing from there, that is a hallucination, a total hallucination, that is what is empty, that’s what we should meditate on, to see that, to realize that.

So then as I explained the mirage, as a result we see things as merely labeled. Things are happening, but like a mirage, nothing is real and everything [exists in mere name]. The I exists in mere name, action exists in mere name, the object exists in mere name, samsara exists in mere name, nirvana exists in mere name, enlightenment exists in mere name, hell exists in mere name, happiness exists in mere name, suffering exists in mere name, everything exists in mere name, everything; we are working in mere name, creating good karma in mere name, creating bad karma in mere name.

The more you meditate on this, then your anxiety will become less and less. Anxiety is built on the basis of the hallucination, the truly existent I, the I existing from its own side, by its nature, the real I.

Thank you very much.

In terms of your practice, according to my observation, regarding your yidam, there are Tara Cittamani, Secret Vajrapani and Most Secret Hayagriva. Choose whichever deity you have a stronger or closer feeling for. Sometimes you can have two deities, not only one. So for any of them you can do the initiation and then do the practice.

You can do retreat on the main deity after you’ve received the commentary. You can do the enabling retreat, the short retreat, or the long three-year retreat. Those who are able to do a three-year retreat can do that, but [not] everyone has to do a three-year retreat.

Guru Shakyamuni Buddha taught the 84,000 teachings in three levels: the Lesser Vehicle teachings, the Greater Vehicle teachings of sutra and the Greater Vehicle teachings of tantra. All those three are embodied into the lamrim, the graduated path to enlightenment.

The lamrim has the graduated path of the lower capable being in general, the graduated path of the middle capable being in general and the graduated path of the greater capable being, so like that. Then this is condensed even more than that into the three principal aspects of the path to enlightenment: renunciation, bodhicitta and the right view.

So for you, the particular lamrim text that you should mainly read and study is the Middle Lamrim, but also Essence Of Refined Gold. Read this mindfully from beginning to end, so that it becomes a meditation, in order to actualize the path to enlightenment.

Study the Middle-Length Lamrim or The Essential Nectar, you can also use the Essence of Refined Gold outline, but the commentaries of those two and also Liberation in the Palm of Your Hand, and any other lamrims, you can read those, then integrate that into the main one, the Middle-Length Lamrim. Also read Essence Of Refined Gold if you need something in order to find clarity. You should do this three times.

Then do effortful lamrim meditation:

• Five months: correctly devoting to the virtuous friend, going over the lamrim outlines with meditation.
• One month: the graduated path of the lower capable being in general.
• Eleven months: the graduated path of middle capable being in general.
• Four months: bodhicitta, divided week-by-week into the three sections: the special kindness, exchanging self for others, the seven-point Mahayana cause and effect instruction, and the third week division, remembering the kindness by receiving protection and comfort through our house, food, clothing, like that.
• Two months: emptiness.

The section on shamatha you can learn, but your meditation to actualize that has to be in the future, when you’re equipped to do that. So that’s in the future.

Cycle through the lamrim outline four times, then do effortless meditation.

This part relates to the deity, the yidam. If you don’t have the great initiation of the deity, you can still recite the mantras for a while and if you want, I can give you the lung by audio and then while reciting, you can make prayers and requests for realizations. This is after you have decided which of the three deities you have the strongest feeling toward. There is no rush for this.

Preliminaries

• Refuge: 50,000.
• Tonglen: 100,000. This is an extraordinarily powerful practice to develop bodhicitta, it’s like a bodhisattva hero practice. Like, for example, when we’re so brave and we just run to the enemy alone, we’re able to run. Like that, we are giving up the self-cherishing thought and cherishing other sentient beings, serving sentient beings, experiencing their suffering and the cause, karma and delusion, taking it on ourselves, then leading them to enlightenment, like that practice. And we give all our happiness, our possessions, body and merits of the three times to them. Tonglen is a very powerful practice, each time we do this tonglen, taking the suffering of others or giving [our happiness, possessions and merit] to them. Then we become closer to enlightenment and we benefit every single sentient being—every single hell being, every single hungry ghost, every single animal, and that means every single animal in the ocean, every single animal under the ground, in the bushes, in the trees, and in the body of the animals and the human beings, all those tiny creatures, whatever they are called, germs and all those tiny things, also the numberless humans, suras and asuras.
• Tsa tsas: 20,000, dividing between Mitukpa, Chenrezig, and Manjushri.
• Water bowls: 10,000.
• Prostrations while reciting the names of the Thirty-five Buddhas: 50,000.
• Lama Tsongkhapa Guru Yoga: 120,000, reciting the Migtsema mantra, counting that with meditation.
• Nyung näs: Do as many as possible each year, whatever you can. Just do whatever you can; there’s not a specific number. It’s the greatest purification and the way to collect merit, to generate compassion for all sentient beings, to quickly attain enlightenment and to attain pure land.

Recite OM MANI PADME HUM all the time, whatever you are doing, when you are working you can recite from the mouth, when you are jogging or walking, just as Tibetans recite it all the time. You can also recite this mantra while in sitting meditation; it is so good. There are books explaining the meaning and the benefits of the mantra. Later, I am also planning to produce one book and then you can get that.

You are most welcome to enlightenment.

With much love and prayers ...

My most dear, was kind, most precious, wish-fulfilling one,
According to my observation you should take one precious pill called Rinchen Ratna Samphel but you can’t expose it to light. It’s wrapped in cloth, so you cut the knots around the cloth, then you put it in your mouth to keep it dark and then remove the cloth. You can crush it with your teeth and drink with water slowly, early in the morning.

Also, for two weeks take one moon crystal precious pill (Rinchen Tsotru Dashel Chenmo). Take one pill each week for two weeks.

Recite Vajra Armour mantra every day. Do this like a retreat for three days with sessions, and then after three days you can do one mala per day. This mantra helps with many problems and disease.

Recite the mantra from the Sutra of Great Liberation twenty-one times or seven times. It’s incredibly precious, most precious; it purifies negativities and obscurations and brings you to enlightenment quickly.

You can also do Vajrasattva practice, which is a common purification. If you don’t recite Vajrasattva mantra, then your negative karma only increases.

It’s important to recite one mala or half a mala of the long mantra every day, or at least recite it twenty-one times, or recite the short mantra, OM VAJRASATTVA HUM, twenty-eight times. This stops the negative karma from multiplying to double by the next day. It purifies the negative karma from today and yesterday and from the past.

[If the negative karma is not purified] after fifteen days it increases, and just one negative karma—just one, every single negative karma of body, speech, and mind—becomes 18,184, then after eighteen days it becomes 100,072. Both explanations come from Pabongka, the great enlightened being of Tibet.

[Vajrasattva practice] stops that increase and purifies that, so there are twenty-eight recitations of the short mantra or twenty-one recitations of the long mantra. Also, recite 100,000 if you break the tantric vows or anything like that. The root downfalls get purified, also the bodhisattva and tantric vows.

The wise ones, even if they had heavy negative karma, it becomes small, and the foolish ones, even if their negative karma is small, it becomes heavy.

This means the foolish ones who don’t know Dharma practice or Vajrasattva practice, their negative karma collected with body, speech and mind may be small, but each day, and day-by-day, it increases, then when they die, each negative karma becomes like a mountain. Then for eons, they are reborn in the lower realms and it’s difficult to be born in the higher realms, the happy realms of devas and human beings.

Wise ones, even if their negative karma is heavy, but they know Vajrasattva, they know the technique, then their negativities become small. They don’t have to experience suffering at all or they just have some problems in this life as a result of their past heavy negative karma, compared to suffering for many eons in the lower realms.

Also the other one, if there is not strong purification, they are still reborn in the lower realms, but just for a short second, a moment, a lesser or shorter time, like that.

If you have a chance to study the Bodhicaryavatara (A Guide to the Bodhisattva Way of Life) then do that, or read my book, Bodhichitta, then live the life with bodhicitta.

I wanted you also to have these cards to remember bodhicitta, Compassion is of the Utmost Need and Live with Compassion. [Find links to these printable cards in the FPMT Catalogue.]

Thank you very much.

With much love and prayers ...

My very, very dear one,
No need to worry. The thoughts have no meaning; please don't give them meaning, they have no essence! Look at your thoughts as having no essence; they are just thoughts with no meaning; don't give them any meaning. They come and go, don't identify with them. Treat them this way. They are empty from their own side.

Remember how all the three realms’ sentient beings are suffering. They have so much suffering. The neighboring [hell beings’] suffering, the ordinary hell beings’ suffering and the hungry ghosts’ suffering—wow, it’s unbelievable—it’s for thousands of years or ten thousand years, like that, so long. Then all the animals’ suffering—the animals in the ocean, all kinds, the smallest ones you can’t see with the eye but with a machine, and the large ones like a mountain, whales and all kinds, that look like rocks, flowers and trees; there are all kinds of sentient beings.

And then in the bushes, under the ground, in the trees, in the sky, in our body and in the animal’s body, there are all kinds of sentient beings, and there are numberless universes, so not only those in this world. So numberless human beings, numberless sura beings, numberless asura beings, numberless intermediate state beings. We have been suffering and all those beings have been suffering from beginningless rebirths because of the wrong concept.

Actually your thinking—the thought coming of various weapons and wanting to kill yourself—actually, there’s no real I to kill, so that is totally childish, that is totally nonsense. There’s no actual I that exists, so there’s nothing to kill. Thinking there’s a real I is a hallucination; from the beginning, there’s no real I, so it’s a hallucination to kill.

There’s no real doer, I, the harm-giver, there’s no action of harm-giving and there’s no object to be harmed, there’s no object, there’s no you to be harmed. So there’s no creator of negative karma, you, there’s no action creating negative karma, and there’s no object, the negative karma created from beginningless rebirth. It’s all totally empty, it does not exist at all. That’s the reality, that’s what we have to think, to meditate on and to practice mindfulness of, all the time.

So meditate on this even while you are eating, even while you are on the toilet doing pipi or kaka, and while you’re walking. You know you can do very excellent meditation while you’re walking. Sometimes you can recite the Heart Sutra and meditate. You can find commentaries around, so read the commentaries and learn about that.

However, the essence of what I want to say is this: there are no real things that appear and that we believe in from beginningless rebirth. The oceans of samsaric suffering, all the six realms’ [beings] have been suffering numberless times from beginningless rebirth and if we still don’t realize emptiness, if we don’t learn about emptiness, particularly Dharma, particularly emptiness, then we’ll have to be reborn in samsara numberless times and then suffer everything again, numberless times. This is the best opportunity, now we have received a human body, we can learn Dharma and practice Dharma. 

You were born into a Buddhist family, people, so it gives you the opportunity to learn Buddhism. Otherwise if you were born with totally no interest in Buddhism, no understanding, then it’s very difficult. The most precious human body, this human life is totally, totally wasted, and not only wasted, but day and night you continuously create negative karma to be born in the lower realms, the hell realms, for eons and eons. You are so fortunate that you’re born in a Buddhist family and you have the opportunity to learn Buddhism, so please meditate on what I have said.

So all those thoughts that arise, for example, about weapons, there’s no such thing. As I mentioned, the doer, action and object are all just a complete, total hallucination.

It is a spirit that is causing this harm to you. It’s not your mind, it’s a spirit that is causing this harm to you, think like that. Many of the people who commit suicide in the West have no idea of that; they have [not] learned that it’s connected to spirit harm. Often it is because of generally having some problem with attachment or anger or something, you know, because of the self-cherishing thought, and they miss so much not getting something they want.

Then, relating to that outside spirit, as you know, the spirit also came from the mind. Everything came from the mind including the I. So the spirit then contacts us and tries to harm to us. It makes us think all sorts of things, like jumping from a roof or jumping from a bridge, and all kinds of things. It makes us think and do it. It’s very common, the spirit overwhelms us and it becomes sort of like the driver of a car; it drives our life, drives our mind, kind of like that.

You should think these are not your thoughts. So many people think they are their own thoughts, and then they follow that thought and it takes just a minute to kill themselves. What happens is, I think, then the spirit harms them. Then after they are killed they get reborn as the spirit’s surrounding servant, so it becomes like that.

If you can, recite the Heart Sutra and please find the commentary by His Holiness, then it’s very good, and also meditate on this. You should also read the White Umbrella Deity prayer three times. This is very, very important; it’s such a powerful deity for pacifying spirit harm. But if you meditate on emptiness, that is the best, most powerful thing.

Rinpoche checked more and gave this additional advice:

• His Holiness the Dalai Lama taught the Heart Sutra in San Jose at the request of FPMT in around 2001. A book was made of those teachings, called Essence of the Heart Sutra: the Dalai Lama’s Heart of Wisdom Teachings. Use this for study and just reading it in a contemplative way will be meditating.
• Read this in a contemplative way again and again. This will be the same as meditating on emptiness. Be patient and do when you can. Keep at it regularly.
• Rinpoche will do dü kar [White Umbrella Deity] puja for you.
• You should recite the White Umbrella Deity prayer three times. Do this once a day.
• Recite the Mantra Promised by Tara. Try to do this as much as you can. This is also good for general success.

My most dear, most kind, most precious, wish-fulfilling one,
I received your email and letter and read them. I checked and you need some pujas done:

• 100 meat and 100 food offering [Tib: Shakya Sega].  It comes out best if Ven. Samten, the monk who lives at Land of Medicine Buddha, does this for you.
• Drugchuma puja: to be done by Geshe Jinpa and Ven. Tendar at Kopan Monastery.

It is very important to practice thought transformation for any sickness or problem that you are experiencing. Bodhisattvas use any difficulty to be able to practice thought transformation and this is best, so this is what you should try to do. You can take the suffering of all sentient beings, particularly those who have similar problems, and experience not only the problems but also the causes, including the obscurations, the negative karma. Take that into your heart and destroy the self-cherishing thought, the ignorance, the root of samsara.

There is no I at all existing from its own side, only what exists in mere name, only in mere name.

Believing that [the I] exists from its own side and is real, that concept is the root of samsara. So you need to destroy that because it is the root of samsara, from which the oceans of suffering of the six realms come. You have experienced this [suffering] already numberless times from beginningless rebirths and you will also experience it in the future, numberless times without end, if you don’t experience the four noble truths in this life, practice the direct perception of emptiness.

So you should do that. Therefore the problem become very precious, because you are taking their problems into your heart and experiencing and destroying that, from where the self-cherishing thought—ignorance, the root of samsara, believing the I is truly existent, real—comes.

By doing that you are able to realize emptiness and bodhicitta. Those two things, method and wisdom, are the most important basic things, and with that you can practice tantra. If you practice correctly you can achieve enlightenment, as the Buddha taught. You can achieve full enlightenment in this very lifetime, even in a very brief life of degenerate time.

It becomes the most powerful purification of all the obscurations and negative karma collected since beginningless rebirth and is the way to collect the most extensive merits, which are the cause of achieving realizations on the path to enlightenment. That is the quickest way to achieve enlightenment. In reality, from this you are practicing Mahayana teachings, especially thought transformation, lojong, by experiencing the problems as so precious, like a jewel.

So practice like this, doing lojong. If you can, read my other teachings on lojong and how to use difficult situations on the path. This will help you to elaborate and understand how to use the difficulties on the path. [Rinpoche’s books include Transforming Problems and The Door to Satisfaction. You can also find more advice in Rinpoche's Online Advice Book.]

The other puja you need is the Prajnaparamita in 8,000 verses (Tib: gyetongpa Wyl: brgyad stong pa). You can contact Kopan nunnery and ask them to recite this. Tell them that this is my advice and is what is needed for you. Give your name and ask them to make strong dedications for you to have a meaningful life and to be healthy, to not have problems. Say to the nuns that I requested they read well for you and also for all sentient beings.

If you can, recite at least three malas a day of Vajrapani Garuda Hayagriva mantra. Recite at least one or two malas, but it is best if you can do three malas a day.

So this is my advice. Please try this. Try to make your life most meaningful with the thought of bodhicitta day and night, and in all your actions.

With much love and prayers ...

Please give this to your husband to read and even it doesn’t make sense now, he should read it again and again:

First, accept that this is the nature of life. Since birth we do not have total freedom; we are totally under the control of delusion and karma and that is the basis of suffering. So generate in your mind [the wish] to be totally free from the cause of suffering—delusion and karma. That means your own mind, not someone else’s mind. It is your mind that is the cause of your suffering, that creates delusion and karma. Now for your own mind to be free—for you to be free from delusion and karma—it is by actualizing the path in your own mind.

Then in particular [by realizing] the ultimate wisdom, by directly perceiving the ultimate reality of the I, you are able to free yourself from the suffering of death, rebirth, old age, sickness and so forth. You will also become free from the second type of suffering, the suffering of change, which is all those temporary sufferings that are labelled pleasures.

All those sufferings arise from pervasive compounding suffering. The third suffering is pervasive, so that means your aggregates are under the control of delusion and karma, therefore they are pervaded by suffering. [The aggregates] are contaminated by the seed of delusion and karma, and from that seed, delusion arises again, and suffering arises again. So that’s how it compounds. Therefore we need to be free from this pervasive compounding suffering and then we will be totally free from the sufferings of death, rebirth, old age and sickness—from the suffering of pain and the suffering of change.

With Dharma happiness we can continue and develop, and that is when we become totally free; by developing this we will be totally free from pervasive compounded suffering, forever! So then we achieve nirvana, the blissful state of peace for ourselves. Then we can free others, the numberless living beings, from suffering and the cause of suffering—delusion and karma—and bring them to peerless happiness, the total cessation of obscurations and completion of realizations, full enlightenment.

This is the reason why we first need to accept whatever problems we have, because that is the nature of life, of the undeveloped mind. It is the nature of life, it is the mistakes of our life that we have to accept. Then our problems become much smaller or there are no problems.

This is a huge thing and understanding this makes a huge difference in our life, whether we have happiness or whether we have problems.

Carefully watch the mind with mindfulness and consciousness, with remembrance that the mind is meditating on the mind. Have mindfulness or consciousness of this, so the mind is not wandering outside.

Carefully the mind watches the mind, like police watching a thief or as if you are watching a thief. First you think the thief is your friend, but then you realize that person is a thief, so you are watching that. Do that for a while, maybe for the first meditation.

Then in the next meditation, afterward or at a later time, you can first look at the I. There is a real I which has been appearing from beginningless rebirths and that we believe one hundred percent. Then there is the merely labelled I, which appears like that, we see the I like that.

What is correct and what is incorrect? The first belief, the real I from beginningless time, is the wrong, hallucinated mind. We believe that is correct but it is wrong. The merely labelled I, believing the I is merely labelled, that is correct.

For us, our mind is so habituated in the hallucination and hallucinating mind from beginningless rebirths, so for our mind it seems the first one [the real I] is right and the second one [the merely labelled I] is wrong. It seems the second one does not exist. But that is completely opposite.

For those who have the right wisdom, they have the realization that the real I—that which has been appearing from beginningless rebirths—is totally false and believing in that is a wrong concept. They realize that the I exists in mere name, merely labelled by the mind. So in the view of that mind, they can see what is right and what is wrong.

Please read this slowly again and again. It might not make sense to begin with. Later, after some time, if you like I will send you more information. But first do this, try this and later maybe I can send you more information.

I am also making prayers for you.

With much love and prayers ...