Anxiety and Panic Disorder

My most dear, most kind, most precious, wish-fulfilling one,

For anxiety, it is very good to look at yourself as empty: subject empty, action empty, object empty.

Empty doesn’t mean nothing; it means empty of existing from its own side, it means that. Mainly it’s looking at the creator, oneself, as empty of existing from its own side, totally false. There’s you, but [the view that] you are existing from there is totally false.

We come into existence because there’s the valid base, the aggregates, and then the valid mind labels “I”, so like that, the valid mind focusing on the aggregates then merely imputes I. The mind not only labels I but also merely imputes I. We can start with the label and then finalize that, then the subtlest thing is merely labeled, that’s it. Nothing exists from its own side; no I exists from its own side, nothing.

If we think there is something real from there, anything from there, anything real, that is a total hallucination, totally non-existent. That’s what we should meditate on even for lifetimes, for many lifetimes, many years, months, weeks, days, always, so have mindfulness of that.

After training the mind like that, as we realize this, just as the I, action, object, samsara and nirvana, hell and enlightenment, happiness and problems, all that, exists, then we see that what exists is like a mirage.

It’s like the very hot sun heating the sand and when we cross there’s no water at all, but after some time, when we have crossed the sand and then look back, there’s water running in our view, so like that. We know there’s no water at all; we just realized that when we came there. When we look back, there’s [the appearance of] water, but we know there’s no water, that it’s a false view.

That’s what mindfulness of the I, action, object, everything, the whole thing, is. That’s how we should come to see our life, so there’s no basis at all for attachment, anger, ignorance, pride, jealous mind, all those things. So that’s fantastic. There’s no basis to arise any delusion because there’s no basis for the object of ignorance, the root of samsara, the root of the oceans of samsaric suffering holding the I, action and object, all the phenomena. They appear as something real from there, but all those, for example, the I, are not true.

As I mentioned before, on the valid base, the aggregates, the thought which is focusing on that then labels, merely imputes “I”. Therefore, that’s all that exists, the I is not more than that, there’s nothing slightly more than that. Anything, the slightest thing more than that, appearing from there, that is a hallucination, a total hallucination, that is what is empty, that’s what we should meditate on, to see that, to realize that.

So then as I explained the mirage, as a result we see things as merely labeled. Things are happening, but like a mirage, nothing is real and everything [exists in mere name]. The I exists in mere name, action exists in mere name, the object exists in mere name, samsara exists in mere name, nirvana exists in mere name, enlightenment exists in mere name, hell exists in mere name, happiness exists in mere name, suffering exists in mere name, everything exists in mere name, everything; we are working in mere name, creating good karma in mere name, creating bad karma in mere name.

The more you meditate on this, then your anxiety will become less and less. Anxiety is built on the basis of the hallucination, the truly existent I, the I existing from its own side, by its nature, the real I.

Thank you very much.

In terms of your practice, according to my observation, regarding your yidam, there are Tara Cittamani, Secret Vajrapani and Most Secret Hayagriva. Choose whichever deity you have a stronger or closer feeling for. Sometimes you can have two deities, not only one. So for any of them you can do the initiation and then do the practice.

You can do retreat on the main deity after you’ve received the commentary. You can do the enabling retreat, the short retreat, or the long three-year retreat. Those who are able to do a three-year retreat can do that, but [not] everyone has to do a three-year retreat.

Guru Shakyamuni Buddha taught the 84,000 teachings in three levels: the Lesser Vehicle teachings, the Greater Vehicle teachings of sutra and the Greater Vehicle teachings of tantra. All those three are embodied into the lamrim, the graduated path to enlightenment.

The lamrim has the graduated path of the lower capable being in general, the graduated path of the middle capable being in general and the graduated path of the greater capable being, so like that. Then this is condensed even more than that into the three principal aspects of the path to enlightenment: renunciation, bodhicitta and the right view.

So for you, the particular lamrim text that you should mainly read and study is the Middle Lamrim, but also Essence Of Refined Gold. Read this mindfully from beginning to end, so that it becomes a meditation, in order to actualize the path to enlightenment.

Study the Middle-Length Lamrim or The Essential Nectar, you can also use the Essence of Refined Gold outline, but the commentaries of those two and also Liberation in the Palm of Your Hand, and any other lamrims, you can read those, then integrate that into the main one, the Middle-Length Lamrim. Also read Essence Of Refined Gold if you need something in order to find clarity. You should do this three times.

Then do effortful lamrim meditation:

• Five months: correctly devoting to the virtuous friend, going over the lamrim outlines with meditation.
• One month: the graduated path of the lower capable being in general.
• Eleven months: the graduated path of middle capable being in general.
• Four months: bodhicitta, divided week-by-week into the three sections: the special kindness, exchanging self for others, the seven-point Mahayana cause and effect instruction, and the third week division, remembering the kindness by receiving protection and comfort through our house, food, clothing, like that.
• Two months: emptiness.

The section on shamatha you can learn, but your meditation to actualize that has to be in the future, when you’re equipped to do that. So that’s in the future.

Cycle through the lamrim outline four times, then do effortless meditation.

This part relates to the deity, the yidam. If you don’t have the great initiation of the deity, you can still recite the mantras for a while and if you want, I can give you the lung by audio and then while reciting, you can make prayers and requests for realizations. This is after you have decided which of the three deities you have the strongest feeling toward. There is no rush for this.

Preliminaries

• Refuge: 50,000.
• Tonglen: 100,000. This is an extraordinarily powerful practice to develop bodhicitta, it’s like a bodhisattva hero practice. Like, for example, when we’re so brave and we just run to the enemy alone, we’re able to run. Like that, we are giving up the self-cherishing thought and cherishing other sentient beings, serving sentient beings, experiencing their suffering and the cause, karma and delusion, taking it on ourselves, then leading them to enlightenment, like that practice. And we give all our happiness, our possessions, body and merits of the three times to them. Tonglen is a very powerful practice, each time we do this tonglen, taking the suffering of others or giving [our happiness, possessions and merit] to them. Then we become closer to enlightenment and we benefit every single sentient being—every single hell being, every single hungry ghost, every single animal, and that means every single animal in the ocean, every single animal under the ground, in the bushes, in the trees, and in the body of the animals and the human beings, all those tiny creatures, whatever they are called, germs and all those tiny things, also the numberless humans, suras and asuras.
• Tsa tsas: 20,000, dividing between Mitukpa, Chenrezig, and Manjushri.
• Water bowls: 10,000.
• Prostrations while reciting the names of the Thirty-five Buddhas: 50,000.
• Lama Tsongkhapa Guru Yoga: 120,000, reciting the Migtsema mantra, counting that with meditation.
• Nyung näs: Do as many as possible each year, whatever you can. Just do whatever you can; there’s not a specific number. It’s the greatest purification and the way to collect merit, to generate compassion for all sentient beings, to quickly attain enlightenment and to attain pure land.

Recite OM MANI PADME HUM all the time, whatever you are doing, when you are working you can recite from the mouth, when you are jogging or walking, just as Tibetans recite it all the time. You can also recite this mantra while in sitting meditation; it is so good. There are books explaining the meaning and the benefits of the mantra. Later, I am also planning to produce one book and then you can get that.

You are most welcome to enlightenment.

With much love and prayers ...

My most dear, was kind, most precious, wish-fulfilling one,
According to my observation you should take one precious pill called Rinchen Ratna Samphel but you can’t expose it to light. It’s wrapped in cloth, so you cut the knots around the cloth, then you put it in your mouth to keep it dark and then remove the cloth. You can crush it with your teeth and drink with water slowly, early in the morning.

Also, for two weeks take one moon crystal precious pill (Rinchen Tsotru Dashel Chenmo). Take one pill each week for two weeks.

Recite Vajra Armour mantra every day. Do this like a retreat for three days with sessions, and then after three days you can do one mala per day. This mantra helps with many problems and disease.

Recite the mantra from the Sutra of Great Liberation twenty-one times or seven times. It’s incredibly precious, most precious; it purifies negativities and obscurations and brings you to enlightenment quickly.

You can also do Vajrasattva practice, which is a common purification. If you don’t recite Vajrasattva mantra, then your negative karma only increases.

It’s important to recite one mala or half a mala of the long mantra every day, or at least recite it twenty-one times, or recite the short mantra, OM VAJRASATTVA HUM, twenty-eight times. This stops the negative karma from multiplying to double by the next day. It purifies the negative karma from today and yesterday and from the past.

[If the negative karma is not purified] after fifteen days it increases, and just one negative karma—just one, every single negative karma of body, speech, and mind—becomes 18,184, then after eighteen days it becomes 100,072. Both explanations come from Pabongka, the great enlightened being of Tibet.

[Vajrasattva practice] stops that increase and purifies that, so there are twenty-eight recitations of the short mantra or twenty-one recitations of the long mantra. Also, recite 100,000 if you break the tantric vows or anything like that. The root downfalls get purified, also the bodhisattva and tantric vows.

The wise ones, even if they had heavy negative karma, it becomes small, and the foolish ones, even if their negative karma is small, it becomes heavy.

This means the foolish ones who don’t know Dharma practice or Vajrasattva practice, their negative karma collected with body, speech and mind may be small, but each day, and day-by-day, it increases, then when they die, each negative karma becomes like a mountain. Then for eons, they are reborn in the lower realms and it’s difficult to be born in the higher realms, the happy realms of devas and human beings.

Wise ones, even if their negative karma is heavy, but they know Vajrasattva, they know the technique, then their negativities become small. They don’t have to experience suffering at all or they just have some problems in this life as a result of their past heavy negative karma, compared to suffering for many eons in the lower realms.

Also the other one, if there is not strong purification, they are still reborn in the lower realms, but just for a short second, a moment, a lesser or shorter time, like that.

If you have a chance to study the Bodhicaryavatara (A Guide to the Bodhisattva Way of Life) then do that, or read my book, Bodhichitta, then live the life with bodhicitta.

I wanted you also to have these cards to remember bodhicitta, Compassion is of the Utmost Need and Live with Compassion. [Find links to these printable cards in the FPMT Catalogue.]

Thank you very much.

With much love and prayers ...

My very, very dear one,
No need to worry. The thoughts have no meaning; please don't give them meaning, they have no essence! Look at your thoughts as having no essence; they are just thoughts with no meaning; don't give them any meaning. They come and go, don't identify with them. Treat them this way. They are empty from their own side.

Remember how all the three realms’ sentient beings are suffering. They have so much suffering. The neighboring [hell beings’] suffering, the ordinary hell beings’ suffering and the hungry ghosts’ suffering—wow, it’s unbelievable—it’s for thousands of years or ten thousand years, like that, so long. Then all the animals’ suffering—the animals in the ocean, all kinds, the smallest ones you can’t see with the eye but with a machine, and the large ones like a mountain, whales and all kinds, that look like rocks, flowers and trees; there are all kinds of sentient beings.

And then in the bushes, under the ground, in the trees, in the sky, in our body and in the animal’s body, there are all kinds of sentient beings, and there are numberless universes, so not only those in this world. So numberless human beings, numberless sura beings, numberless asura beings, numberless intermediate state beings. We have been suffering and all those beings have been suffering from beginningless rebirths because of the wrong concept.

Actually your thinking—the thought coming of various weapons and wanting to kill yourself—actually, there’s no real I to kill, so that is totally childish, that is totally nonsense. There’s no actual I that exists, so there’s nothing to kill. Thinking there’s a real I is a hallucination; from the beginning, there’s no real I, so it’s a hallucination to kill.

There’s no real doer, I, the harm-giver, there’s no action of harm-giving and there’s no object to be harmed, there’s no object, there’s no you to be harmed. So there’s no creator of negative karma, you, there’s no action creating negative karma, and there’s no object, the negative karma created from beginningless rebirth. It’s all totally empty, it does not exist at all. That’s the reality, that’s what we have to think, to meditate on and to practice mindfulness of, all the time.

So meditate on this even while you are eating, even while you are on the toilet doing pipi or kaka, and while you’re walking. You know you can do very excellent meditation while you’re walking. Sometimes you can recite the Heart Sutra and meditate. You can find commentaries around, so read the commentaries and learn about that.

However, the essence of what I want to say is this: there are no real things that appear and that we believe in from beginningless rebirth. The oceans of samsaric suffering, all the six realms’ [beings] have been suffering numberless times from beginningless rebirth and if we still don’t realize emptiness, if we don’t learn about emptiness, particularly Dharma, particularly emptiness, then we’ll have to be reborn in samsara numberless times and then suffer everything again, numberless times. This is the best opportunity, now we have received a human body, we can learn Dharma and practice Dharma. 

You were born into a Buddhist family, people, so it gives you the opportunity to learn Buddhism. Otherwise if you were born with totally no interest in Buddhism, no understanding, then it’s very difficult. The most precious human body, this human life is totally, totally wasted, and not only wasted, but day and night you continuously create negative karma to be born in the lower realms, the hell realms, for eons and eons. You are so fortunate that you’re born in a Buddhist family and you have the opportunity to learn Buddhism, so please meditate on what I have said.

So all those thoughts that arise, for example, about weapons, there’s no such thing. As I mentioned, the doer, action and object are all just a complete, total hallucination.

It is a spirit that is causing this harm to you. It’s not your mind, it’s a spirit that is causing this harm to you, think like that. Many of the people who commit suicide in the West have no idea of that; they have [not] learned that it’s connected to spirit harm. Often it is because of generally having some problem with attachment or anger or something, you know, because of the self-cherishing thought, and they miss so much not getting something they want.

Then, relating to that outside spirit, as you know, the spirit also came from the mind. Everything came from the mind including the I. So the spirit then contacts us and tries to harm to us. It makes us think all sorts of things, like jumping from a roof or jumping from a bridge, and all kinds of things. It makes us think and do it. It’s very common, the spirit overwhelms us and it becomes sort of like the driver of a car; it drives our life, drives our mind, kind of like that.

You should think these are not your thoughts. So many people think they are their own thoughts, and then they follow that thought and it takes just a minute to kill themselves. What happens is, I think, then the spirit harms them. Then after they are killed they get reborn as the spirit’s surrounding servant, so it becomes like that.

If you can, recite the Heart Sutra and please find the commentary by His Holiness, then it’s very good, and also meditate on this. You should also read the White Umbrella Deity prayer three times. This is very, very important; it’s such a powerful deity for pacifying spirit harm. But if you meditate on emptiness, that is the best, most powerful thing.

Rinpoche checked more and gave this additional advice:

• His Holiness the Dalai Lama taught the Heart Sutra in San Jose at the request of FPMT in around 2001. A book was made of those teachings, called Essence of the Heart Sutra: the Dalai Lama’s Heart of Wisdom Teachings. Use this for study and just reading it in a contemplative way will be meditating.
• Read this in a contemplative way again and again. This will be the same as meditating on emptiness. Be patient and do when you can. Keep at it regularly.
• Rinpoche will do dü kar [White Umbrella Deity] puja for you.
• You should recite the White Umbrella Deity prayer three times. Do this once a day.
• Recite the Mantra Promised by Tara. Try to do this as much as you can. This is also good for general success.

My most dear, most kind, most precious, wish-fulfilling one,
I received your email and letter and read them. I checked and you need some pujas done:

• 100 meat and 100 food offering [Tib: Shakya Sega].  It comes out best if Ven. Samten, the monk who lives at Land of Medicine Buddha, does this for you.
• Drugchuma puja: to be done by Geshe Jinpa and Ven. Tendar at Kopan Monastery.

It is very important to practice thought transformation for any sickness or problem that you are experiencing. Bodhisattvas use any difficulty to be able to practice thought transformation and this is best, so this is what you should try to do. You can take the suffering of all sentient beings, particularly those who have similar problems, and experience not only the problems but also the causes, including the obscurations, the negative karma. Take that into your heart and destroy the self-cherishing thought, the ignorance, the root of samsara.

There is no I at all existing from its own side, only what exists in mere name, only in mere name.

Believing that [the I] exists from its own side and is real, that concept is the root of samsara. So you need to destroy that because it is the root of samsara, from which the oceans of suffering of the six realms come. You have experienced this [suffering] already numberless times from beginningless rebirths and you will also experience it in the future, numberless times without end, if you don’t experience the four noble truths in this life, practice the direct perception of emptiness.

So you should do that. Therefore the problem become very precious, because you are taking their problems into your heart and experiencing and destroying that, from where the self-cherishing thought—ignorance, the root of samsara, believing the I is truly existent, real—comes.

By doing that you are able to realize emptiness and bodhicitta. Those two things, method and wisdom, are the most important basic things, and with that you can practice tantra. If you practice correctly you can achieve enlightenment, as the Buddha taught. You can achieve full enlightenment in this very lifetime, even in a very brief life of degenerate time.

It becomes the most powerful purification of all the obscurations and negative karma collected since beginningless rebirth and is the way to collect the most extensive merits, which are the cause of achieving realizations on the path to enlightenment. That is the quickest way to achieve enlightenment. In reality, from this you are practicing Mahayana teachings, especially thought transformation, lojong, by experiencing the problems as so precious, like a jewel.

So practice like this, doing lojong. If you can, read my other teachings on lojong and how to use difficult situations on the path. This will help you to elaborate and understand how to use the difficulties on the path. [Rinpoche’s books include Transforming Problems and The Door to Satisfaction. You can also find more advice in Rinpoche's Online Advice Book.]

The other puja you need is the Prajnaparamita in 8,000 verses (Tib: gyetongpa Wyl: brgyad stong pa). You can contact Kopan nunnery and ask them to recite this. Tell them that this is my advice and is what is needed for you. Give your name and ask them to make strong dedications for you to have a meaningful life and to be healthy, to not have problems. Say to the nuns that I requested they read well for you and also for all sentient beings.

If you can, recite at least three malas a day of Vajrapani Garuda Hayagriva mantra. Recite at least one or two malas, but it is best if you can do three malas a day.

So this is my advice. Please try this. Try to make your life most meaningful with the thought of bodhicitta day and night, and in all your actions.

With much love and prayers ...

Please give this to your husband to read and even it doesn’t make sense now, he should read it again and again:

First, accept that this is the nature of life. Since birth we do not have total freedom; we are totally under the control of delusion and karma and that is the basis of suffering. So generate in your mind [the wish] to be totally free from the cause of suffering—delusion and karma. That means your own mind, not someone else’s mind. It is your mind that is the cause of your suffering, that creates delusion and karma. Now for your own mind to be free—for you to be free from delusion and karma—it is by actualizing the path in your own mind.

Then in particular [by realizing] the ultimate wisdom, by directly perceiving the ultimate reality of the I, you are able to free yourself from the suffering of death, rebirth, old age, sickness and so forth. You will also become free from the second type of suffering, the suffering of change, which is all those temporary sufferings that are labelled pleasures.

All those sufferings arise from pervasive compounding suffering. The third suffering is pervasive, so that means your aggregates are under the control of delusion and karma, therefore they are pervaded by suffering. [The aggregates] are contaminated by the seed of delusion and karma, and from that seed, delusion arises again, and suffering arises again. So that’s how it compounds. Therefore we need to be free from this pervasive compounding suffering and then we will be totally free from the sufferings of death, rebirth, old age and sickness—from the suffering of pain and the suffering of change.

With Dharma happiness we can continue and develop, and that is when we become totally free; by developing this we will be totally free from pervasive compounded suffering, forever! So then we achieve nirvana, the blissful state of peace for ourselves. Then we can free others, the numberless living beings, from suffering and the cause of suffering—delusion and karma—and bring them to peerless happiness, the total cessation of obscurations and completion of realizations, full enlightenment.

This is the reason why we first need to accept whatever problems we have, because that is the nature of life, of the undeveloped mind. It is the nature of life, it is the mistakes of our life that we have to accept. Then our problems become much smaller or there are no problems.

This is a huge thing and understanding this makes a huge difference in our life, whether we have happiness or whether we have problems.

Carefully watch the mind with mindfulness and consciousness, with remembrance that the mind is meditating on the mind. Have mindfulness or consciousness of this, so the mind is not wandering outside.

Carefully the mind watches the mind, like police watching a thief or as if you are watching a thief. First you think the thief is your friend, but then you realize that person is a thief, so you are watching that. Do that for a while, maybe for the first meditation.

Then in the next meditation, afterward or at a later time, you can first look at the I. There is a real I which has been appearing from beginningless rebirths and that we believe one hundred percent. Then there is the merely labelled I, which appears like that, we see the I like that.

What is correct and what is incorrect? The first belief, the real I from beginningless time, is the wrong, hallucinated mind. We believe that is correct but it is wrong. The merely labelled I, believing the I is merely labelled, that is correct.

For us, our mind is so habituated in the hallucination and hallucinating mind from beginningless rebirths, so for our mind it seems the first one [the real I] is right and the second one [the merely labelled I] is wrong. It seems the second one does not exist. But that is completely opposite.

For those who have the right wisdom, they have the realization that the real I—that which has been appearing from beginningless rebirths—is totally false and believing in that is a wrong concept. They realize that the I exists in mere name, merely labelled by the mind. So in the view of that mind, they can see what is right and what is wrong.

Please read this slowly again and again. It might not make sense to begin with. Later, after some time, if you like I will send you more information. But first do this, try this and later maybe I can send you more information.

I am also making prayers for you.

With much love and prayers ...

My very dear one,
Whether a problem involves humans or spirits, basically it caused by one’s own karma. This is what you need to have done:

1. Che trul (Liberating from harm puja)

2. Mamo trü kang

3. Ga gön puja. This is a short blessing for protection.

4. You should also recite one mala of the Most Secret Hayagriva mantra each day. If you haven't had the initiation you can visualize Most Secret Hayagriva in front and still recite the mantra. If you've had the initiation, you can visualize yourself as the deity. Red light is sent out from Most Secret Hayagriva, totally burning all disease, negative karma, spirit harm and obscurations. You become filled with limitless skies of qualities of Hayagriva’s holy body, speech and mind, especially omniscience, great compassion and perfect power.

Any uncomfortable thing is the experience of past negative karma, which means being more careful about [not] creating negative karma and trying to live creating good karma, practicing Dharma, which will result in more happiness and less problems.

Remember the advice of Kadampa Geshe Kharag Gomchung:

This present little suffering purifies my past negative karma and then there will be happiness in the future. Therefore, rejoice in the suffering.

Also use it to practice bodhicitta. Think: “I have been praying to receive all sentient beings’ suffering, so now I have received it. I’m experiencing this suffering on behalf of all sentient beings.”

This is the main thing to try to think. In that way, suffering becomes happiness; it’s transformed into happiness and is no longer suffering. It becomes the cause of enlightenment and the cause of the happiness of all sentient beings.

With much love and prayers ...