Advice on Depression

My most dear, most precious, most kind, wish-fulfilling one,
Thank you very much for your kind letter sent so long ago. My apologies for the many eons of delay. I heard your name many times, unless it was somebody else.

I already began teaching on depression online, but I haven’t finished. Now I’m explaining refuge for one small girl and some people in China. It is in English, so everyone can listen. I began the teachings on depression in Maratika, and now I’m doing refuge, but after that, again I will do more. [You can watch the videos and read along with the transcripts of Rinpoche’s teaching “From Where Depression Comes” and “What to Think When You Are Depressed”.]

First of all, to answer something for you now, this is not your mistake. As you know, they wouldn’t listen to you, so it’s not your mistake. The person drowning was not your mistake. If it was, then it would be the mistake of everyone at the beach because they didn’t go to catch that person. So if you blame everyone at the beach, then you would even blame the puppies there because they didn’t save the person.

The essence, the essential advice is that if we don’t practice Dharma, if we don’t practice lamrim, which is the condensation of all the 84,000 teachings that the Buddha taught—if we don’t practice correctly devoting to the virtuous friend, the root of the path to enlightenment, and renunciation, bodhicitta and the right view, then the tantric teachings, the generation and completion stage—then of course, we will continuously follow the self-cherishing thought, the ignorance, the root [of samsara], the king of all the delusions, holding the I which appears as a real one from there when it is a hallucination to the hallucinated mind.

By believing it is real, we’re creating ignorance and we have been doing this since beginningless rebirths. This is the biggest hallucination, that I, action, object, samsara and nirvana, hell and enlightenment, everything, all the problems and the rest of phenomena appear from there, existing by themselves, from their own side, real, and then we let our mind hold onto that as true. That is ignorance, we’re creating ignorance.

Until we are free from this, then not only has it made us suffer continuously in the oceans of the six realms’ sufferings—of the hells, of the hungry ghosts, of the animals, of the humans, of the suras and the asuras—from beginningless rebirths, not just one time, but also we’ll suffer again endlessly. All these sufferings, all the suffering that we have already seen—people’s and animals’ suffering—all that we see and hear about, we experience it again and again with no end. This is what happens.

Then we cheat ourselves, we are cheating ourselves. Nobody else cheats us; we’ve been cheating ourselves from beginningless rebirths and again endlessly, and not only that, we cheat all sentient beings. By following the self-cherishing thought and the ignorance, this king of delusion, then we cheat all the sentient beings as well. We harm them and they have also been suffering since beginningless rebirths.

Again, if we don’t practice Dharma, if we don’t practice the three principal aspects of the path in this life, then we’ll be experiencing the suffering of samsara without end and we’ll harm the numberless sentient beings without end, they will have to suffer.

Therefore, if we think the solution is just being worried alone, that doesn’t help. What we need to do is practice Dharma, the root of the path to enlightenment, which is correctly devoting to the virtuous friend with thought and action, and then on the basis of renunciation, bodhicitta and the right view, to try to listen, reflect and do meditation practice, and try to develop wisdom and bodhicitta. Then practice the tantric path, the two stages, generation and completion. This is the answer, this is the conclusion.

So in this way we become free, and instead of cheating ourselves, deceiving ourselves, we become free from samsara, free from the oceans of samsaric suffering, which we have experienced since beginningless rebirths. And not only that, we achieve enlightenment and then we can free the numberless sentient beings from the oceans of samsaric suffering. Not only that, we bring everyone to full enlightenment, buddhahood.

So this is what we have to do, the conclusion is we need to practice that. That’s what we need to do every day; that’s what we have to do every hour, every minute, every second.

OK, so my answer is finished for the time being. So do lamrim meditation every day and live your life with bodhicitta motivation, with the thought to benefit all sentient beings. Live the life with that. Even when you eat, eat for the benefit of sentient beings, with bodhicitta. Even when you go shopping, do it with bodhicitta, to benefit all sentient beings. When you go for a walk, walk with bodhicitta, to benefit sentient beings, and when you go to sleep, sleep with bodhicitta, to benefit sentient beings, to sleep for your health.

When you go to the toilet, do the same thing. Think all sentient beings are in your heart and all the negative karma and delusion, the cause of suffering and so on, come down and go into the mouth of the Lord of Death. As it reaches the mouth of the Lord of Death, it becomes nectar, then the mouth of the Lord of Death is closed and sealed with a double vajra. Then it becomes a long-life meditation for you. Also, when you do pipi, [think] all the suffering of sentient beings, their delusion and karma, comes out.

These are examples, but you should try to do everything with bodhicitta, so you have to elaborate. For example, when you wash, think you are washing away all sentient beings’ negative karma and defilements, then washing becomes for sentient beings.

If you have received a great initiation you can visualize yourself as a deity and then purify, do the washing. Or you can do the offering bath practice, offering a bath to the deity, but not just to the deity, also to the guru, then you collect the most unbelievable merit and it becomes the greatest purification. So I am giving you some examples.

Please listen to my teachings on depression. Please look out for them here.

With much love and prayers ...

My most dear one,
I will meet you, I will invite you—you are my daughter—but for now I am keeping this advice short.

There are numberless sentient beings who don’t get happiness, therefore, think, “May I experience, may I receive all the sentient beings’ unhappiness and may they be free from all the sufferings of samsara, the oceans of suffering of samsara, and achieve enlightenment immediately.”

Use your unhappiness, whatever it is, for sentient beings, not just going “Arggh,” torturing yourself. Think of numberless sentient beings’ suffering, which is even worse than yours. So you experience that, you take it on yourself, on your heart, and give it to the self-cherishing thought, which has harmed you from beginningless rebirths up to now.

What makes us feel bad is our own self-cherishing thought, our worst enemy. So, for example, if we see an outside enemy who harms us, then we want to harm them back, but that is totally wrong, because all our past, present and future happiness comes from every sentient being. All the numberless buddhas, Dharma and Sangha come from every sentient being—every mosquito, every ant, every person who is angry with us, who doesn’t love us. All our happiness comes from them and all the harms come from our own self-cherishing thought—that is our worst enemy.

The self-cherishing thought has caused your suffering from beginningless rebirths, now and future. Not only that, by following the self-cherishing thought, then you give harm to numberless sentient beings, to everyone, in the past, present and future. So it’s the worst thing. So now, although this unhappiness is given to you by the self-cherishing thought, by recognizing that, you take all the unhappiness of sentient beings on yourself and use it as bomb to destroy the self-cherishing, just as America used missiles to destroy Iraq. Like that, you can destroy the self-cherishing thought, then it’s so good.

Then you can send this prayer, “May all the sentient beings to be free from all the unhappiness, all the samsaric sufferings, and may they achieve enlightenment as quickly as possible.”

So that is fantastic; it makes you most happy and your life becomes like gold, like diamonds. By doing this, you collect so many skies of merits, and the greatest purification. Then you reach enlightenment very, very fast.

Thank you very, very much, my daughter. Thank you!

With much love and prayers ...

My most dear, most precious most kind, most wish-fulfilling one,
To start to answer, first, maybe you didn’t study the lamrim from beginning to end, or you received teachings but from your side, the study and practice of lamrim from beginning to end didn’t happen. Without this we create the causes of suffering in this and future lives, also we will suffer in the lower realms for eons. Even in the human realms we suffer.

So the whole short entire answer is [the depression is due to] not having put effort into the practice of lamrim; taking teachings from the guru and [not] studying. Whether you have practiced or not, you didn’t use that practice to subdue the mind.

For example, in a monastery, even hearing, studying and debating day and night, but perhaps not inwardly studying and practicing, then the mind becomes worse and develops pride, because of not having any practice. This is an example of a monk in a monastery. Similarly, we can study the Basic Program or the Masters Program but still if we don’t practice and subdue our mind, to generate the feeling of the experience, then the mind is gross like before we met the Dharma. Then problems come over and over again.

We can say many things, but the essence is not having practiced Dharma, not having renunciation of this and future lives, not having strong compassion, bodhicitta and realization of emptiness. If this is not done, not practiced, then problems come like a river. Sorry that I have to say it, but this is the problem.

We can recite a lot of mantras but that is not enough. It is like His Holiness the Dalai Lama says: prayer is not enough. There are many who live with prayer, but do not practice. I have to say, as His Holiness the Dalai Lama says, there can be prayer and devotion, but no practice.

Of course, prayer has power and [the result] is experienced in this and future lives.

So maybe put effort into studying Liberation in the Palm of Your Hand, which is a text that is clear and easy to understand. Study it from beginning to end, but not just reading the sections that you like, such as bodhicitta, and never reading about suffering or the nature of samsara. Then you never get free from your own suffering, then no compassion and of course no bodhicitta, because no renunciation. Many Westerners do like that.

Before in Europe, in Spain, I taught a course on the suffering of the lower realms and there was one old student, who was an animal liberation person, but she could not bear those sessions and she would go out, because she helped animals.

But how do we develop compassion? Not just for those beings in the desire realm where there is the suffering of pain, the suffering of change and pervasive compounding suffering. And not just for those in the form realm, where there is the suffering of change and pervasive compounding suffering, or in the formless realm which only has pervasive compounding suffering. This is because the mind still has delusion and karma, and then later we will be born in the lower realms. There’s not much chance to create merit while in those [upper] realms, and we are in those realms for a long time, therefore we use the merit we have and then we go to the lower realms where there is much suffering. We have done this numberless times.

To develop compassion for all sentient beings, we need to understand the suffering of samsara. We are unable to bear it and from this we generate compassion, then we actualize bodhicitta. Then everything becomes the cause of enlightenment, even eating, sleeping, doing our job and breathing. It’s amazing, amazing, so beneficial for sentient beings. This is how we go to enlightenment.

So please read Liberation in the Palm of Your Hand five times from beginning to end and study the text. For example, the Lamrim Chenmo, which was written by the great Lama Tsongkhapa, is often read nine times by people and often new understanding comes each time it is read.

Reading the lamrim is the best thing, because it is reading all the Buddha’s teachings. Great! Then we are able to eliminate the two obscurations and go to enlightenment and bring all sentient beings to enlightenment. What else do we need? It’s the best, most beneficial and happiest thing for sentient beings that we can do. This is the most important thing in the life.

Regarding your depression, study lamrim and meditate. That is the antidote to depression. It frees us from all the delusions and depression.

Before in England there was a young man who was depressed for twenty-five years and then he cured himself. He worked in a garden but he worked for others, with the thought of bringing happiness to others, then he cured himself of depression. He learnt by himself, not by doing a course.

If we live our life with bodhicitta, the thought to benefit others and bring them to enlightenment, so then everything we do is for others, even eating food is for others, not only for ourselves. Not only for ourselves but for other sentient beings, even for one other sentient being; that is the best medicine for depression. Bodhicitta is for others’ happiness, temporal and ultimate, for the total cessation of obscurations and completion of all the realizations. This is the happiest thing. It’s incredible, incredible, most enjoyable, even breathing in and out. This is the best thing, when we do that for others.

In terms of effortful lamrim practice, you can go over the outlines again and again. Go through the cycle on each topic five times and then do effortless meditation.

The most meaningful thing to do besides lamrim is to live your life with bodhicitta, as mentioned before, to benefit others.

In the morning do the meditation called The Method to Transform a Suffering Life into Happiness (Including Enlightenment). This transforms your life from kaka into gold, from negative to Dharma and from Dharma to bodhicitta. Then everything is done with bodhicitta.

I have asked many students to do this, changing the motivation to bodhicitta, then the mind becomes wish-fulfilling for sentient beings—besides ourselves, but that happiness for ourselves happens by the way. Our mind becomes wish-fulfilling. Wow, wow, wow! The mind is not only Dharma but wish-fulfilling bodhicitta. Wow, wow! Bringing sentient beings to enlightenment. Wow! To benefit numberless sentient beings. Wow! Each minute the mind is in bodhicitta, goodbye depression.

You must recite Vajrayogini. You didn’t mention that in the list of what you recite. If you don’t want to suffer in samsara, then the quickest way to enlightenment is to be born in the pure land. You must, must, must recite this mantra, don’t miss this. This is not for yourself. This is for every sentient being, for all sentient beings, the way to make life most meaningful and enjoyable.

In Lama Tsongkhapa’s life story you don’t hear much about Vajrasattva practice, so one time in Dharamsala I asked my guru, Kyabje Denma Locho Rinpoche, and when he answered, he answered publicly. He said just one time reciting the Thirty-five Buddha names with the four powers, by doing that well, we purify the five heinous crimes—killing one’s mother or father, killing an arhat, drawing blood from a buddha and creating disunity amongst the Sangha—so all of these get purified. Otherwise, they are the cause of spending eons in the hottest hell, but they get totally purified, totally purified. That is why Lama Tsongkhapa did so many hundreds of thousands of prostrations. I thought he did less but actually he did much more, then realizations come like rainfall.

At nighttime recite the long Vajrasattva mantra twenty-one or twenty-eight or more times. Or recite the short Vajrasattva mantra, OM VAJRASATTVA HUM, twenty-eight times. Otherwise our negative karma increases, doubles, triples like that. It’s so important to do this with the four opponent powers. Not only that, it purifies today’s, yesterday’s and past negative karma. Wow, wow, wow!

If we don’t do Vajrasattva then after fifteen days the negative karma created increases by 18,184 times. That means even if there is no story of having killed a human being, each negative karma of our body, speech and mind increases to be equal to killing a human being. So many! It becomes like killing so many human beings and after eighteen days, our negative karma increases by 100,072 times. It’s so heavy. Then by increasing day by day, by the time we die, one atom becomes like a mountain, so heavy, and then we take rebirth in the hells for eons. This is just for this life, forget about past lives.

So now you can see that Vajrasattva practice done with the four powers has incredible protection. That’s how we protect ourselves from the lower realms. We can’t think there is a God who protects us from negative karma. We have to purify.

You are most welcome to enlightenment, in order to enlighten all sentient beings.

With much love and prayers ...

My most dear, most kind, most precious, wish-fulfilling one,

What comes out best for you is to really meditate on emptiness. Please read the advice which I have given. It can be helpful. [See the FPMT booklet Recognizing the False I.]

You need to think a lot on emptiness, how we create the label “I” there, on the aggregates. The mind is focused on the aggregates and that same mind makes up the label I, so that is the merely imputed I. That’s it, there is nothing more that exists. Anything slightly more than that is a hallucination.

The subtle object of refutation according to the Prasangika Madhyamaka view means how the I appears back to us as not merely labeled by the mind. If it is slightly more than that, it means it’s a hallucination.

In reality, that is how the I exists. You can see now what the I is. It is extremely subtle, subtle, subtle. This is something that we usually never think about in that way, except for the meditators.

Also it is similar for the aggregates, if we analyze, they exist in mere name, the same as the I, then the aggregates are labeled on another base, and so it goes on and on. Everything exists in mere name.

So now you can see [everything is] totally empty, including the I. It is not saying the I doesn’t exist, but it doesn’t exist from its own side. You have to meditate in this awareness, and not only that, but also seeing that the whole world is totally empty, it does not exist from its own side. What exists is in mere name, just like the I.

The second time you meditate, think of the emptiness of the world for as long as you can, then think that samsara, nirvana, hell, enlightenment, everyday happiness, pleasure, everything, is merely labeled by the mind. All these things do not exist from their own side; they are merely labeled by the mind, totally empty.

If you can, gradually meditate on the emptiness of hell, enlightenment, samsara, nirvana, happiness, unhappiness. For as long as you can, with mindfulness, meditate on that emptiness. This is an excellent meditation.

That means the person who is sick—you who are sick—is empty, they do not exist from their own side. Real sickness does not exist from its own side—the experience of sickness, the action—realize it is empty, it does not exist from its own side. This would be excellent.

It is merely labeled by the mind, so meditating on emptiness like this is very, very good. So here again do it with mindfulness, awareness, for as long as you can. This is unbelievable, most powerful. This purifies negative karma and obscurations collected from beginningless rebirths and collects inconceivable, inconceivable merits.

To realize emptiness, to be able to realize emptiness, to see the emptiness, the ultimate truth of the I and so forth, is the only way to eliminate the root of samsara, ignorance, holding the I and the aggregates as truly existent. This ignorance is the root of samsara.

This is the only way to become free from the oceans of samsaric sufferings, including the cause—delusion and karma. Then we can achieve everlasting happiness, the blissful state of peace for oneself, and by developing this wisdom not only do we become free from gross obscurations, but we also become free from the subtle obscurations. And with the support of bodhicitta for sentient beings, we are able to free the numberless sentient beings from the oceans of samsaric suffering, including the causes, and bring them to total cessation of obscurations and completion of realizations, buddhahood.

Now I’ll introduce the basis, the hallucination of all our suffering. In the first second the “I” is merely imputed by the mind, and that which is the merely imputed I appears back as the real one, which means existing from its own side, existing by nature or truly existent. How this happened, how the I started to come into existence, is totally opposite to reality.

There is ignorance from beginningless rebirths, continuously generated negative imprints left on the mind, the mental continuum, from the past, from beginningless rebirths. The negative imprints immediately project the merely labeled I. It appears to exist from its own side, and not only that, which is the subtle one, it even appears to be truly existent from its own side, so the mind never labeled I. This is a very gross view of the I, according to the four schools of Buddhist philosophy. Then, the Mind Only school (Skt: Cittamatra) believes that things exist depending on the imprints left on the seventh consciousness, experienced out as the subject and object—one is the mind knowing, one is the object.

The I and the aggregates are like the king and the population. The king depends on the population, and if we think of the king without thinking of the population, that is the wrong way of thinking. It’s the same with the I.

Then thinking about even gross impermanence; thinking it is permanent, without depending on the parts, existing alone. Without depending on causes and conditions, existing independently, this is the last gross one, the extremely gross view of the I. So it’s all there in the view of the I, in our view of the I.

Now you can see this is a total hallucination; the way the I appears to us is a total hallucination. It does not exist at all from its own side, there’s no such thing, not even an atom of that. So it’s like that, the aggregates—the base—are labeled, and so it goes on and on.

Now the whole world appears like the I. It appears real from there, but all this, even the atoms, are not there, they are totally empty. Then you can practice awareness again by looking at the hallucination as a hallucination as much as you can, starting with the I. Next, look at the whole world. Next, samsara and nirvana, which appear as real—real hell and real enlightenment. Practice awareness of that, meditate on that.

Then real pleasure, real suffering. In your everyday life look at these as a hallucination and recognize the hallucination, like when you are dreaming. Recognize the dream as a dream. Normally in a dream we believe it is real, like our daytime life—we think everything is truly existent, as it appears. We believe it one hundred percent, just as in the dreamtime we believe the whole dream is real. That is a total mistake.

So if your mind gets used to this and develops in this understanding of emptiness, it is a most unbelievable way to purify and collect merits, as I explained before. It always leaves positive imprints, at least to realize emptiness.

Please try this.

With much love and prayers ...

My most dear, most kind, most precious wish-fulfilling one,
Thank you very much your kind email. I am so sorry it was received a long time ago and I wasn't able to reply quickly.

Yes, for us ordinary beings, since we haven’t actualized the path directly perceiving emptiness, there is nothing to cease the delusions, which are the cause of karma. The result is birth, sickness, old age and death, and all the sufferings in samsara as well as all the samsaric pleasures. Actually, all the samsaric pleasures are in the nature of suffering. That’s why it is only Dharma happiness that can continue and be completed.

When we achieve nirvana, when the suffering of samsara is ceased, including for us, then we cease all the subtle obscurations. With the support of bodhicitta and depending on the wisdom realizing emptiness, then we are able to achieve enlightenment, buddhahood

That’s why Buddha was like us before, having all the problems, then Buddha let go of the I, where all the problems come from and where all suffering comes from, and instead he cherished others. This is opening the door for all the happiness up to enlightenment for us and for all sentient beings.

Buddha changed his mind and that’s why he achieved enlightenment. It is the same for numberless buddhas, and it is the same for us ordinary beings if we get to actualize the path.

As you know, after birth there is death, but it doesn't mean that is the end, because mind continues. Even though mind doesn't have a beginning, it is continuous. So you have met your relative in the past numberless times in different forms and that’s why you met again in this life. She died, but as long as she is in samsara you will always meet again endlessly, but in different forms. So there is nothing to be sad about.

Of course if she is born in a hell, hungry ghost or animal realm, then yes, that is a reason to be sad, because she is suffering in samsara. So then we need to pray for her to be reborn in a pure land or to have a higher rebirth, to be able to meet the Dharma, practice the Dharma and achieve the path.

Therefore it is very good to do the King of Prayers for your relative and for all sentient beings. Also the tenth chapter of A Guide to the Bodhisattva Way of Life and the Prayer to be Reborn in the Land of Bliss. These prayers are contained in The Eight Prayers [a collection of prayers for the recently deceased.]

That is what we can do for her. Otherwise, generate compassion for her, as well as for all sentient beings.

You should not be negative but try to be positive. Any problem we have, we can think like this, as Kadampa Geshe Khamlungpa, one ancient meditator, said:

This present experience of suffering
(you can relate to whatever you are experiencing)
Finishes past negative karma.
This is the advantage and in the future there will be great happiness.
Therefore, rejoice in this suffering.

This is using the suffering on the path to enlightenment, with bodhicitta, so then it will be like the sun shining. From the sun shining, human beings enjoy, animals enjoy, insects enjoy, plants grow and so forth. Like that, there will be more and more happiness, greater and greater, then we go to enlightenment.

The great yogi Gotsangpa said:

By my experiencing this sickness,
(he said sickness but it can be any problem, so you can relate this to your depression)
May all sentient beings be free from sickness collected from beginningless rebirths,
(for you it’s relating to depression, or you can say depression, spirit possession, negative karma and all the defilements)
And may they achieve enlightenment immediately.

You can recite this verse in the same way that you recite OM MANI PADME HUM, like on a mala. You can recite this over and over, like this. That means whatever problems you are experiencing you use for the benefit of all sentient beings, for all sentient beings to cease their suffering quickly and achieve enlightenment.

Then it is fantastic. This much you can do, then you collect skies of merit each time you think this. It is unbelievable, unbelievable, unbelievable. What I am explaining is just a seed, just the essence, there is a lot more.

Also, if you can, please read my book Transforming Problems into Happiness.

Depression usually comes from attachment, from the self-cherishing thought, from attachment that didn’t succeed. Sometimes depression comes for no reason, so you feel OK but it comes at certain times, like at nighttime or in the morning, and the mind suddenly becomes depressed. At other times you are happy but when night or morning comes, suddenly you get depressed, so that can also happen. I have seen in Dharma texts it mentions that when it comes in the morning, suddenly it happens that the person is depressed without depending on those negative things. It happens like that, so this is because of past life karma to do with sexual misconduct. It is the result of that, so then every morning they get depressed without any particular reason, it suddenly happens. Also at other times many people who get depressed at night are OK during the day. There are different causes, like this.

If you can do tonglen that would be very good. If you can do that, it would be the greatest, to transform the suffering into enlightenment. This makes it most beneficial and the cause to achieve enlightenment for sentient beings and for sentient beings to achieve enlightenment, the peerless happiness.

Also if you can do Vajrasattva practice, to purify negative karma with the remedy of the four powers. This came out very good for you. Mostly do that practice. This is very important, and begin with bodhicitta motivation.

Please try this. I am also making prayers.

With much love and prayers ...

My most dear, most kind, most precious, wish-fulfilling one,
Thank you very much your kind email. I guess what would help you most is practicing the good heart. Transform your mind into the good heart for others—not only people, but even animals, insects, and so forth—to cherish them and take care of them, to not harm them, to cause their happiness, to love them.

This practice is called bodhicitta. You are totally cherishing others and that is what causes not only happiness right now, but happiness of future lives, then liberation from samsara forever, to achieve the blissful state of peace forever, and to achieve the peerless happiness, buddhahood. Peerless happiness in Sanskrit is called buddhahood; in English it is the total cessation of obscurations and completion of realizations.

The purpose of that is to be able to liberate numberless sentient beings from the oceans of samsaric suffering, and not only that, but to be able to bring everyone to the peerless happiness, buddhahood, the total cessation of obscurations and completion of realizations. To bring everybody at home and outside [the home], even the animals, the insects, to that state; to not harm, to help them, to try to bring happiness to everyone. Our mind has that responsibility, and that is the ultimate purpose of our life. That is why our life is unbelievably meaningful and precious.

This is how to make your life most happy.

Also, you need to read more books to develop and to understand this practice. It would be very good if you can read these books:

• Bodhisattva Attitude
• Transforming Problems into Happiness
• A Guide to the Bodhisattva Way of Life

If you can, read the first chapter of A Guide to the Bodhisattva Way of Life. You can read the other books slowly, but maybe read Bodhisattva Attitude first.

With much love and prayers ...