Rinpoche gave the following advice to a student regarding her children’s problems. Her thirteen-year-old daughter had been hospitalized, and had been abused by the student's father. Her seventeen-year-old son was involved in drugs and Satanism, and was on medication.
This is a letter from a student who had some realizations about the suffering of cyclic existence. Rinpoche felt it could be helpful for others to read.
Raising children in a society full of negative influences, where bad friends are many, and good friends—disciplined, compassionate friends— are few, is not easy. Western culture has so much desire. It is not like so-called “developing” countries.
A student described the problems her oldest daughter had with bipolar disorder and described herself as a bad mother who drank when her children were growing up.
My very dear Hayley,I am very sorry for the very long delay in replying. I read your letter.
Rinpoche: How is your friend now?Student: My friend is practicing patience and not fighting with her husband and children.Rinpoche: That is good they don’t fight any more.
My suggestion is to try being with him for four months and check during that time. It is not necessary to have a fixed amount of time, that is just my suggestion.I thought you already knew samsara and had experienced it.
My very dear Norma,
Although you don’t have the karma for your relationship to be beneficial, the fact that you are together indicates that you have some previous karma to deal with. You are now married to a person who was created by your delusions and karma.
My very dear Kathy,I deeply apologize that I didn’t get to talk to you that day, when you were returning to your home.
